As a parent of a very soon to be second and seventh grader, I know that back-to-school season always brings a mix of emotions, excitement, nerves and even dread for both children and their caregivers. Whether your child is starting kindergarten, entering middle school, or stepping into their final year of high school, transitions like these can stir up anxiety, uncertainty, and behavioral shifts. As a parent, it’s easy to focus on school supplies and schedules, but what’s just as important if not more, is preparing their emotional backpack too.
Let’s talk about how to help our kids adjust while keeping ourselves grounded in the process.
1. Normalize the Nerves
One of the most powerful tools we have is validation. If your child says they’re scared or nervous, resist the urge to talk them out of it. Instead, try saying:
“That makes sense. New things/change can feel a little scary sometimes.”
This lets them know they’re not broken for feeling that way and neither are you.
Try this: Share your own memories of being nervous before a school year started. Even a short story can make them feel seen.
2. Create Gentle Routines Early
Summer often brings late bedtimes, inconsistent meals, and a go-with-the-flow rhythm. I for one am embarrassed to admit that my own kids have had more screen time than what is recommended. While flexibility is beautiful, kids feel safer when they can predict what’s coming. Start reinstating routines a week or two before school starts. Sleep schedules, morning habits, and even simple rituals like “quiet time” after dinner can make the transition smoother.
Bonus tip: Let your child help co-create their new routine. Giving them some control builds confidence.
3. Watch for Anxiety in Disguise
Anxiety doesn’t always look like worry. For younger kids, it might show up as:
- Headaches or stomachaches
- Irritability or clinginess
- Avoiding certain topics (like school)
- Trouble sleeping
For older kids, you might see withdrawal, snapping at siblings, or insisting “I’m fine” when they clearly aren’t.
Support tip: Instead of pushing for answers, try inviting them into small moments of connection. Sometimes a walk, a car ride, or a quiet task like folding laundry opens up more space for them to talk.
4. Create Emotional Check-In Rituals
Try implementing a daily check-in: “Highs and lows of the day” at dinner, or a quick feelings chart in the morning. If your child isn’t verbal, encourage them to draw, pick emojis, or use colors to express how they’re doing.
5. Prepare Yourself, Too
Sometimes, it’s our own anxiety that gets stirred up when school starts. Maybe you worry about how your child will adjust, or feel guilt for not being as present as you’d like. Give yourself permission to name your feelings, too. Our kids don’t need perfection, they need presence.
Grounding prompt for you:
“What does my child actually need from me today, and how can I give that to them in a way that honors both of us?”
6. Back-to-School Toolkit
Here are a few practical tools to keep in your emotional toolkit this season:
- Breathing exercises: Try “box breathing” together: inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 , exhale for 4 , hold for 4.
- Mantras: Create a morning mantra together. Something like: “I am safe. I am strong. I can ask for help.”
- Visual schedules: For younger kids, visual charts help them know what’s coming and feel more in control.
- Reconnection time: After school, try 10 uninterrupted minutes of connection before diving into chores or homework.
Final Thoughts:
Back-to-school season isn’t just about pencils and planners, it’s a major emotional transition. But it can also be a season of growth, resilience, and connection if we approach it with curiosity and compassion. Whether your child is clinging to you at drop-off or giving you one-word answers after school, remember: their behavior is communication. And you’re not alone in figuring it out.
Let’s pack their bags with more than just supplies. Let’s fill them up with reassurance, love, and tools for navigating whatever this school year brings.
If this post resonated with you, feel free to share it with another parent or caregiver. We’re all in this together!
Licensed Mental Health Counselor 