Locked In: Why More Young People Are Choosing Hyper-Focus + How to Do It in a Healthy Way

17 Sep 2025by Torey C. Richards, LMHCLeave a Comment

“Locking in” (or being “locked in”) has become one of the buzziest phrases among Gen Z and younger Millennials. It’s about more than just staying busy—it means dedicating yourself to a goal with near-military focus, cutting out distractions, and aligning your habits with what you want to build or become. Newsweek+4Refinery29+4The Guardian+4

If you’ve seen motivational TikToks, to-do list montages, or people deleting apps, resisting social plans, or meal prepping like their future depends on it—it’s probably because they’re trying to lock in. Let’s dig into what’s behind the trend, why it’s appealing, some of its darker sides, and how you can try it out without burning out.

What Is “Locking In”?

Origins & evolution: The phrase appeared in gaming and sports circles first. As an athlete and sports fan I have been familiar with the phrase for a very long time. “Locked in” meant being super focused during a match, practice, or competition. Reddit+2The Guardian+2 Over time, it has shifted to broader usage. Goals related to work, fitness, finances, academics. The Times+3Refinery29+3The Guardian+3
What people are doing: Routines with structure, early alarms, limiting time on phone or social media, meal preps, working on side hustles, studying harder, investing, saving money, etc. Refinery29+2The Washington Post+2
Why now: Part of a shift away from “soft life” aesthetics (rest, comfort, peace) toward “hustle with purpose.” Economic stress, uncertainty, comparisons on social media, and a sense that waiting isn’t enough all feed into it. Refinery29+2The Guardian+2

Why It’s Attractive

Locking in holds appeal because it promises:

Agency: When things feel chaotic or out of control, it feels good to take back control, structure, and direction.
Motivation & momentum: Having a declared goal, public accountability, and a routine helps build momentum and can make progress visible.
Purpose & clarity: It pushes you to clarify priorities, what’s important, what to cut out, what to protect.
Feeling ahead: There’s this sense of “if I lock in now, I’ll be better prepared later” which feels satisfying psychologically. Yahoo+1

Risks & Pitfalls

But as with many intense trends or lifestyle shifts, there are trade-offs. Some things to watch out for:

Burnout: All discipline and no rest often leads to exhaustion. People may push too hard for too long. Refinery29+2The Guardian+2
Rigidity & guilt: When you miss a goal, skip a workout, or need rest, guilt kicks in. The trend can cultivate shame around rest or “off days.”
Comparisons & performance pressure: Social media amplifies curated lives; seeing someone else “lock in” all out can make people feel they aren’t doing enough.
Loss of balance: Sacrificing relationships, spontaneous joy, relaxation for the sake of productivity can degrade wellbeing in other areas.

How to Use “Locking In” Mindfully

If you want to try this trend without letting it dominate or harm your mental health, here are some suggestions:

Set realistic goals
Start with smaller, achievable targets. Break big goals into parts. Don’t try to overhaul everything overnight.
Include rest & joy
Block in time for fun, connection, and rest. Rest isn’t optional; it’s part of sustainable performance.
Make accountability work for you, not against you
Share goals with someone you trust. But don’t let external judgment become your main driver.
Check in with your why
Ask: “Why is this goal important to me?” If the answer starts to feel like “because everyone else is doing it” rather than something meaningful, you might need to adjust.
Adapt & adjust
If something feels toxic, unsustainable, or harming other areas of your life (relationships, health, mental clarity), pivot. Flexibility builds resilience, too.
Celebrate progress
Mark wins, big or small. The process matters, not just the outcome.

Final Thoughts

“Locking in” can be powerful. It’s a collective reawakening of discipline, purpose, and intentional living, especially in times when distraction is easy, and external pressures are high. But strength doesn’t come from endless structure alone. True resilience comes when we combine focus with meaning, rest, connection, and kindness—for ourselves.

So if you’re thinking about locking in: Go ahead. Just make sure you’re doing so in a way that builds you up, rather than wearing you down. Because locking into life should add life, not subtract from it.

Taking Control of Your LIfe

30 Creative Ways to Care for Your Mental Health

4 Sep 2025by Torey C. Richards, LMHCLeave a Comment

Resilience isn’t about never breaking. It’s about learning how to piece yourself back together in new and meaningful ways. Sometimes the best medicine for the mind is a spark of creativity. Here are 30 habits you can try, each designed to help you process stress, build confidence, and rediscover joy.

1. Reframe the Story

Instead of “I failed,” try “This was a plot twist that will shape my growth.” Research on cognitive reframing shows it reduces anxiety and fosters resilience.

2. Journal in Metaphors

Describe your day as a storm, a song, or a painting. Metaphors activate creative brain regions, making it easier to process tough emotions.

3. Build a Resilience Playlist

Music therapy studies show that songs tied to positive memory can quickly boost mood. Create a playlist that grounds and uplifts you.

4. Doodle Your Stress

Scribbles, shapes, and sketches can release tension. Neuroscience confirms that drawing reduces cortisol and slows heart rate. You don’t have to be an artist to do this. We are striving for relaxation, not perfection!

5. Take a Wonder Walk

Notice five things you’ve never seen before in a familiar space. This practice sparks awe, which is linked to lower inflammation and greater well-being.

6. Create a Safe Space Corner

A chair, blanket, candle, or plant can become a ritual space for calm. Environmental cues signal the body to shift into rest mode.

7. Write to Your Future Self

Pen a letter from the “you” who already made it through. This technique builds hope and perspective.

8. Turn Pain Into Poetry

Even raw, imperfect lines give language to feelings that otherwise stay trapped. Poetry has been shown to support emotional regulation.

9. Move With Music

Dance or sway freely. Movement plus rhythm lowers stress hormones and stimulates endorphins.

10. Collect Symbols of Strength

Carry a stone, coin, or photo that reminds you of endurance. These small anchors create psychological safety.

11. Sketch Your Problem

Imagine your stress as a cartoon character and exaggerate it. Humor and art reduce its power.

12. Practice Micro-Kindness

Leave a sticky note of encouragement for someone. Altruism improves mood and lowers depression risk.

13. Change Your Scenery

A simple shift: working in sunlight, moving your desk, refreshes perspective and motivation.

14. Use Colors for Emotions

Assign a color to sadness, joy, or anger. Express it through paint, collage, or clothing choice.

15. Tell Your Story Out Loud

Sharing experiences with trusted listeners validates feelings and prevents isolation.

16. Rewrite Your Ending

When painful memories replay, imagine a new outcome where you stand strong. Visualization rewires emotional memory.

17. Plant Something

Watching a seed grow offers proof that small actions create change. Gardening is linked to lower depression and higher life satisfaction.

18. Cook a New Recipe

Trying new flavors engages the senses and builds confidence through mastery.

19. Make a Ritual

Light a candle before journaling, stretch before bed, or sip tea before work. Rituals signal the brain that it’s safe to rest or focus.

20. Visualize a Mentor

Imagine advice from a supportive figure, real or imagined. Guided imagery boosts confidence and decision-making.

21. Sing in the Shower

Singing stimulates the vagus nerve, calming the body’s stress response.

22. Try Mindful Photography

Capture textures, patterns, or shadows. Mindful photography builds presence and reduces ruminative thinking.

23. Write a Gratitude Collage

Collect images or words that remind you what still sustains you. Gratitude practices improve sleep and optimism.

24. Celebrate Small Wins

Draw a star on your calendar or treat yourself when you accomplish a step. This fuels motivation through dopamine release.

25. Ask: “If I Couldn’t Fail…”

Creative problem-solving opens new paths. Research shows this mindset reduces learned helplessness.

26. Use Music as Medicine

Match your playlist to your current mood, then shift gradually upward to influence emotional state.

27. Build a Comfort Toolkit

A box with grounding items such as a journal, tea, photos, affirmations, creates instant support on hard days.

28. Tell Stories With Humor

Laugh with a friend about small struggles. Humor strengthens resilience and social connection.

29. Practice Awe Journaling

Write down one moment of awe each day: the sky, a kind gesture, a child’s laugh. Awe increases humility and well-being.

30. Express Gratitude Creatively

Write a thank-you letter in rhyme or record a voice message. Creative gratitude deepens its impact.

Popular Psychology

The Psychology of Summer Sadness: Why Some People Feel Low in the Sun

30 Jul 2025by Torey C. Richards, LMHCLeave a Comment

When most people think of seasonal depression, they picture winter: grey skies, cold weather, short days, what’s often known was “The Winter Blues”. But what if you find yourself feeling off when the sun is shining, cookouts are happening, and everyone else seems to be living their best life?

You’re not alone and it’s more common than most people think.

What Is Summer-Onset Seasonal Affective Disorder?

Most of us have heard of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), typically linked to winter. But there’s also a lesser-known subtype called summer-onset SAD, sometimes nicknamed reverse SAD. Instead of feeling low during the darker months, individuals with summer SAD may experience:

Irritability
Anxiety
Restlessness
Trouble sleeping
Loss of appetite
Feeling emotionally disconnected from others

And here’s the thing: they often feel guilty for not enjoying what everyone else seems to be celebrating.

Why Summer Can Trigger Emotional Distress

There’s no single cause, but a few theories offer insight:

Disrupted Routines: Summer often means changes in structure. Kids out of school, vacations, longer daylight hours. For some people, especially those managing mental health conditions, lack of routine can feel destabilizing.
Sleep Interruption: More sunlight means longer days and for many, less restful sleep. That can throw off mood-regulating chemicals like serotonin and melatonin. Some people are very sensitive to even the slightest off balance of these chemicals.
Body Image Pressure: The cultural emphasis on “summer bodies” can trigger shame and self-criticism, particularly for those already struggling with self-esteem. They may feel uncomfortable hitting the pool or the beach if they feel like they don’t have a “beach bod”.
Social Comparison: Social media feeds are flooded with vacations, beach days, and barbecues. If you’re dealing with depression, grief, loneliness, or financial hardship, these images can intensify feelings of disconnection. It may appear as if everyone else is out living their best life while you’re not.
Heat Sensitivity: Believe it or not, excessive heat can actually impact mood and cognition. Some studies suggest it may exacerbate symptoms of anxiety and depression, especially in those already vulnerable. I live in Florida and during the summer, the heat and humidity on the hottest days can feel suffocating, oppressive and downright disrespectful.

What You Can Do If You’re Feeling Low This Summer

Name It Without Shame
You don’t have to justify your emotions. Just because it’s sunny outside doesn’t mean you’re obligated to feel good. Naming what you’re experiencing is the first step toward healing.
Stick to a Grounding Routine
Try to wake, eat, move, and wind down at consistent times, even if your schedule feels “off.” Your nervous system craves rhythm.
Limit the Scroll
If social media is making you feel worse, take a break. Curate your feed with intention. Mute or unfollow accounts that trigger shame or comparison.
Create Cool Spaces
Make your home a haven. Keep your bedroom cool and dark at night, take cool showers, and find shade when outside. A comfortable body helps support a regulated mind.
Talk to a Therapist
You don’t need to wait for things to get worse. If you notice a pattern of seasonal sadness or just feel like you’re carrying more than you can manage, reaching out for support is a powerful act of self-care.

You’re Not Broken, You’re Human

If you feel low during the summer months, it doesn’t mean you’re broken or ungrateful, it means you’re real. Emotions don’t always follow the weather. And healing doesn’t happen on a seasonal schedule.

Let this post be your permission slip to honor your inner climate, no matter what’s happening outside.

Bonus Resource:

Want help creating a simple, supportive summer routine?
Check out my free Summer Mood Tracker and Daily Grounding Checklist .

Popular Psychology, Uncategorized

Behind the Masks: How Immigration Crackdowns Shatter Mental Well-Being

12 Jun 2025by Torey C. Richards, LMHCLeave a Comment

Across the country, images of ICE agents detaining families flash across our screens and the images of protests in cities like Los Angeles and Baltimore echo through city streets. I’m not here to get into politics or views on immigration reform. I’m here to discuss one critical story that remains hidden: the quiet, unseen impact of immigration enforcement on mental health.

While political debates rage on and policies tighten, countless immigrants, documented and undocumented alike, live in a state of chronic stress. For many, every knock on the door triggers a spike in heart rate. Every siren in the distance evokes a rush of panic. Children go to school wondering if their parents will still be home when they return. Adults skip medical appointments out of fear. Entire communities fall silent.

This isn’t just fear. It’s trauma.

Clinically, we know that chronic anxiety, hypervigilance, and a lack of safety are precursors to more serious mental health issues like generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, PTSD, and even somatic symptoms like chronic pain and gastrointestinal distress. The emotional toll doesn’t just affect the individuals targeted by enforcement, it ripples outward, impacting families, classrooms, and entire neighborhoods.

I work in a level one trauma center and have seen first hand the ear on immigrant patient faces that instead of living the hospital better, they will leave in handcuffs or zip tied on their way to a deportation facility. I know someone in the process of getting his green card who works at a prestigious company, but is so anxious that he or someone in his family will be deported that he temporarily stopped driving his car to limit the risk of him being stopped by law enforcement and possibly detained. As much as he loves America, he has considered moving to Canada for his own mental health. I know other professionals, some who are even citizens, but are so disturbed by the way immigration is being enforced that they are actively looking into leaving the country.

For mental health professionals, the challenge becomes how to provide support in a context where clients may not feel safe enough to seek help. Therapists working with immigrant populations often have to do more than just offer counseling; they become advocates, educators, and sometimes the only place where someone feels human again.

You don’t have to protest to make a difference. So what can we do?

First, we must listen. We must create safe spaces where individuals feel seen and heard without judgment or risk. Second, we must acknowledge that systemic stress is a real form of trauma. And third, we must advocate. Mental health care must be part of the conversation in immigration reform.

This is more than just a news headline. Lives are getting ripped apart when they are just trying to survive, to raise their family, and to breathe without fear.

We see the images. We hear the stories. Not the ones of the criminals who don’t deserve to be here, but the ones of the families just want to have the opportunity to make it in America. For them, we need to address the silent suffering, and provide support that’s not just reactive, but proactive.

Mental health is a human right. And no one, regardless of status, should be left behind.

Popular Psychology

AI: Its Impact on Mental Health

4 May 2025by Torey C. Richards, LMHCLeave a Comment

Artificial intelligence (AI) has gone from a futuristic concept to being a part of our everyday lives. From Siri to self-driving cars, AI is reshaping how we interact with the world. One area that’s seeing rapid AI integration is mental health.

AI is revolutionizing how mental health support is delivered, but it also has the potential to change the way we experience our emotions, relationships, and even our sense of self. So, what’s the real impact of AI on mental health

Positive Impacts of AI on Mental Health

1. AI-Driven Therapy Apps: Accessibility and Immediate Support
One of the biggest breakthroughs in mental health care has been the development of AI-driven therapy apps. Apps like Woebot, Wysa, and Replika use AI to provide users with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), emotional support, and mental wellness guidance. These apps can be used 24/7, offering instant support when someone feels overwhelmed or anxious.

For individuals who may not have access to in-person therapy due to financial constraints, geographic limitations, or the stigma of seeking mental health care, these AI tools are a game-changer. However, it’s important to remember that while AI can provide immediate relief, it doesn’t replace the nuanced, empathetic care provided by a human therapist.

2. Personalized Mental Health Tools: Custom-Tailored Support
Another exciting development is the use of AI to create personalized mental health strategies. By analyzing data such as sleep patterns, mood tracking, and even activity levels, AI can offer individualized wellness plans. For example, AI can recommend mindfulness exercises, cognitive reframing techniques, or journaling prompts based on a person’s emotional state or behavior patterns.

These tools can empower people to take control of their mental health and tailor their self-care routines to their unique needs. It’s a more proactive approach, putting users in the driver’s seat of their emotional well-being.

Honestly, this is one of the major way I have been using AI, as sort of a life coach or motivational coach when I need a little nudge to get me out of my head and for this, I think AI can be invaluable.

3. Early Detection and Improved Diagnostics
AI is also improving mental health diagnostics. For instance, machine learning algorithms are being used to analyze speech patterns, facial expressions, and even physiological responses to detect early signs of mental health issues like depression, anxiety, and PTSD. This early detection can be important in providing timely interventions before issues escalate.

In clinical settings, AI tools are being used to assist professionals in identifying patterns that may otherwise go unnoticed, helping to catch problems earlier and potentially save lives.

I sometimes use AI to help me differentiate between different diagnosis or to help me come up with an improved treatment plan for a patient. It’s not always perfect, but it usually will at least help me generate some new ideas I may have not come up with on my own.

Negative Impacts of AI on Mental Health

1. Social Media Algorithms and Mental Health
While AI has revolutionized mental health support in many ways, it’s also behind some of the negative aspects of modern life. One of the biggest culprits is social media. AI-driven algorithms determine what we see in our feeds, often pushing content designed to keep us scrolling content that can negatively impact our mental health.

Studies have shown that social media can contribute to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and depression, particularly among younger users. AI tends to prioritize engagement, meaning posts that generate strong emotional reactions, whether positive or negative, are more likely to be seen. This can create a cycle of comparison, unrealistic beauty standards, and constant validation-seeking, all of which can undermine self-esteem and mental well-being.

2. Job Insecurity and Stress
The rise of AI in the workplace has also led to concerns about job security. As AI systems become more advanced, more jobs are being automated, leading to uncertainty in industries like manufacturing, retail, and even healthcare. This economic shift can contribute to increased stress, anxiety, and depression, especially for workers in industries that are at risk of disappearing.

The fear of job loss due to automation can lead to feelings of obsolescence and anxiety, making it harder for individuals to cope with their personal and professional futures.

I have had therapists and students , tell me that AI will take our jobs. Well, in my opinion, AI is not likely to take our jobs as much as it will make therapy more available to those who otherwise would not seek therapy. A major part of my job in my current role as a trauma therapist is holding space. Holding space is it’s own concept I will write about at a later time, but it can be essential in therapy and holding space is something that AI can’t effectively do.

3. The Loss of Human Connection
While AI can offer emotional support and guidance, it’s not a substitute for genuine human connection. Research shows that deep, empathetic human interactions are essential for emotional well-being. As AI tools replace more human-driven roles, especially in customer service, therapy, and caregiving, there’s a risk of losing that vital connection.

Though AI can simulate empathy, it lacks the true understanding and warmth of a human being. Over-relying on AI for emotional support could lead to social isolation, where people feel disconnected from the world around them. This can be especially damaging for young people, people with certain disabilities or people who are more vulnerable to feeling disconnected.

4. Over-reliance on AI for Emotional Support
One of the more subtle risks of AI is that people may begin to rely on it too much. For example, some individuals may use AI chatbots as a way to “talk” through their problems instead of seeking human interaction. While these tools can offer support in the short term, they may prevent people from addressing underlying issues with friends, family, or professionals.

Additionally, AI-driven tools cannot provide the same level of emotional intelligence and personalized care that a trained therapist or counselor can offer although at times it can do a very good job mimicking it.

Finding Balance: Using AI Responsibly for Mental Health

1. The Need for Human Touch
AI can be a powerful tool for mental health, but it should complement, not replace, human care. The best approach is a hybrid one: using AI for accessibility, immediacy, and personalized support, but ensuring that there’s a human connection to guide, listen, and offer the empathy that AI simply can’t.

2. Setting Boundaries with Technology
As AI becomes more integrated into our lives, it’s essential to set healthy boundaries. It’s easy to fall into the trap of checking AI-driven apps or social media constantly, seeking validation or support. But to protect mental health, it’s crucial to take breaks, set time limits, and engage in face-to-face conversations with loved ones.

3. Data Privacy and Mental Health
As AI tools collect sensitive mental health data, it’s important to ensure that privacy and security are prioritized. People need to feel confident that their mental health data is being protected and used ethically. When choosing AI tools, look for platforms that value data security and are transparent about how they use your information.

Conclusion: The Future of AI and Mental Health

AI is reshaping the way we think about mental health care. It has the potential to make mental health support more accessible, personalized, and immediate. However, it also poses new challenges, from social media addiction to the loss of human connection.

I believe that the goal should be to integrate AI in a way that complements traditional mental health practices while maintaining the irreplaceable value of human empathy and connection. It’s important to be mindful of how AI impacts our mental well-being and how we can use it responsibly for both our mental health and society’s overall emotional health.

Questions: Are you using AI for mental health support? What are your thoughts on its role in your well-being? Leave a comment below to share your experiences or ask questions!

Why Are Teens Inhaling Condoms and Cinnamon?

22 Apr 201313 May 2013by Torey C. Richards, LMHC15 Comments

Teens are great with coming up with pointless and sometimes dangerous fads that prove to us adults that their brains still aren’t fully developed.

Thanks to the internet, those fads spread like wild fire, putting more and more teens in danger.

Remember The Cinnamon Challenge? If you have no idea what I am talking about, it’s a “game” where you are supposed to put a spoon full of ground cinnamon in your mouth and attempt to swallow it without anything else to help wash it down.

The challenge is pretty much impossible.

There are plenty of YouTube videos demonstrating the challenge with the results usually ending with someone gagging, vomiting, coughing and/or choking.

Why this may sound stupid to us with fully developed brains, thousands of teens have taken this challenge with some ending up in the hospital.

According to the American Association of Poison Control Centers, there were 222 cases of abuse or misuse of cinnamon last year with the numbers steadily increasing.

Trying the cinnamon challenge can be damaging to the lungs with at least one teen being hospitalized with a collapsed lung when she attempted the challenge.

A newer, potentially even more dangerous fad is the The Condom Challenge.

In The Condom Challenge teens open up a condom, snort it through their nostrils, and then attempt to pull it out of their mouths.

You can see the health hazards in this.

Condoms can easily get lodged in the windpipe, causing a person to have trouble breathing or not be able to get any oxygen at all. I haven’t heard of any deaths yet, but as this fad spreads, it’s most likely only a matter of time.

Teens do a lot of stupid things when they get bored and are around or influenced by other teens, including doing drugs, drinking alcohol, and now apparently trying to swallow ground cinnamon and inhaling condoms.

Teens who have better things to do, like go to parks, participate in recreational activities, school sports and/or clubs are less likely to find themselves bored enough or interested enough to try the new fads.

Teens think that they are invincible and nothing will go wrong, but they do go wrong, often very quickly and un-expectantly.

It’s important that teens realize that they are their own person and they don’t have to follow other people in their real lives or in their online lives to be popular or cool.

As parents, caregivers and adults, we have to be aware of the fads our teens are facing and the hazards that go along with them. What may sound stupid, idiotic and dangerous to us most likely sounds harmless, challenging and fun to them.

Teens will be teens and they will be reckless and risk takers. It’s all a part of their developmental stage. Still, our jobs are to educate them and keep them safe the best we can so they can live long enough to become adults and reflect back on how stupid they were when they were teens, just as most of us do.

Popular Psychology

Childhood Abuse Linked To Asthma And Obesity In African American Women

25 Mar 201326 Mar 2013by Torey C. Richards, LMHC1 Comment

According to research done at the University School of Medicine and Boston University’s Slone Epidemiology Center, Black women who have been physically and/or sexually abused during childhood and adolescence are more likely to become obese in adulthood as well as are more likely to later go on to develop asthma.

The study appeared in the journal Pediatrics and was based on a longitudinal Black Women’s Health Study which followed a large number of African American women since 1995.

What the study suggests is what many of us already know and that is that experiences during childhood may have long-term affects on our emotional and physical health.

“Abuse during childhood may adversely shape health behaviors and coping strategies, which could lead to greater weight gain in later life,” says Renee Boynton-Jarrett, MD, who is the lead investigator in the study as well as a pediatric primary care physician at Boston Medical Center.

She goes on to say that metabolic and hormonal disruptions can result from abuse and that childhood abuse could cause other health problems like asthma. “Ultimately, greater understanding of pathways between early life abuse and adult weight status may inform obesity prevention and treatment approaches.” Boynton-Jarrett continued.

The same study found that physical and/or sexual abuse could more than double the chances of African American women developing asthma later in life. According to the study, African American women who suffered abuse in childhood had an increase of about 20 percent of developing asthma.

What’s also interesting is that the link between physical abuse and asthma seems to be stronger than the link between sexual abuse and asthma.

According to Patricia Coogan, the lead author in the study stated, “The results suggests that chronic stress contributed to asthma onset , even years later.”
I had a professor in graduate school who always said, “Whatever you don’t deal with mentally, you will deal with physically” and this seems to be a prime example.

Stress in childhood experienced from abuse causes physiological consequences. Imagine the amount of stress one experiences living in an abusive situation. That type of stress can have an impact on the body, especially the immune and respiratory system and development.

There are unfortunately high incidents of childhood abuse as well as an increase in the prevalence of asthma with an increase from 7.3 to 8.2 percent, or approximately from 20.3 million to 25.6 million people from 2001 to 2009. The populations that saw the greatest increase in asthma were children from low-income families and African-American children.

I find this study to be very interesting because as a counselor, before I ever read this study, I recognized a link between obesity and sexual abuse in African American teenage girls.

I noticed that a large portion of the obese African American teenage girls I worked with, reported being sexually abused in childhood and early adolescence. I found this to be astounding and the more obese African American teens I worked with, the more it continued to be true.

It got to a point where I could look at an obese African American teen, the way they carry themselves and predict with about a ninety percent certainty that they had been sexually abused before they ever felt comfortable enough to divulge that information.

I started thinking that maybe obesity and overeating became a unconscious defense mechanism they used to become less attractive to not only the person who had sexually abused them, but possibly potential abusers in the future. And of course, overeating in itself could have been a coping mechanism used to help self-sooth themselves from the pain of sexual abuse.

I found it fascinating and yet sad, but this new research appears to back up some of what I had been suspecting although they seem to take it from more of a physiological than psychological approach.

What’s also interesting is that in her book Young, Poor and Pregnant, Judith Musick saw a link between sexual abuse and teenage pregnancy, meaning that some young girls who were being sexually abused, consciously or unconsciously sought out to get pregnant in hopes that their pregnancy and having a baby would make them less appealing to their abuser.

It’s obvious that physical and sexual abuse in childhood can have devastating affects on a child’s mental and emotional health well into adulthood, but new research is pointing to physical and sexual abuse also having long lasting physiological affects, making it that much more important that we not only fight to put a end of child abuse, but that we also provide help to those who have been abused.

Many adults I’ve spoken to who have been abused as children think of themselves as being resilient, and to a certain degree they are, but they don’t see the potential ongoing damage the abuse they experienced ten, twenty, or thirty years ago still has on their lives today. They don’t see that their relationship problems stem from lack of trusting or being able to relate well to men, that their depression comes from years of childhood neglect or that their overeating could be a result of past sexual abuse.

So much so that many of them don’t even initially mention being abused early on, although it is one of the first questions I ask. They go on for session after session, week after week, talking about issues that have roots in their childhood abuse, but they don’t recognize that and it’s only when they bring up the abuse and we address it, that they can truly start to heal.

The Perplexed Minds of Teenagers

Is Pretending to be Pregnant a Mental Illness?

14 May 201217 Sep 2012by Torey C. Richards, LMHC166 Comments

In The Pregnancy Project: A Memoir, Gaby Rodriguez faked her own pregnancy as a social experiment, but teenage girls pretending to be pregnant is not a new phenomenon.

Over the past three years I’ve grown more and more concerned about teenage girls pretending to be pregnant, the reasons they do this and the mental and social rewards and consequences of it. I have to wonder if part of this is because of shows like 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom, but I also think that the alarming number of their peers who actually are pregnant or have kids has an effect on them. Why would a teenage girl want to put up with the scrutiny and criticism that comes along with being pregnant in high school? This is what I think:

1. Attention

Some of these young girls are starving for attention no matter if it’s positive or negative. Perhaps they see all the attention their peers or siblings got when they were pregnant and crave some of that same attention. I often see that their friends, while at times judgmental, often start bonding with the young girl in a nurturing way, something that she doesn’t get normally from them.

2. To Keep a Boy Interested

I think this may be the most common reason young girls pretend to be pregnant. I see it played out over and over again each year in the high school I work at. A relationship ends or is on the break of ending and all of a sudden the young girl blurts out she’s pregnant or thinks she’s pregnant. This usually sends the young man into a panic and even if he’s skeptical, he tends to at least try to stay on her good side until the pregnancy is confirmed or denied. Like a lot of young teens who pretend to be pregnant, these ladies may go through great lengths to convince their boyfriends (ex-boyfriend) that they are pregnant and often times in the process, continue to try to really get pregnant. These drastic attempts to keep a boy are seldom successful.

3. Biology

Evolutional psychology may say that it is normal for young teens to pretend to be pregnant since it’s in their biology to want to conceive children. During my research it appears that pretending to be pregnant is to some extend normal, but I think what is abnormal is the way that some young adults go about pretending to be pregnant. Perhaps pretending to be pregnant to yourself is normal, while pretending to be pregnant and in effect lying to your friends/boyfriend is more on the abnormal end of the scale. However, if it is to some extend normal to pretend to be pregnant, can it ever go so far that it can be classified as a mental illness. To what extent does a young girl have to go to inorder convince people she is pregnant, before she moves into the realm of psychopathology?

More recently, Annette Morales Rodriguez was arrested and suspected of stalking, beating and choking to death a pregnant woman and using an xacto knife to remove her unborn child because she had had four miscarriages and had been faking her pregnancy.

One source said that she panicked as her fake due date approached and she had to produce a baby. She was willing to kill in order to “have” a child.

Pretending to be Pregnant as a Mental Illness

I have a client I’ve known for three years and each year she “gets pregnant”. I was originally referred to her when she “gave birth” to a premature baby and was back at school the next day showing pictures of “this baby” in neo-intensive care. One of her teachers was concerned about her physical and mental health and referred her to me. When I met with her she told me that the baby had died and I spend several weeks helping her get through the grieving process and even helped her with a memorial ceremony. A few months later I found out that this was all a lie. She was never pregnant. The pictures of the baby in NIC-U had come from Google Images, and this wasn’t the first time she had pretended to be pregnant. The extend to which this young girl went through to convince people she was pregnant and had given birth to a premature baby that died concerned me. I thought surely she was mentally ill, but I let it go as the next year her problems turned to the more normal problems teenage girls come and see me about (boys, family, school, friends, drugs).

And then this year she said she was pregnant again. This time I believed her (call me gullible, but I tend to believe people until I have evidence not to) because from her pretending to be pregnant last year, I felt like she wanted to get pregnant, and from my experience, young girls that talk a lot about being pregnant, pretend to be pregnant, and are sexually active, they usually end up pregnant within twelve months. Well this young girl started to gain weight, starting looking pregnant (even wore too small clothing to enhance the effect) up to a certain extend when she suddenly stopped “growing”. She claimed to feel the baby moving and said she went to doctor appointments, but would never let her friends go with her. She told her boyfriend she was pregnant and all of her friends, but not her family. She even went as far as to have her friends plan a baby shower. I offered over and over to help her break the news to her mom, but she refused and then one day her best friend came to my office in tears, telling me that she thinks the young girl is “crazy” because she really isn’t pregnant and keeps pretending to be pregnant. Her best friend told me that all of her friends and even her boyfriend are concerned for her, but they haven’t confronted her out of fear that she really is mentally ill.

After an intense session with the young girl she admitted to me that she really wasn’t pregnant, but couldn’t tell me why she kept pretending to be pregnant and was still planning on letting her friends and boyfriend think she was pregnant. As of Friday she was still planning her baby shower. That lead me to truly believe that this girl has a mental illness, but if so, what?

Factitious Disorders

The first thing that came to my mind was that she had a factitious disorder. Factitious disorders occur when a person acts like they have an illness and purposely produces symptoms of that illness. They may go as far as contaminating urine samples, manipulating documents and taking substances to make themselves ill. The benefits they seek usually are attention, sympathy, nurturance and mercy. The old term for factitious disorder is Munchausen Syndrome, and many of you have probably heard of Munchausen by proxy, which is when the person uses someone else, usually a child or elderly person, to produce the sick symptoms of an illness unto, often times with alarming and deadly results. But does a young girl who continues to pretend to be pregnant and goes to great lengths to convince people she is pregnant suffering from a factitious disorder? Through all my research I couldn’t find a definite answer, but this as of right now is my number one guess.

Personality Disorders

Borderline Personality Disorder

I also have to wonder if this girl and others like her may have some type of personality disorder. Borderline personality disorder is very popular these days, but I have only known about three people I would diagnose with borderline personality disorder and only one of them have pretended to be pregnant in a very similar manner to the young girl I’ve been talking about. I also don’t think this young girl qualifies to be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, but it is possible.

Histrionic Personality Disorder

People with histrionic personality disorder are always seeking attention and can be very inappropriately seductive, have exaggerated emotions and feel shallow. I’m not sure if this describes the young lady I’m talking about either.

Dependent Personality Disorder

People who have dependent personality disorder are dependent psychologically on other people. Pretending to be pregnant would increase the likelihood that the people this person is dependent on will be more nurturing and present, but from knowing this girl I highly doubt she has dependent personality disorder, but it may explain why some other young ladies pretend to be pregnant.

Psychopathy

Some people are just psychopaths as defined by:

lack of remorse or empathy
shallow emotions
manipulativeness
lying
egocentricity
glibness
low frustration tolerance
episodic relationships
parasitic lifestyle
persistent violation of social norms

Is it necessary that I diagnose this young lady and those like her? Probably not. I prefer not to diagnose clients unless I have to or it is a diagnoses that is literally screaming in my face. I don’t like labeling clients, but there are many reasons to give a diagnosis. Most insurance companies require a diagnosis and a diagnosis does help give a framework for developing a treatment plan. It is however, in my opinion, essential that I figure out what is driving this young girl and others like her to go through such great extents to pretend to be pregnant in hopes of helping them deal with whatever it is they are trying to get externally, and be able to give it to themselves so that they can develop into emotionally and mentally healthy adults.

If you have any opinions or if you’ve been through this or even pretended to be pregnant before, please comment. I would love to hear your story.