Popular Psychology – Page 29 – Licensed Mental Health Counselor

20 Aug 2012by Torey C. Richards, LMHCLeave a Comment

If you’ve worked with clients who have borderline personality disorder (BPD), you’ve probably had a conversation like this:

Therapist: How did that make you feel?

Client: I dunno.

Therapist: How do you think that might have made someone else feel?

Client: I dunno.

Therapist: Take a look at that list of feeling words and see if there’s anything that fits.

Client: Oh God. I can’t face that list today.

Therapist: Well… hm.

Client: You’re getting worried. You’re thinking about referring me, aren’t you?

Can people really be so oblivious to their emotions when they’re so well-attuned to yours?

Carina Frick, Simone Lang, et al answer at least half of that question in their new study. They asked clients with BPD to receive an MRI while guessing the emotions others displayed in photographs. The BPD clients out-guessed the control group of healthy subjects. The fMRIs showed they actually…

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Popular Psychology

Clearing The Air: Mental Illness In Relation to Smoking

20 Aug 201216 Aug 2012by Torey C. Richards, LMHC1 Comment

The other day I was at a sports bar people watching, something I commonly do, when an attractive waitress caught my attention. I watched as she went outside on her break and then did the most disgusting and disfiguring thing, she put a cigarette between her lips and lit it.

I was shocked as I watched her inhale and then exhale a white puff of smoke. She had to be aware of the astounding amount of health issues related to smoking from cancer to cardiovascular disease, and she was smoking by herself so there weren’t any apparent social benefits, so how could someone so young and beautiful be putting that carcinogenic smoke into her body?

I immediately started thinking that she had to be self-medicating for one reason or another and that got me to thinking, is that why so many people are still smoking, can they all be self-medicating with nicotine and if so, from what?

The first obvious answer to me was stress. A lot of people smoke because they are stressed out and use nicotine to help calm their nerves. A study I read said that approximately 30% of people who smoke do so because they are depressed. For these people, nicotine actually helps them feel better, if only temporarily. These people instead of learning how to deal with their depression through counseling and appropriate anti-depressants if needed, have learned to depend on nicotine. Evidence of this came from U.S. clinical trials for Wellbutrin, an anti-depressant. During the trial to see how effective Wellbutrin was on depression, a fair number of participants who smoked suddenly stopped smoking. With drug companies being as clever as they are, Wellbuturin was soon not only sold as an anti-depressant, but was repackaged and renamed as Zyban and sold as a treatment to help people quit smoking.

Also, in an article called “Smoking in relation to anxiety and depression: Evidence from a large population survey: The HUNT study” published in European Psychiatry, it was shown that anxiety and depression were the two most common complaints in people who smoke, with anxiety being the highest complaint, followed by anxiety and depression combined and then depression by itself.

People with mental health issues, even if they are underlying, are twice as likely to smoke as the rest of the population. So it is possible that the people around you who smoke, your spouse, your friend, your family member, (or even you if you smoke) may actually be self-medicating for an untreated and undiagnosed issue that needs to be attended to. With proper treatment, they may lose the desire to smoke altogether. Encourage them to talk to their doctor, health care provider or other mental health provider about how their mood factors in with their urges to smoke.

Popular Psychology

19 Aug 2012by Torey C. Richards, LMHCLeave a Comment

To Be Aware

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Popular Psychology

A Quick Glimpse at ADHD in Teenage Girls

17 Aug 201217 Aug 2012by Torey C. Richards, LMHC2 Comments

As I wrote in a previous post, attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder is 2 to 4 times more common in boys than in girls and thus often doesn’t get discussed much when it comes to teenage and adolescent girls.

In her article Calm Down, Boys, Adolescent Girls Have ADHD Too, Mary Bates discusses how ADHD goes unrecognized in girls because they often don’t present with the stereotypical hyperactivity and attention deficit that boys usually present with and because diagnosing ADHD in itself can prove difficult because teenagers can be impulsive, inattentive and disorganized, but not noticeably hyperactive.

Kathleen Nadeau, a clinical psychologist in Silver Spring, Maryland, and coauthor of Understanding Girls with AD/HD states that girls are less likely to be hyperactive and impulsive, but instead may appear “spacey,” unfocused, inattentive, have trouble staying organized and/or remembering directives or homework.

It wasn’t too long ago that ADHD was two separate disorders, ADHD and ADD (attention deficit disorder), but now they are almost always diagnosed as ADHD with a sub-type of either predominately attention-deficit, predominately inattentive or combined.

Since girls often present with different symptoms, they are often diagnosed five years later than boys or go un-diagnosed altogether, thus missing out on proper treatment for their disorder. “A 16-year-old girl who runs stop signs and can never find her homework might not be a rebel- she could have ADHD” Bates says.

Treatment for ADHD includes stimulant medications, school and family counseling. Families can try ignoring minor annoyances while creating a point or contract system (“Wash the dishes now and I will leave you alone while you play your video games”). ADHD is not a curse, many successful and brilliant people today and in history have ADHD, just look at Michael Phelps.

Popular Psychology

15 Aug 2012by Torey C. Richards, LMHCLeave a Comment

help4yourfamily

Written by, Kate Oliver, MSW, LCSW-C

Based on a question I had from my parent affirmation about breathing last week, and because I teach people the mechanics of breathing several times a week, I decided to take a moment to really break this breathing thing down for everyone. Breathing is the first step in getting connected to our bodies and what our body is telling us. Before you think that you already know how to breathe, take a moment to ask yourself whether there were any times in the last week where you noticed you had been hungry and meaning to eat for several hours but did not get around to it. Or, alternately, did you find yourself mindlessly eating away at your child’s leftovers as you were doing the dishes? Maybe you realized you needed to go to the bathroom and just did not give yourself the time to…

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Popular Psychology

13 Aug 2012by Torey C. Richards, LMHCLeave a Comment

help4yourfamily

Kate Oliver, MSW, LCSW-C

I usually get an eye-roll when I mention the idea of breathing or paying attention to one’s breathing in my office. It is so simple. We all breathe all day, everyday. As my dad would say, “It’s better than the alternative.” This week, I want to give you a simple task to go along with your affirmation. Pay attention to your breath. Notice how you are breathing at different times of the day. If each breath is felt most in your shoulders, try taking in a breath that fills your belly like a balloon, then lets the air out of the balloon. It only takes a moment.

Take a deep breath- through your nose if possible- and let it out slowly. You can even try the trick my meditation teacher taught me called the “mindsweep.” When someone has entered your space and left a bad feeling…

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Popular Psychology

Human Rights Violations, Psychological Damage and Caster Semenya

13 Aug 201213 Aug 2012by Torey C. Richards, LMHC3 Comments

Most of us know Mokgadi Caster Semenya as the South African middle-distance runner who’s gender came into question after she blew away her competition during the women’s 800 meters at the 2009 World Championships with a then world record time of 1:55.45.

I remember when her gender came into question first in the media, then among my peers who insisted due to Semenya’s masculine appearance, voice and astonishing athletic feats, that she had to be a man, or at the minimum, not all woman.

The International Associate of Athletics Federation (IAAF) reported that they had to investigate Semenya after she made improvements in both her 800 and 1500 meter times by 8 seconds and 25 seconds respectfully, improvements in performance that usually arouse suspicions of performance enhancement drugs (PEDs) use. At this time, the IAAF also tricked Semenya and performed a gender test without her permission, something she confirmed during an interview with NBC before her Olympic race in London. Semenya stated that she knew she was being tested for PEDs, something she was used to, but didn’t know she was going through a gender test until the testing became more of a violation, poking and probing in areas she knew weren’t part of any PEDs test she had ever been through.

If this is true, which various sources confirm, it is a violation of her human rights. Furthermore, she had to seek the legal services of Dewey & LeBoeuf who are acting pro bono to make sure her legal, human and civil rights will not be further violated.

After more gender tests and speculation over her eligibility to compete as a woman, the IAAF finally cleared her in July 2010 to return to competition as a woman and has yet to release their findings from her gender tests. Since her medical records are private, it may never be known if much of the embarrassment and scrutiny Semenya was subjected to was all for nothing, but one would suspect that if the IAAF had enough evidence to suggest Semenya wasn’t “technically” a woman, they would have released it.

I have to imagine that this young lady, at the time this all began she was only 18, suffered imaginable psychological damages having the world not only question who she was as a person, but to be examined like an animal with the world waiting for the results.

Since returning to international racing Semenya hasn’t been her self. During her 800 race in the London Olympics she got silver after trailing most of the race and only running hard towards the end to secure a second place finish. Many commentators, sport analyst and spectators commented that Semenya seemed to lose the race on purpose, saying that she didn’t seem tired after the race, much like she had in an earlier international race where she got a silver. If this is true, it is sad, but can you see why someone who previously fell under world scrutiny after finishing first, would purposely opt out of being in that position again.

In an interview after the race, Semenya stated that her head just wasn’t into it. This is the Olympics, what professional athlete’s head is not into their Olympic event? Maybe one who had her human rights violated and was kept out of competition while the IAAF tried to verify her gender which indeed caused an untold amount of psychological damage.

In that same interview with NBC, Semenya asked the interviewer, Mary Carillo how she would feel if she was subjected to the same scrutiny while the world watched through a microscope and the interviewer had no response. Semenya stated “you might even think about taking a suicide” which to me suggests at some point, Semenya did indeed think about committing suicide. I am so glad that she was strong enough, confident enough and resilient enough to overcome that destructive and irreversible thought. Now if only her psychological damages can be healed enough where she can feel free to race at her best and win without fear of once against being cast into the world spotlight for anything other than being one of the best women 800 meters runners ever.

Popular Psychology

How to Resuscitate Your Life

30 Jul 2012by Torey C. Richards, LMHCLeave a Comment

The other day as I was sitting in a CPR recertification class, I couldn’t help but to think how could I apply the principles of CPR to my daily life.

Compressions

In the CPR recertification class we were taught that compressions are the most important part of CPR, keeping the blood flowing through the body. That got me to thinking that when it comes to resuscitating your life, perhaps the most important thing is to find, or rediscover the things you love and actually do them.

Many of us have hobbies or things we love to do, yet often allow the stressors of daily life to rob us of those joys and before we know it, it’s been weeks, months and sometimes even years since we’ve done those very things we claim to love. As a result we often find ourselves feeling drained, burnt out and unhappy as our time is spent more and more with obligations and less and less with the things that actually make us excited about life. This leads many of us to feel like we have lost a part of ourselves and sometimes don’t even know who we are because the real us has been smothered by this other person who doesn’t have time to do the things that actually make our hearts beat with joy.

Breathing

The second part of CPR is breathing, and I take that to mean breathing life back into yourself. Sometimes it’s easy to just come home from work and do nothing because we are tired and before we know it, a whole year has passed by without us accomplishing many of our goals or developing our personal lives the way we would have wanted to. We have to find motivation and inspiration to actually live life, be active participates in life and not just participate in it passively. What is it you need to do to breath life back into yourself? Maybe it’s getting up and going for a walk instead of taking a nap, or calling a friend instead of texting. Maybe it’s registering for a class you’ve always wanted to take, but never find the time or motivation to actually do it. Our maybe it’s surrounding yourself with people you know will help breath life back into you.

AED

Lastly, if all else fails in CPR, an Automatic External Defibrillator may be required to try to shock the person back into life. Do you need a jolt? Do you need to jump in head first in order to get past your initially trepidation? I know a friend who was afraid of heights and he signed up to sky dive as a way to overcome his fear. I’m not suggestion something so drastic, but what I am suggesting is that you push yourself out of your comfort zone if you know the reward for that is worth it. I know overweight people who are afraid to join gyms because they think people will look at them. Truth is, most people in a gym could care less and will actually compliment them when they start seeing results. They could find encouragement there, make friends, find motivation, but they can’t get over that initial fear enough to even step foot into the gym. Do you need to push yourself through that door, step into that uncomfortableness, recognize and accept that you feel uncomfortable, but know that it will pass and you will be a better person because of it?

Here is a very short list of suggestions, I would like to hear more from you and you can always create your own personalized list. Now, go out and reclaim your life!

Eat some chocolate
Go for a walk
Take a three minute breathing space
Do something pleasureable
Meditate
Be mindful of yourself and surroundings (mindfulness is something we will talk about in another post)
Keep a gratitude journal
Go to a movie
Go for a walk
Call an old friend

Popular Psychology

What Your Dreams Are Trying to Tell You

6 Jul 2012by Torey C. Richards, LMHC2 Comments

The other day a client came to me with anxiety over the dreams she had been having lately. They were unpleasant dreams about family members, both deceased and alive and left her scared to go to sleep each night. That got me to thinking more about dreams and what they are trying to tell us. I am not a dream analysis, but I will share what I believe and what I know from personal experience and from others experience.

Your Dreams are Trying to Tell You Something?

I truly believe that most of our dreams are not only trying to tell us something from our unconscious, but that they are actually trying to help us understand something. They are also often related to something that happened during the day. Perhaps an unpleasant interaction we had with someone and didn’t really give it much conscious thought, but our subconscious held on to it for whatever reason. As a matter of fact, unresolved issues, feelings and situations play a major part in our dreams. If you are angry with someone and haven’t dealt with it, that anger and those thoughts can find their way into your dreams and play themselves out.

Also certain things like smells or sounds can trigger things in our subconscious that play out during our dreams. Maybe you smelled a hint of a fragrance that reminded you of an old flame and you didn’t give it a second of conscious thought, but later that night you find yourself dreaming about him or her.

The bad part is that our dreams are often complicated, fuzzy or confusing which makes it hard to analyze some of them, but the feeling you have when you wake up from a dream is usually the key to understanding what the dream is trying to tell you and help you with. Did you wake up angry, sad, scared? That is usually the key to what the dream is trying to show and help you with.

Also, something I learned in a graduate school is that many dream analyst believe that EVERYTHING in the dream is YOU. They believe that if you dream about a dog getting hit by a car it was running away from, that it could mean you are afraid of something within yourself and are trying to run away from it. Interesting isn’t it?

Even bad and scary dreams are trying to help us understand or show us something. Lucky some dreams aren’t confusing and are quite easy to understand. Because dreams can be so fleeting and eluding, it is a good idea to keep a dream journal next to your bed so that you can capture those dreams while they are fresh and analyze them later.

Emotional Detachment

27 Jun 2012by Torey C. Richards, LMHC2 Comments

I was speaking with a friend of mine today who is also a fellow counselor when we got on the subject of emotional detachment. It wasn’t until then that I had a sort of “aha moment” and realized that even just the word detachment gives me an ill feeling and saying it feels like I am saying a four letter word.

See, I have an issue with detachment, it’s one of my flaws. I often hold onto people (and things) far too long out of fear of letting go, even when letting go and detaching is exactly what’s needed to free myself and the other person.

I know from my clinical work that many other people also suffer from detaching from bad relationships, bad friends, bad family members and bad situations for many of the same reasons I do. Some people I’ve counseled are so attached to toxic relationships that they can never truly realize their potential if they don’t learn to detach. What ends up happening for me and countless others who stay in situations/relationships that they should have let go is a build up of resentment, anger, and often times decreased self-esteem and self-efficacy.

Detaching can be hard and confusing because there isn’t always a right or wrong time to do it. If we detach from a person too soon we may feel like we didn’t try hard enough to make it work or that we gave up too easily. There is often unclear lines between not trying enough and trying too hard. And sometimes there are control issues at play. We don’t detach from a person or situation because we are trying to control that person or situation. For example, a woman may have a hard time detaching from an abusive husband because she really loves him, thinks that if he just calmed down and quit drinking he’d be an awesome person, so she stays in that volatile situation trying to change/control him although detaching from him would serve her better. A man may stay with a cheating wife who disrespects him over and over because he thinks he can “make her” love him and only him.

And then there are people who detach too easily, never allowing themselves or others the opportunity to nurture relationships and situations. You have to be listen to your heart and know when it’s time to let go, even if letting go is the last thing you want to do.

Detachment to me often times feels wrong even when it’s right and that is something I have to work on. It makes me stay in bad relationships and friendships far too long thinking that detachment is betrayal and telling someone “I don’t care about you any more”. In reality, detachment is a form of self-care and we all need to know how to care of ourselves and be responsible for ourselves and let other people be responsible for themselves. Detachment is also a form of setting healthy boundaries and not allowing others to take advantage or hurt us and vice-versa.

Detachment is not a bad word or a bad thing to do when it becomes apparent that it is what’s needed. Detachment doesn’t mean that you don’t care about the other person, but that you do care enough about yourself that you won’t allow yourself to keep getting hurt, used or neglected, and that you care enough about the other person to let them go. Sometimes we have to detach ourselves from people we like or even love. Setting yourself and setting someone else free is sometimes the best gift you can give to yourself and that person.

Detachment is easier from some than for others. If you want more information on detachment and letting go, check out The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie. It is one of my favorite books.