Big Dick Energy

Big Dick Energy

Big Dick Energy (BDE) as the Urban Dictionary defines it is having confidence without cockiness. It apparently originated from Arianna Grande’s deleted tweet which stated that her fiancé has a 10-inch penis and the confidence that goes along with knowing you have a big penis.

Fortunately for most of us who do not have a 10-inch penis, having BDE has nothing to do with penis size or even having a penis at all. The beauty about BDE is that anyone can have it, male or female and practice having it if they don’t already. You can create the kind of BDE that draws people to you and makes them wonder why you have so much confidence. That’s part of the allure of BDE. People don’t know why you are so confident because you’re not cocky. They may make assumptions such as, he must have a big penis or she must be have a ton of money… they have no real idea.

BDE is a quiet confidence in the way you feel and project yourself to the world that others will notice and more importantly, you yourself will begin to feel and believe in.  You don’t need anyone else’s approval to feel good about yourself. Who cares if the people at the party will like you, or note, what’s more important is will you like them?

Having BDE is an aura or a vibe that any man or woman can have. Sometimes being with a certain person can give you BDE or being in touch with who you really are can make you walk with the confidence of a person with BDE.

If you look up BDE on the internet, you will find all kinds of comparisons of celebrities to who has  BDE and who doesn’t, but who cares! Yes, BDE is this new pop culture thing, but really it’s based on old psychology and confidence. What’s more important that if Justin Bieber has BDE or not is that you can create BDE for yourself and use it to boost your confidence at parties, in meetings, at work, in life in general!

For example, there used to be a time when I felt nervous in certain situations, especially at work in big meetings. Before I even heard about BDE, I would start thinking about some of my favorite Mixed Martial Artist, someone like Jon Jones who yes, may be seen as a cocky a-hole, but besides that, he’s the type of guy that exudes confidence.


I imagined if he was in my shoes, how would he carry himself? Would he be shy? Would he not speak his mind? Hell no, Jon Jones has that BDE! So I pretended I had that same confidence and it positively impacted my work and productivity. Of course I am not Jon Jones. I don’t look like him, I can’t fight like him and I don’t have his money, but that doesn’t mean I can’t borrow from his confidence and use it for my good.

BDE is about having an air of confidence and sometimes you have to fake it to you make it. The people around you won’t know any better and soon you’ll start feeling and believing in your BDE too. That BDE will push you out of your comfort zone and you’ll be surprised at all the places it will take you, at all the places you’ve been holding yourself back from. It can help you talk to that person, land that job, or conquer that goal!

Tips for College Freshmen

istock_000004524452small-520x487It’s that time of the year again when students of all ages are headed back to class, but for college freshmen, this time of year can be full of excitement and loads of anxiety that can send them packing back home or spinning into a dangerous cycle of poor choices.

A few of the high school clients I worked with last year are feeling this same since of angst so I wanted to share some of what I have shared with them about creating an environment for success their freshmen year of college.

Live Like a Broke College Student

Sometimes when students go off to college they forget that they may not have the constant source of income they had while they were home, and yet there is more things that they want to do that cost more money.

College is expensive. Take advantages of free things, there are usually a lot of free things on campus from food to clothing.

Students have to learn how to live with less funds which means learning how to budget, given up some of their favorite meals or even activities. They will have to learn how to survive with less, which is a challenge, but it can be fun and creative. College student are notorious for coming up with inexpensive and free ways to have fun and that is something that should be embraced if you don’t want the lack of finances to be an added source of stress.

Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Anything, Especially Help

A lot of times college is the first time young people are given total responsibility over themselves and many don’t know how to handle it. They think being an adult means you don’t have to ask for help, but that is where they get into trouble.

In college, you are treated like an adult. No one is going to remind you to read assignments, or to work on your paper, or to study. It’s up to you, so students need to learn to ask for help by being proactive in their relationships with their professors and not just thinking that the professor will let them know if they are not doing well in a particular course.

Building a support system is also crucial so that you have people you can turn to for advice, support and encouragement. A good support network should include upperclassmen, a professor they trust and look up to, as well as any administrators they feel they can turn to for advice or guidance.

Also, being part of a support group is extra helpful for students who need extra support or counseling, which is generally free on most college campuses. Asking for help is not about appearing weak, it’s about preparing for success.

Get Involved

When I speak to the college freshmen who are having the most difficult times adjusting, nearly all of them have done nothing to actually get involved or to get engaged on campus. It’s important to be open minded to both new experiences and people. Making real connections is one of the best ways to feel like you are apart of the college environment.

Many of the young people I work with who are college freshman come from the inner-city and sometimes feel out of place on college campuses where the majority of the student body doesn’t look like them. I always encourage them to join multicultural clubs and student support services in order to help them adjust and begin to engage with the entire student body.

At the same time, I let them know that it’s okay to take time to adjust and for them to not feel so overwhelmed if after a week or two they still don’t feel quite comfortable. The thing is, I want them to avoid feeling lonely which can lead to numerous issues including isolation, depression, poor grades and even dropping out of school.

Time Management

It’s good for college students to have some routine and a schedule that they can follow, but not a schedule that is so rigid that it doesn’t leave room for fun and other activities. Having a schedule such as when to study, when to workout, etc., can bring some order to a time that may appear chaotic.

This includes making time to take classes that they can manage and also allowing themseves to take a couple of fun classes like yoga or basketball, after all, it may be the last time they can take fun classes before they get into the really heavy stuff.

The first year of college is filled with lots of sometimes contradicting emotions, but being prepared to face those challenges will make it that much more exciting and fulfilling as well as prepared to accomplish all of their personal, social and academic goals.