Tag: holiday

Popular Psychology

Navigating the Festive Frenzy: Strategies to Manage Holiday Stress

by Torey C. Richards, LMHCLeave a Comment on Navigating the Festive Frenzy: Strategies to Manage Holiday Stress
Navigating the Festive Frenzy: Strategies to Manage Holiday Stress

The holiday season, with its twinkling lights and merry melodies, often brings a mix of joy and stress. As a licensed mental health counselor and a father, I’ve seen and experienced the various shades of the holiday season. While it’s a time for celebration and family, it also comes with its unique set of pressures: financial constraints, family dynamics, and a seemingly endless to-do list. Here are some strategies to help you manage holiday stress and savor the joy of the season.

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

First and foremost, it’s important to acknowledge your feelings. It’s okay if you’re not brimming with holiday cheer. The holidays can evoke a range of emotions, and it’s normal to feel overwhelmed, sad, or stressed. Recognizing and accepting these feelings is the first step in managing them.

2. Set Realistic Expectations

The portrayal of the holiday season in media and culture often sets an unrealistic standard of perfection. It’s crucial to set realistic expectations for yourself and your celebrations. Not everything has to be perfect, and it’s okay to scale back on decorations, gifts, or events. Remember, the holiday spirit isn’t about grandeur, but about warmth and connection.

3. Plan and Prioritize

Planning can significantly reduce stress. Make a list of what you need to do and categorize them by priority. This could include shopping, cooking, and attending events. Don’t hesitate to trim down your list by removing less important tasks or delegating them.

4. Set a Budget

Financial stress is a major aspect of holiday anxiety. To avoid this, set a budget for gifts, food, and other expenses. Be honest about what you can afford, and stick to your budget. Remember, meaningful gifts don’t have to be expensive; often, it’s the thought that counts.

5. Learn to Say No

You don’t have to participate in every activity or event. Overcommitting can lead to burnout. It’s okay to say no to certain invitations or responsibilities. Your well-being is paramount, and those who care about you will understand your need to prioritize it.

6. Maintain Healthy Habits

In the whirlwind of the season, it’s easy to let go of healthy habits. Try to maintain your regular routine, including eating healthily, exercising, and getting enough sleep. Physical well-being greatly influences mental health.

7. Take a Breather

When you start to feel overwhelmed, take a break. Even a few minutes of solitude can be refreshing. Practice deep breathing, meditation, or a quick walk outside. This brief respite can reset your stress levels and help you approach tasks with a clearer mind.

8. Connect Meaningfully

The essence of the holiday season is connection. Spend quality time with your loved ones, engage in meaningful conversations, and create lasting memories. In a season that can become materialistic, remind yourself and others that the best gift is quality time spent together.

9. Seek Professional Help if Needed

If you find yourself feeling persistently sad, anxious, irritable, or hopeless, consider seeking help from a mental health professional. There’s no shame in seeking support, especially during times that can amplify underlying issues.

10. Reflect and Appreciate

Finally, take some time to reflect on the year gone by. Acknowledge your achievements and the challenges you’ve overcome. Practice gratitude for the big and small blessings in your life. This positive reflection can shift your perspective and reduce stress.

The holiday season doesn’t have to be a time of overwhelming stress. By acknowledging your feelings, setting realistic expectations, and practicing self-care, you can navigate the festive frenzy with more ease and joy. Remember, the true essence of the season lies in the warmth of relationships and the joy of simple pleasures. May your holidays be filled with peace, love, and happiness.

!

Popular Psychology

Why Do Some People Find It Hard To Receive Gifts?

by Torey C. Richards, LMHC16 Comments on Why Do Some People Find It Hard To Receive Gifts?

istock_000011997208xsmallThe other day at work I decided to do a random act of kindness by buying one of my employees lunch. This is not unusual for me as I will often buy my employees things like coffee or sandwhiches, but what was unusual was her reaction.

While most of my employees will offer to pay, when I tell them, “no, I got it”, they generally just accept whatever it is I am offering them. However, this particular employee immediately fell into what I would almost call a panic. She insisted that I take her money, even when I refused. Her face turned red, her eyes got watery and she begged me to take her money.

My response to her was simple. I told her that we all do nice things for other people and sometimes it’s okay to allow other people to do nice things for us.

As soon as I said that, I realized that I too often have trouble accepting gifts and acts of kindness from other people. I am a giver by nature. I think I inherited that from my mother and sisters. I love to give and the joy that comes with giving, yet it is very awkward and sometimes difficult for me to allow others to gift me in the same way I love to gift other people.

I remember when I was in graduate school I paid for a lady who was standing in line behind me without her knowing it. We didn’t know each other, and by the time she realized I had paid for her lunch I was already headed towards the door. She turned around and said “thank you” and paused for awhile as if she assumed I wanted something from her (i.e., her name, her number, conversation, etc.) but I didn’t. I simply  smiled and walked out of the door.

However, some people, like the employee I mentioned above, would have had a very hard time accepting that random act of kindness.

With the holiday season right around the corner, this is a great time to explore why is it that some people find it hard to accept gifts.

Not Wanting The Attention

Some people feel awkward about the attention that comes along with receiving a gift. Often they feel like the spotlight is on them, even if no one else is around and may be embarrassed. I think in the case I mentioned above, this was largely a factor. I offered to pay for her meal in front of several other people, all of who I had paid for their meals before so they didn’t see a big deal about it, but to the other person, she may have felt like she was put in the spotlight and didn’t want to be.

I think what goes along with this is, some people are used to everything having a catch to it and believe that people don’t do random acts of kindness without wanting something in return. Perhaps she thought by accepting my gift I would either ask for a favor or she would feel as if she owed me one, which defeats the whole purpose of a random act of kindness.

Not Feeling Like They Are Deserving of The Gift

Some people have self-esteem issues or aren’t used to people doing anything nice for them so they will reject any gift. They may feel like they haven’t done anything to deserve the gift, even if the person giving the gift feels otherwise. The more expensive or thoughtful the gift is, the more likely it is that someone will think that they aren’t worth it. They will feel uncomfortable and even overwhelmed.

Conditioning

Some people have been conditioned to feel a certain way about receiving gifts. For example, someone who grew up with their family giving them everything they could and were made to feel guilty about excepting things from other people, may grow into adults who find it hard to accept gifts. Women in particular who are raised to give and take care of other people, but not themelves, may find it hard to allow other people to do nice things for them.

Allowing Yourself To Receive Gifts

People who give gifts generally do so because the act of giving makes them happy. They put forth a lot of effort and enjoy the whole process of choosing (or making) a gift and giving it to you. You didn’t ask them to do this, but it is their way of showing kindess, appreciation and/or love and all you have to do is allow yourself to be part of the process by enjoying receiving the gift. It’s a beautiful process and you can do the same if you choose, or simply be thankful that someone thought enough about you to give you a gift, whatever it is.

When people have a hard time receiving gifts, they often also have a hard time allowing other people to nurture them, be there for them or even love them. You can practice receiving physical gifts by starting to allow yourself to be nurtured. Allow people to listen to you when you need to talk, to hold you when you need to be held, to support you when you need support. Allow people to encourage you when you need encouragement and to be there for you emotionally when you need that too.

Many people who have trouble receiving gifts have either focused too much on other people or have shut off the parts of themselves that need nurturing by telling themelves they don’t need it. Identifying what your needs are and how you would like others to support and care for you in ways that feel good, will open us up to being able to receive not only physical gifts, but gifts that go far beyond physical. It will allow us to not only nuture other people, but to allow ourselves to be nutured when needed.