In The Pregnancy Project: A Memoir, Gaby Rodriguez faked her own pregnancy as a social experiment, but teenage girls pretending to be pregnant is not a new phenomenon.
Over the past three years I’ve grown more and more concerned about teenage girls pretending to be pregnant, the reasons they do this and the mental and social rewards and consequences of it. I have to wonder if part of this is because of shows like 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom, but I also think that the alarming number of their peers who actually are pregnant or have kids has an effect on them. Why would a teenage girl want to put up with the scrutiny and criticism that comes along with being pregnant in high school? This is what I think:
- Some of these young girls are starving for attention no matter if it’s positive or negative. Perhaps they see all the attention their peers or siblings got when they were pregnant and crave some of that same attention. I often see that their friends, while at times judgmental, often start bonding with the young girl in a nurturing way, something that she doesn’t get normally from them.
2. To Keep a Boy Interested
- I think this may be the most common reason young girls pretend to be pregnant. I see it played out over and over again each year in the high school I work at. A relationship ends or is on the break of ending and all of a sudden the young girl blurts out she’s pregnant or thinks she’s pregnant. This usually sends the young man into a panic and even if he’s skeptical, he tends to at least try to stay on her good side until the pregnancy is confirmed or denied. Like a lot of young teens who pretend to be pregnant, these ladies may go through great lengths to convince their boyfriends (ex-boyfriend) that they are pregnant and often times in the process, continue to try to really get pregnant. These drastic attempts to keep a boy are seldom successful.
- Evolutional psychology may say that it is normal for young teens to pretend to be pregnant since it’s in their biology to want to conceive children. During my research it appears that pretending to be pregnant is to some extend normal, but I think what is abnormal is the way that some young adults go about pretending to be pregnant. Perhaps pretending to be pregnant to yourself is normal, while pretending to be pregnant and in effect lying to your friends/boyfriend is more on the abnormal end of the scale. However, if it is to some extend normal to pretend to be pregnant, can it ever go so far that it can be classified as a mental illness. To what extent does a young girl have to go to inorder convince people she is pregnant, before she moves into the realm of psychopathology?
More recently, Annette Morales Rodriguez was arrested and suspected of stalking, beating and choking to death a pregnant woman and using an xacto knife to remove her unborn child because she had had four miscarriages and had been faking her pregnancy.
One source said that she panicked as her fake due date approached and she had to produce a baby. She was willing to kill in order to “have” a child.
Pretending to be Pregnant as a Mental Illness
I have a client I’ve known for three years and each year she “gets pregnant”. I was originally referred to her when she “gave birth” to a premature baby and was back at school the next day showing pictures of “this baby” in neo-intensive care. One of her teachers was concerned about her physical and mental health and referred her to me. When I met with her she told me that the baby had died and I spend several weeks helping her get through the grieving process and even helped her with a memorial ceremony. A few months later I found out that this was all a lie. She was never pregnant. The pictures of the baby in NIC-U had come from Google Images, and this wasn’t the first time she had pretended to be pregnant. The extend to which this young girl went through to convince people she was pregnant and had given birth to a premature baby that died concerned me. I thought surely she was mentally ill, but I let it go as the next year her problems turned to the more normal problems teenage girls come and see me about (boys, family, school, friends, drugs).
And then this year she said she was pregnant again. This time I believed her (call me gullible, but I tend to believe people until I have evidence not to) because from her pretending to be pregnant last year, I felt like she wanted to get pregnant, and from my experience, young girls that talk a lot about being pregnant, pretend to be pregnant, and are sexually active, they usually end up pregnant within twelve months. Well this young girl started to gain weight, starting looking pregnant (even wore too small clothing to enhance the effect) up to a certain extend when she suddenly stopped “growing”. She claimed to feel the baby moving and said she went to doctor appointments, but would never let her friends go with her. She told her boyfriend she was pregnant and all of her friends, but not her family. She even went as far as to have her friends plan a baby shower. I offered over and over to help her break the news to her mom, but she refused and then one day her best friend came to my office in tears, telling me that she thinks the young girl is “crazy” because she really isn’t pregnant and keeps pretending to be pregnant. Her best friend told me that all of her friends and even her boyfriend are concerned for her, but they haven’t confronted her out of fear that she really is mentally ill.
After an intense session with the young girl she admitted to me that she really wasn’t pregnant, but couldn’t tell me why she kept pretending to be pregnant and was still planning on letting her friends and boyfriend think she was pregnant. As of Friday she was still planning her baby shower. That lead me to truly believe that this girl has a mental illness, but if so, what?
The first thing that came to my mind was that she had a factitious disorder. Factitious disorders occur when a person acts like they have an illness and purposely produces symptoms of that illness. They may go as far as contaminating urine samples, manipulating documents and taking substances to make themselves ill. The benefits they seek usually are attention, sympathy, nurturance and mercy. The old term for factitious disorder is Munchausen Syndrome, and many of you have probably heard of Munchausen by proxy, which is when the person uses someone else, usually a child or elderly person, to produce the sick symptoms of an illness unto, often times with alarming and deadly results. But does a young girl who continues to pretend to be pregnant and goes to great lengths to convince people she is pregnant suffering from a factitious disorder? Through all my research I couldn’t find a definite answer, but this as of right now is my number one guess.
Borderline Personality Disorder
I also have to wonder if this girl and others like her may have some type of personality disorder. Borderline personality disorder is very popular these days, but I have only known about three people I would diagnose with borderline personality disorder and only one of them have pretended to be pregnant in a very similar manner to the young girl I’ve been talking about. I also don’t think this young girl qualifies to be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, but it is possible.
Histrionic Personality Disorder
People with histrionic personality disorder are always seeking attention and can be very inappropriately seductive, have exaggerated emotions and feel shallow. I’m not sure if this describes the young lady I’m talking about either.
Dependent Personality Disorder
People who have dependent personality disorder are dependent psychologically on other people. Pretending to be pregnant would increase the likelihood that the people this person is dependent on will be more nurturing and present, but from knowing this girl I highly doubt she has dependent personality disorder, but it may explain why some other young ladies pretend to be pregnant.
Some people are just psychopaths as defined by:
- lack of remorse or empathy
- shallow emotions
- low frustration tolerance
- episodic relationships
- parasitic lifestyle
- persistent violation of social norms
Is it necessary that I diagnose this young lady and those like her? Probably not. I prefer not to diagnose clients unless I have to or it is a diagnoses that is literally screaming in my face. I don’t like labeling clients, but there are many reasons to give a diagnosis. Most insurance companies require a diagnosis and a diagnosis does help give a framework for developing a treatment plan. It is however, in my opinion, essential that I figure out what is driving this young girl and others like her to go through such great extents to pretend to be pregnant in hopes of helping them deal with whatever it is they are trying to get externally, and be able to give it to themselves so that they can develop into emotionally and mentally healthy adults.
If you have any opinions or if you’ve been through this or even pretended to be pregnant before, please comment. I would love to hear your story.
165 thoughts on “Is Pretending to be Pregnant a Mental Illness?”
I just recently went through this with my son’s (16) girlfriend (17). There was a claim of pregnancy. Both she and my son discussed it with me and I talked about their options. The girl initially said she wanted to keep the baby (and assured me she had told her mother), then the next day decided abortion was a better choice. I offered to take her to Planned Parenthood and cover the costs associated with the pregnancy termination. Her story was questionable from the beginning, but I felt erring on the side of caution was in everyone’s best interest. After agreeing to a day (twice) and then having her cancel at the last moment, I asked her to take a home pregnancy test that I provided. She refused. I then explained that I felt it was necessary to call her mom (I’ve never spoken to her mom) as neither of the teens seemed to feel a sense of urgency in the situation. Two days later she sent my son a text telling him she miscarried.
Based on the situation, I can only assume the pregnancy was never real. I have not spoken to her mom but am concerned about the situation and unsure of how to handle it.
I apologize I took so long to reply, your comment somehow ended up in my spam box. First, thanks for commenting and second, I think your intuitions are correct. Sounds like she was never pregnant to me as well. Young girls who falsify being pregnant always end up having a “miscarriage”, and even try to use that as a way to gain emotional support and attention from the boy or friends. It’s sad, but if your son is still dating her I would definitely encourage him to use protection at all times because girls who falsify being pregnant usually are trying to get pregnant already. Apparently she wants to keep your son around for a long time which means you’ve done a good job raising him, but he definitely doesn’t want to get trapped by this or any other female.
Hi i have a simillar problem like ur story please could i have ur email i would really appreciate if you coukd help me im really scared for myself and my friends safety
That girl sounds like my step-daughter. I divorced the father simply because after having gone through this with her once(and she was extremely young-lied to a friend, and you know the rest) and then coerced a lot of sympathy, she started up again. Although I told the family I cannot continue to take their daughter to seek help due to these ‘incidents’, pregnancies, problems, arrest, they blamed me for even following up with any MD as any responsible parent would. I also limited my time for them to call on me to pick her up over these problems-yet they still did. Thus I had to divorce. My health was suffering. I believe the level and degree of time I had to spend over her health concerns wasn’t much different than her parents time spent over her health concerns. The child complained she was abused but she does cut and I told her father this was extremely serious. I told them she needs counseling and psychotherapy-there were plenty of arguments. Limits are limits-I think she was borderline disorder but by the time I called it quits it was obviously a mental health disorder which runs in her biological fathers family-bipolar.
For your sake I am glad you removed yourself from the situation. Dealing with someone with bipolar or borderline personality disorder has proven to be the toughest tasks I’ve had to deal with in both my personal and professional life.
I too was the victim of someone who lied about pregnancy. We had a month into our relationship, I was hearing words like I love you and you deserve better and shortly after a 8 weeks of having a good relationship (at least for her) she decided to get with her bipolar ex who abused her (supposedly) she took him back after a brief argument cause she began not responding to me in anyway.
Well one week after getting back with the Ex I get a call that she is pregnant. She tells me the HCG level isn’t normal and they think it’s ectopic. She tells me she needs to get rechecked two days later and upon doing so tells me that they found a growth in her ovary and they would have to check her out another two days.
Well how do I know she’s lying. Well an ectopic pregnancy would be identified immediately and the women would have to under Gina procedure that would of kept her in for a few hours. She stretched out the diagnoses for a week and has yet to call me to confirm or deny the lie. In so many words I let her know I knew she was lying and even left space so she could (if courageous enough) talk with me again to close this chapter.
She is something else, I recall two weeks prior to the break up and fake news her and her girlfriend she hangs with were joking at a bar we went out to. I stepped out to the bathroom and return hearing them giggle about not ‘hurting the baby’ cause they drunk so much- they thought is was hilarious but didn’t notice me behind them listening.
If I were to lie about something so significant I would never approach the person out of being ashamed..not only ashamed for the lies but also for any incoming lies to save face which I think is to be expected of anyone who lies to this level.
I think she wanted to keep me on her team in case the ex boyfriend who’s NOW her man went bipolar again and she’d have a safety net. I also think it’s a mental health issue when you can make fun of tormenting the minds of others. Had I been a youngster again my head would of been so tormented I’d if needed mental health counseling. It’s not fair to lie to those who are actually giving you more than others out there. Respect is lost and trust is destroyed beyond. Still I wonder if she’ll ever try to at something to me again and I wonder what I will have to say if granted the opportunity.
I feel bad for her, ashamed and shocked to have given away a part of me to someone I would of thought better of.
I think she was pregnant and just scare so i can correct what is being said. You are the sons mother not her mother. How do you not think it could be she dont want to tell her mom. Dont jump to conclusions. Miscarriage is a stressful thing to a teen. Lying and accusing someone of lying is a big thing so before accusing such things why not read and understand the young girls side first. This is for everyone. Someone to be known to do something like this shouldnt be rummered or made up go to the bottom of it and try fixing the problems and if there none then theres no fake about. If you feel afraid your sons are not using protection right to convence them instead of just the girls how to make sue to BE SAFE or ADSENSE instead of hurting the futures of all females or males.
My friend is living with a girl that is pretending to be pregnant. She was claiming to be pregnant for 4 months but wouldn’t see a Dr. Then after my buddy missed work to go to the Dr. appointment she claimed to have a bad day and refused to go. Her sister ended up coming by the house when she wasn’t home. My buddy asked her if she thought her sister was pregnant. He facial expression seemed concerned and she asked him why??? She then explained that she had done this multiple times before and her family actually planned and threw her a baby shower one time.. A big one…She faked it all the way to the delivery room and acted like the baby died during delivery.
She took fake test showing she was positive. She purchased a fake baby bump and she has been lying and rubbing her belly talking about how much she has to pee at night. The lengths she goes is scary. She is currently texting me telling her little plan on announcing the sex. She has a gift bag with blue and pink tissue and when he opens it there is little dinosaur shoes. HAHA crazy chick. We are currently just playing along trying to see how far she is going to take it. She has to be mentally ill. She has to be. Her poor daughter that she has is going to end up hating her when she grows up.
Any suggestions on what to do from here? Anyone got any good ideas?
excellent post. unfortunately many of us have met these people and there is not enough written on this subject. Thanks for the excellent resource.
Thank you for taking the time to read and reply. It really is amazing at how little is written on this subject and it only gets attention when something dramatic happens and it gets media attention.
I had a run in with something similar. I was having sex unprotected with this 23 year old girl I am 25 as well. She is on birth control the pill and I have witnessed her take via mouth every a.m. Like clock work. I was texting her and I was like I kinda don’t want to be with you and she was like I am pregnant I didn’t want to tell you. So I played the sweet card and then got her to come clean that she was lying to make me stay. So then a week goes by and I try and say we should be friends and she is like guess what lol I am pregnant. Then she says she is getting a abortion I work in the medical field so I know what it takes and proper steps in order for a forced miscarriage all of her facts were wrong she had to take both pills in office that day as well as she showed up and just had a abortion it’s not like that I was please show me the papers and they didn’t state one thing regarding a abortion so I called pretending to be her and was like is this birth control supposed to make me feel sick and they were like one sec they pulled her file cause I can talk like a girl as well as know her dob and all that jazz turns out she just got the birth control shot that day that is good for 3 months really now… She came to my home she said she lied I made her take 3 pee tests the expensive digital ones and guess what all said neg soooo wtf I changed my work number my cell number and email cause there is something wrong with this any insight I would appreciate thank you
Unfortunately this is a common ploy used by some women to keep a man around. It can be a sign of mental illness, but is usually just a sign of a desperate and neurotic woman. Glad you you got away from her.
I know it was wrong but the lie went over months and then I had to fake a miscarriage because I told my friend Tom he was the daddy. It was really amessed up lie and now I’m afraid my boyfriend will find out all this was going on while I was seeing him. It was fairly easy to do and very sad that I had my friend lying to his girlfriend. He was so naive and stupid he still believes I was pregnant. Thing is I was already back with my boyfriend when we had sex and was only trying to get rid of his girlfriend. Guys will believe anything and I needed money while I was trying to pursue the love of my life.
I am not sure either, i know of two women who keeps claiming to be pregnant, but never produce a baby. One is in her late 20s the other one is in her middle 30s. The one in her 20s have claimed to be prenant twice, one died at birth and the other one is living with her dad in another city, never seen this child and she never talks about it any more. the one in her middle 30s, was my brother’s girlfriend, she would never let us see her, but kept calling and telling my brother she was having a boy. Never let him go with her to doctor’s appt. But she calls him from time to time and say stuff about how the pregnacy is going. My brother called me and said she said she had the baby, i wrote on her FB wall and she erased that status so freaking quick my head spinned. She was never pregnant. Maybe these women can not have children so they pretend to be so they can get attention. But i think it is a curel joke to play on some one, .
Yeah, sometimes people do this to play mind games, and sometimes they really are sick or have a personality issue. I recently had a student who kept saying she thought she was pregnant and that every test she took came out inconclusive. She kept saying she felt pregnant and had signs and symptoms of pregnancy, but when finally pushed to go to a doctor to see if she was really pregnant, suddenly she wasn’t pregnant any more. If she hadn’t been pushed by her boyfriend, myself and the school nurse, I think she would have continued to be “pregnant” for many months to come. So far this school year I haven’t run into many students claiming to be pregnant, although the school nurse said that she has run into several cases. In teenagers it doesn’t seem as psychotic as it does the older the woman is, and I definitely think that it is a cruel, selfish, controlling joke a lot of times.
I have a niece who is 27 years old. She told the whole family including her boyfriend that she was pregnant. We were all so happy for her. Next thing she tells us they are going to be Identical twin girls. we were estatic! We never had any twins in our family. She showed up with ultrasounds and pics of the twins. I thought they looked like her. Everytime I would see toys or clothes I would buy a set and so did everyone in my family. On her 8th month we had a baby shower for her. She received lots of gifts for the girls. On her 9th Mo. She said She had called an ambulance and was on her way to the hospital to give birth. We asked which hosp, but she wouldn’t give us a straight answer. After going to 5-6 hospitals, we decided to call the 911 operator to see what hospital the ambulance had removed her to. They had no record of any ambulance responding. She kept us on edge for 2 days saying she had lost her babies and didn’t want to see anyone. She even posted pics of her dead babies on Facebook. We were all going crazy. I decided to look in the internet and googled ultrasounds. I found the exact ultrasounds she claimed were hers. I googled stillborn babies. I found the exact pics of the babies she claimed were hers. I told my sister. Your Daughter is Psychotic! Till this day she refuses to admit she faked everything, but we all know she did. Needless to say her Ex-boyfriend was devastated and wants nothing to do with her. 2 weeks later She had a new boyfriend and moved on! I am still in shock!
Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment. I would still be in shock too! See, that goes beyond the typical woman lying bout a pregnancy and definitely goes into something deeper and more psychological. I’ll be interested in knowing your thoughts behind why she would do something like this. Is it for psychological gains? Is she a compulsive liar or a sociopath who can lie and play with other people’s lives with no regard for how it will affect them?
What are your thoughts on faking pregnancies/miscarriages by someone with ODD and attachment problems? Someone who already has one child – one that she doesn’t take care of?
Hi, thanks for reading and commenting! You bring up an interesting point. A lot of women who fake pregnancies and miscarriages want the attention and affection that comes along with both carrying a child and the tragic loss of a child during miscarriage. That doesn’t mean that they actually want a child or will be attached to their child if they actually have one in real life. This person may have attachement issues and bonding issues with their own child, but still likes the attention of pretending to be pregnant/miscarrying. I’ve worked with women who actually got pregnant 3 to 5 different times and had lost all of their children to either child protective services or a family member because they didn’t take care of them. The reasons they kept getting pregnant was not that they didn’t know how to prevent pregnancy, but they actually liked being pregnant, but did not like being a mother.
I myself have pretended to be pregnant..my bf cheated on my and the young lady claimed to be pregnant with his first but said she didn’t want the baby and she had not told him yet I told her I was also pregnant. She told him and I went along with the lie. He got arrested a few months later and I told him I had an abortion while he was arrested because I didn’t want to have a baby without him being home.
Hi, thanks for reading and sharing your story. Pretending to be pregnant is actually pretty common and I see your pretending to be pregnant served a purpose.Perhaps it was to one up or at least become even with the other young lady so that she wouldn’t have being pregnant with his baby over you? Was she ever actually pregnant? It also served the purpose of making him feel guilty about both cheating on you and going to jail. In any case, it’s a very interesting story. Thanks again for sharing it.
Truthfully, this is one of a few pretend pregnancy scenarios that I do not really have any moral qualms with. Call me morally bankrupt, but I think the boyfriend deserved it for being an a-hole to not only cheat, but cheat and get somebody else pregnant with the baby that Duchess probably had hoped to someday have with him. He’s obviously an a-hole of a person if he cheats and breaks the law. I think the a-hole boyfriend deserved it for how he treated her. I’m curious though, how did he respond to the pregnancy lie? Did he leave the w**** he cheated with and decide he wanted to be in Duchess’s “baby’s” life? Or did he plan to be a deadbeat dad to that particular baby?
Hi. I have an older sister that constantly says she is pregnant but always seems to lose the baby right as she is to learn the gender. She has sent me pictures of stillborn babies and sonos. Everytime I google the subject under images there th same pictures are. It makes me so mad. I have 3 beautiful children and have had one miscarriage and I can’t imagine why people do that. She has always wanted to be the center of attention but all she is doin is hurting the family cause they all get excited them j just like that its gone. She Hs even told people she has 10 kids and she is only 24. She even went to the extent of takin pictures of mine and our oldest sisters kids tellin people they were hers. I love my sister dearly but I wish she would get help. She does this pregnant story at least twice a year for the past 5 years or more. How can we go about getting help for her she won’t do it herself.
Hi, thanks for reading and responding. Your sister sounds so much like many of the young women I deal with who have this issue. I think you hit the nail on the hammer. Your sister is probably seeking attention and may either be unaware or insensitive to the fact that she is hurting other family members. I know your situation is tough because each time she does this, you know she is lying, but there is always that small chance that she is actually pregnant, so you can’t totally ignore it, yet when she claims to have a miscarriage each time, it is hurtful for multiple reasons. 1) Because you know she was most likely lying about ever being pregnant and 2) For you it hurts especially because you have been through the unfortunate pain of having a miscarriage and your sister probably has no idea what you went through.
Your sister could either just be attention starved or she could have one of the disorders I talked about. It’s not uncommon for people like your sister to show pictures, claim other people’s kids are their own, etc. It get’s really concerning when they start doing things like taking your kids and telling people they meet that they are hers or when they start visiting nurseries or play grounds. It’s quite easy for fantasy to start blending with reality and for the person to start losing touch with reality. Chance are your sister will never get to that point and getting her help may be hard if she doesn’t want it. You can’t force people into treatment unless they are in danger of hurting/neglecting themselves or hurting someone else. Your sister doesn’t seem to fit either of those categories. If I were you, I would try having a woman to woman, passionate, non-judgmental talk with her to see where her thinking is and maybe help her start to resolve what ever issues are causing her to go through this twice a year. Let me know what happens.
I’m 36 weeks pregnant and a co-worker of mine just revealed she is 6 weeks pregnant.
A little background on her is she is severely overweight and had a bypass surgery last year, she lost about 1/2 of what she expected to and she is still very heavy. She is in her late 20’s, lives with her Mom and has not dated at all in the 2 years I’ve worked with her. She met a guy a few months ago and things have moved very fast between them. She is socially awkward and desperately strives to be the center of attention (she will dance or bust out laughing) so she doesn’t care if it’s positive or negative.
A few weeks ago she abruptly left on a personal leave for what she described as mental health reasons. She told a few co-workers she was seeking out patient therapy to deal with emotional issues. Last week she returned early from her leave (was taking 6-8 weeks but returned after 3). No more than an hour after her return she reveals she is pregnant and that’s why she came back.
Yesterday she was saying she had a Dr appointment an was getting a facial scan to see if the baby had a clef pallet. she’s only 6 weeks!!! I’m considered high risk and see a specialist in addition to my regular Dr and at my 26th week I had a 3D ultrasound to see if he had a clef pallet-he doesn’t and is very healthy! She didn’t return to work after her Dr appointment and today she said that she was spotting so she went back to the Dr. Apparently they couldn’t find the baby and are doing a test to see if she miscarried. Ok, wouldn’t they have to had a negative pregnancy test result before performing a test to determine a miscarriage?? Also she said she’s remaining positive that her baby is ok. She also can’t bare to look at me becauseim having a baby and she’s struggling to save hers.
Hi Layla, thanks for reading, commenting and sharing your story. From everything you’ve said, it definitely sounds like she is faking a pregnancy for attention. Sounds like she already has mental health issues and needs attention like you said and this is a perfect way for her to get that plus sympathy. It’s a delicate situation because you can never be certain, but if I were you I would remain skeptical. You can listen to her if you choose to, just remember to take everything she says with a grain of salt and don’t allow her to pull you into her fantasy world.
This reminds me of a current client I have who says she thinks she is pregnant. She would be about four months now, but every pregnancy test she’s taken has been negative, but she says someone told her you can be pregnant and still have a negative pregnancy test so she went to get a blood test to see if she was pregnant. She came back and told me the blood test was inconclusive. So I urged her to go get an ultrasound and she was reluctant to go, saying she knew she was pregnant so having an ultrasound was pointless. Well supposedly last week she went for the ultrasound and told me that they said it was a “good chance” she was pregnant. I confronted her and told her that an ultrasound should have resulted in a yes or a no result, not a “good chance” result. She got offended, but I felt like she needed to be challenged because even in the face of all signs pointing to her not being pregnant she keeps insisting she is. It’s frustrating because I definitely don’t think she is pregnant, but I will continue to entertain her until it gets to a point where I feel it is unhealthy for her to continue pretending or believing to be pregnant. But that is part of my job, to entertain people who may not be functioning in reality. It’s up to you to decide how much and how long you want to entertain your coworker, just be sensitive to her potential illness yet don’t get mixed into giving her the extra attention and sympathy she is looking for.
I need your number
Hi Asia. I currently charge for e-counseling (electronic counseling). You can go to my website which is still under construction (and I promise to find a better, less creepy picture of myself). It’s embracingyourinnerpower.org
I have story that is sort of similar. My sister as been told that she will most likely never get pregnant. Well for the past two years she has been watching one of her friends babies (he is now 2yrs old) every week Thursday-Sunday. She tells people that he is her baby and even as him call her mama and call her husband daddy and tells people that he lives with her full time and that she adopted him. What disorder is this? Its definitely not normal and not healthy for her or the child. What should I do? Should I tell the babys parents?
I have a close friend who slept with a girl twice. Once the condom split. She is completely besotted with him and over thelasttwo months since he hasn’t seen her again she had been saying she is pregnant. She then said she wasn’t and sent him a picture of a negative test. Then she said the doctor had taken a urine sample and sent it off for testing which in my exexperience doesn’t happen, they do a test there and then. Now yesterday she said she was pregnant and sent him a picture of a positive test but we found the same picture on Google images. She is saying she is going to have an abortion but she won’t let him go with her to the clinic. What do you make of this?
Hi Samantha, it sounds like something I hear all the time. This young lady most likely isn’t pregnant, she just doesn’t want to let your friend go and will use this to hold on to him as long as possible. She wants him to be at least emotionally unable to totally let go, at least while she still “might be pregnant”. She’s not psychotic, just desperate. The not allowing him to go with her to the abortion clinic or to see a doctor, coupled with the Google image and the false negative urine test are all dead give a ways. It’s common for women like her to say that the urine test was negative, but the doctor wants to do a blood test or something, which takes more time, keeps him at least emotionally attached for a little longer and delays the inevitable. Chances are she is not pregnant, she just doesn’t want him to move on. Your male friend just has to keep it business like, not play with her emotions or get caught up in her drama and soon this will go away, even if she claims to have an abortion or miscarriage. What she ultimately wants from him is attention, but the more he gives her, the longer she will draw this out. Once she realizes he’s not playing into her game, she’ll drop it. I wish your friend luck. It’s a bad situation for any guy to be in, especially a good guy who is less likely to walk away and more likely to want to stick around and see what’s true and whats’ not.
Wow well people do this is a lot then.. Well I’ve thought I was pregnant twice but never pretended. People who do this are not good people and need to learn right from wrong or get some professional help.
owany nagłą niemocą, i
przecież wiedział, Blanca że owo suma krętactwo.
Że owo ów cymbał klejnoty rodzinne samemu działa.
Noc natomiast strugi deszczu, W mokrej ciemności majaczy aramidowy hełm.
nitki torów, które giną w bruku, nieść się okrzyki a wrzaski, Skąd ja owo znam?
Przeżyłem, w przeszłym siedzeniu? Winno dysponujemy owo obecnie w genach, pamięć pokoleń.
Zebrał każde prężności, pochylony.
im currently going through this at the moment, i broke up with a girl cos it wasnt right for me. a week later i get a message on facebook telling me she is pregnant. this woman is 27. I instantly went round to see her, she tells me to go away. then after i am gone she asks if i want to meet and talk. i do this. she tells me she loves me and wants to sleep with me again. I refused, she flips and tells me i am an arse hole. the next day she is all sweetness and light again. we meet up to talk again. it was perfetly pleasent but she asked me about us, no mention of the child. i said im not sure about us and she flipped again. this goes on for about a week. then she asked me what i thought we should do about the child. In my view after the history me and her had, i didnt feel that we should have the child as we were not even close to a stable relationship. she pressed the point of me and her and once again barely commented on the child. i again told her the truth while i still did love her I wasnt sure that we would ever work i also said that regardless of this the decision was in the end hers and that i would help bring up the child. she flipped on me again. then she told me that either i stayed with her and she got rid of it or she would raise it without me. at this stage i was very concerened that she was lying but not willing to take the risk and not be allowed to see my own child. so i told her that i was still unsure about the whole me and her thing,(i couldnt understand why that was the important thing, at this point to me it was the potential child that worried me). in the end she told me that she had gone for the abortion and that me and my family could, and i quote “go celebrate” this did not sit well with me. she then started telling me about all the men in her life that wanted to be with her I assume to make me jealous. I dont like games and told her that i would not get back together with her. we were too different and it wasnt going to work. as soon as i said this to her she told me she had lied and actually hadnt had the termination due to “mothering instinct”. since then she has refused any contact with me and simply wont talk to me. my gut tells me this whole thing has been a lie from the off as a method of either getting me back (not wishing to sound arrogant) or failing that to punishing me. she did say at one point that if i left her she would make me suffer. this all happened about 12 weeks ago and since then i have seen photos of her out drinking, unfortunatly she said that her mum drank when pregnant with her and did no harm so she could well be doing the same. I dont really know what i expect from putting this here, i already know there is nothing i can do but wait i suppose i am just venting and hoping someone may have an insight into all of this.
Hi, thanks for sharing your story. First of all, trust your gut. If your gut is telling you she isn’t pregnant than chances are she’s not. The story you told me I hear all the time from young man and very, very rarely do these women end up actually being pregnant. She is doing this to make you suffer, to try to have something over you and yes, to get you back. If she can’t have you back, then she at least wants you to be unhappy while you wonder if she is pregnant. My advice would be to go on with your life and try to be happy. There is nothing you can do until you have proof that she is pregnant and then you have several options. One would be a DNA test and the other is, if she is pregnant from you, you have legal rights to your child and she can’t just keep him/her from you. In the mean time, live your life, she seems to be living hers. In a short amount of time she will either meet someone else or get bored of this game and you won’t hear anything else about it. Driving yourself crazy in the mean time won’t do anything except give her what she wants, which is you suffering. IF you really must no, go with her to a doctors appointment or to take a pregnancy test. At 12 weeks she should at least be seeing a doctor. Chances are she will refuse to do both which will be another sign that she isn’t truly pregnant. I can not recall one time in the past four years I’ve worked with guys in this situation where the girl actually ended up being pregnant, but I have seen where the girl became pregnant by someone else shortly after they left the guy so just be careful with that as well (paternity test). Good luck, but for now, put it behind you until (and if) you have to deal with it.
Thank you for this, one other thing I found she is actively on a dating site, while I have no issue with her dating this strikes me as a very odd thing to do while pregnant. does this seems to me like another bit of evidence that she has been lying.
This definitely seems to be further evidence that she is being dishonest. As soon as she finds someone else she will drop this whole charade and be his problem, but you don’t have to wait for that to happen in order for you to move on 🙂
Hi, I never leave comments on these things but I am genuinely quite concerned, and having read the previous comments feel this is a non judgmental and safe place to be honest. When I was 17 and in a relationship I fell pregnant however my partner and mother forced me to have a termination (I do take blame for this myself too as no one can fully force you to have an operation, but they made it very clear I would be raising the baby alone and I was terrified) I have regretted this ever since as I have always been so against abortions (my opinion on this is now however pro choice). Anyway I have since completed my university studies and do feel that I made the right decision for my future at that time. However I am ashamed to say that I have in the mean time faked 2 pregnancies with guys that I was desperate to still want me and after they stopped giving me attention and I found attention elsewhere just as you mentioned before with other clients my pregnancies suddenly disappeared and I said I miscarried. I still don’t really know why I faked those pregnancies I gained nothing other than driving the guys further away and probably emotionally hurting them too. To add to all of this I have recently had my implant removed and have been sleeping with a guy I have really strong feelings for I pretended to take the morning after pill and haven’t had a period in 4 weeks so we discussed that I could be pregnant this got me wishing for it so badly that I told him I am pregnant when in reality I’ve had 3 negative pregnancy tests (although im still hoping that maybe it was too early to test and I really could be pregnant). He’s made it clear he doesn’t want a baby yet and won’t be involved in its upbringing however I’m still sleeping with him without protection hoping to get pregnant (I do not understand why I am doing this as I don’t want to have a baby if I’m going to be raising it alone, and as I am only 21 I am scared my mum would just make me have another termination), also I have a long term boyfriend who happens to be this guys best friend (I am aware how awful that is too) but I am not sleeping with my bf because I don’t want to fall pregnant with his baby I want it to be with his friend. When I think about all of this I am very concerned that I have a mental illness (i have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression) because I know how crazy and wrong this all is yet I continue to do it and actually get excited thinking about having his baby and I pick fights with him just so he’ll talk to me and I try to get him to talk about the baby too. Sorry this is so long I just needed to talk to someone that doesn’t know me. Please reply
Hi, thanks for sharing so much of your experiences. I read your comment several times and what you have been doing is reminicent of many of the women I’ve worked with who pretended to be pregnant to keep a guy around and like you said, it never works and just pushing them away. The thing is, part of you now is actually trying to get pregnant and hoping to be pregnant why? If false pregnancies haven’t helped keep guys around, what makes you think a real pregnancy will? Chances are it won’t, it will do exactly what your false pregnancies have done which is make guys run, become angry, bitter and most likely leave you alone to raise a child you may or may not really want. The reason I say you may or may not really want is because it doesn’t sound like you are wanting to get pregnant because you love children, or want to have a child, but that you want that child to help you keep a guy around and if that doesn’t work, you are still left with the child. You say he’s made it clear to you that he doesn’t want a baby and won’t be involved in his upbringing, so why aren’t you LISTENING to him? He’s telling you the truth, yet part of you is thinking somehow that getting pregnant and having a child will make him change his mind, but chances are it won’t. Chances are he’s going to be exactly who he is TELLING you he will be, an absent father. Your life really seems a bit out of wack right now and I am not saying that is abnormal for a 21 year old, but we need to examine why that is. You mention you have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. Are you taking medication and/or receiving therapy for that? If not so, I highly recommend therapy as I think there are many underlying issues to why you both fear abandonment and believe having a child will solve a large part of your problems. You have a lot of insight into your problem which means you would do well with a good therapist in uncovering the concious and unconcious sources that are causing you to feel and act this way. It’s possible that on top of your anxiety and depression you could have another issue or even a personality disorder, or you may just need to learn new ways to cope with your fears of abandonment. Women of many ages do the same things you do and many think having a baby will guarantee a man will stay around, but I am telling you that it won’t. Chances are, having a baby before you are mentally and financially ready will just make things worse but you know this. Go seek out a good therapist, maybe even a psychoanalytical one who can help you resolve these issues. I don’t think you are crazy, I think you are neurotic and in need of some help before you get yourself, some guy and a child into a crazy, messy situation that may truly drive you crazy. I hope this helps.
Well, my family just went thru this very same thing with my niece. For 9 months she pretended to be pregnant, and the baby was due September 18, 2013. On that date no baby; and, on September 21, baby was born dead. No one at the hospital new anything about a baby, she was diagnosis at the hospital with another ailment. But she continue with the lie and said the hospital loss the dead baby. On Monday, after coming home from the hospital, she said they found the baby and now she is planning a funeral(closed cassket). The family don’t know how to deal with her. Do we continue with the lie or do we confront her?
Wow, thanks for replying and sharing your story. This reminds me so much of a couple of clients I had who kept up their fake pregnancy stories despite being faced with numerous medical proof that they were not pregnant. At some point I think delusion sets in so confrontation isn’t advised as this could make things worse. I think at some point getting her therapy is a must because her actions have gone far beyond the “typical” pretending to be pregnant scenario and have wandered over into the more pathological side. I advise that you be patient with her, listen to her, and all the while reach out to get her professional help. It took an intervention of myself, her medical doctor and her mother for one client to finally realize she wasn’t pregnant and hadn’t been pregnant, but event that was an emotional hour that required more sessions to put back together the pieces afterwards. It’s frustrating I know, but you have to realize that your niece isn’t in her right mind right now and is going to need some support to get back to where she needs to be. Thank you again for sharing.
there’s a girl i know she will be 20 in December, she told alot of my friend different stories about her miscarriage she also posted ultrasound pictures. when i asked her what day she miscarried and how far along she was when she found out this was her response “When I had my first ultra sound in June I found out I was 14 weeks. When I miss carried I was almost 18 weeks. My due date was to be some time between the 1st and 16th of January. It was not solidly determined…” i told her didnt make sense and she snapped and said “Well then what is the correct due date? August 16th would be about 21 weeks, September 25 weeks, October 29 weeks , November 33 weeks, December 37 weeks and all the way up to the 16 of January it would be 41 weeks and the doctor said between January 1 and 16…Not when I conceived in early April. The math is almost right. I did not have a sure due date because my pregnancy was not detected very early… I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I know what happened and how it went…”
but when i looked it up she was wrong, she claimed miscarriage on July 16 2013 and said she was 17 weeks and 4 days and posted ultrasound pictures stating they were of her 17 weeks a 1 day, 3 days before the miscarriage happened. her due date would’ve been the 30th of November this year.
I still believe she is lying cause none of her results or pictures match up to her statements, i did a reverse photo look up on all the pictures she cropped and it differently showed they weren’t her baby, 3 were of baby boys at 20 weeks and 1 of them says its a girl for sure and they are belong to different women, i knew she was lying due to a perfect foot for a 25 week old baby named McBride. im still upset because she said she would never lie and that her so called baby daddy match up wouldnt have actually been his kid if she was, there was no home test done and she told my husband and my brother she miscarried due to a bladder infection!
any advice on how to get her to admit she lied? or show her friends i wasnt lying?
In cases like this, it’s best to not try to get her to admit to lying. People do this things for many reasons, some concious, some not. Some psychopathological, some attention seeking. Because we don’t know why she is doing this, it could be more damaging to try to get her to admit that she was lying, than to just let her continue lying to herself.
Hi, your blog has been really helpful!
one of best friends is pretending to be pregnant at the moment, and the girl you talked about in this article sounds just like her. But my friend hasn’t got a boyfriend, and is saying that she got drunk with an old friend and lost her virginity. this was about a month ago. this was a lie, i know this for sure. She also lied about how she might have cancer, and told everyone at school about this. I presumed it was for attention. she also has lied about going to see her dad in Austrailia (she doesn’t know her dad). These are only a few of the many major lies she has told.
I have made an appointment with the school Councillor for tomorrow to get advice on how to deal with her lying disorder, but was wondering if you had any more advice for me? what should i do? should i tell her i have solid proof that this is all a lie? Or just go along with it. But it is getting out of hand and affecting our friendship etc.
ps. she just turned 15, is that around the age that it is common?
so im 14 and i have miscarried before.i had sex with my bestfriend missed my period then took a pregnancy test it said positive then took two more said one positive one negative.i told my bestfriend i was pregnant, then ended up going to the doctors the test said negative they made another appointment took another test and negative the doctor lady said i could have had a miscarriage. well ive been pretending to everyone that i am pregnant for 8 weeks now then ima fake a miscarriage. i have also done some messed up stuff before, like making fake people. is this a disorder? how do i get help?
Hi Katie, thank you so much for writing and I apologize that it has taken me so long to respond. I do not think you have a disorder, but I think you may need some counseling to help you deal with your situation. I am sure there is a lot more going on than you have shared, but even so, with your previous miscarriage and desire to be pregnant, there are some issues going on that need to be analyzed so that you can make better decisions and live the best life possible. I would definitely like to hear more about the people you have made up and the reasons behind it. This also doesn’t meant that you have a disorder, but more likely other underlying reasons to why you are creating people and situations that arent’ real.
I have done this, most of the time I don’t really know why.. if you would like to hear my story or ask questions you could defiantly email me. Tiffanyycurtis@gmail.com
Thank you Tiffany. I will send you an email. I would definitely like to hear your story.
I am in a difficult situation at the moment. I like the idea of being pregnant even though i am so young and like to pretend to myself that I am however after every time i have unprotected sex with my boyfriend of 3years i start to get early symptoms of pregnancy! It has happened again very strongly in the last few weeks however my boyfriend doesn’t seem to be taking me seriously because I have thought this before, even though i keep telling him this time is different and that the symptoms have been so much stronger! Is this part of my imagination mimicking pregnancy or could this be it?
Hi Jane, sorry for the delay, but I am really curious to how you are doing right now. The thing about being a young woman is, if you want to get pregnant, it’s only a matter of time before you will end up pregnant. It is quite possible that your body and imagination are mimicking signs of pregnancy. I’ve seen it happen many times, but from my experience, every teenage and young girl I worked witht hat wanted to get pregnant bad enough always ended up pregnant. Ask yourself and if you would like, share with me what it is you like about the idea of being pregnant? How do you see being pregnant and being a young mother working out for you? What does that look like? I am curious and I think answering these questions may help you uncover what it is that makes the idea of being pregnant so attractive to you. Thank you.
Ok I’m the POA for my relative. She’s 54 years old. She began claiming pregnancy 2 years ago. She met a minster and began sleeping with him. He told her he wanted a child, because his ex wife did not conceive “his” children (let’s just say he was NOT the father). The next thing I know my Aunt began stating she is having morning sickness, etc. She starts going to the doctor, her stomach got larger, she claims her breast are leaking milk, etc. She went to doctor and she claims the pregnancy test was inconclusive. She tells the minister (who also had a medical background) and he begins to doubt her. He disappears from the equation. She doesn’t stop. She continues with her shenanigans.
She goes so far as to tell the community, she is pregnant. She goes to over 20+ doctors and specialists (who tell her she’s NOT pregnant). She then claims that she is pregnant and her previous doctor left a piece of the umbilical chord in her during her last pregnancy (her last child is 25). I thought she was over this drama because I hadn’t talked to her in months. I was sick of her lies and blowing her finances each month (I’m her POA, but she tricked her employer into sending the check to her instead of me. Out of frustration, I did not fight it. I just stop dealing with her for 6 months to focus on my education. I have sense graduated and assumed everything was fine, but her daughter called me a few days ago and stated her mother is still claiming pregnancy).
An argument broke out with my relative and her daughter, as she made a comment about being pregnant and her daughter laughed and said, “The child would be a toddler. There’s no way you’re pregnant.” It has been 3 years sense she first started making these claims. Others in our family have had their children, who were pregnant after her. At first I thought to ignore it, but this may be an issue.
Here’s the problem: There is no way she can be pregnant, as it has been TOO long, she had her tubes tide and she had a hysterectomy (even though she claims it was a partial and has a piece of her uterus left. I advised her she needed the whole uterus to carry a baby). The thing is she worked at the mental hospital for over 25+ years; she is friends with everyone there and has worked at the mental hospitals in the surrounding areas. What can I do? She is taking her finances and giving it away to other people. She did not pay her medical insurance. When I allowed her to pay her bills, she promised she would pay her insurance. She even claimed that she paid it last month. I called the insurance company last week and they said she has not paid since I paid it. She LIED to me! How do I deal with this? My mother is telling me to take care of her bills, my sisters tell me she is crazy just let her do her own thing, I don’t want to see her hurt, but I don’t know what rights I have as the POA and what I can do to fix this situation.
My name is sharla Simmons an use to be close friend needs help I read your article on this And it all screams her…but the biggest issue that am worried About is someone Getting hurt most Of the lady’s you described sound young…what if this is been going on for years as young as 15 now into her 30 even more extreme stores and actions show Its getting worse
Yes that is sad. I would definitely like to hear more about your friend. People do it for many different reasons and definitely, the older they are, the more psychopathic it tends to be. I know a woman in her late forties who has been saying she is 3 month pregnant for about 6 months now. I know the reason behind this is that she really wants to be pregnant because she wants to have a baby with her new boyfriend. However, she obviously is not pregnant and I just listen to her when she tells me she is. She has a doctors appointment coming up which I am sure will confirm she is not pregnant, but that doesn’t mean it won’t stop her from being in denial over it. Like I said, I’ve seen girls get 3 different opinions from medical professionals, yet they still insisted that they were pregnant.
Is it possible for women who fake pregnancies to kidnap a baby? Also when should they see a therapist?
Yes. This is not common, but it has happened and any Google search will provide more real true life cases of incidents where women who pretended to be pregnant kidnapped or attempted to kidnap a baby in order to provide proof that they were pregnant. I would suggest seeing a therapist right away to get to the bottom of why they feel the need to pretend to be pregnant. It could be something simple or something more psychological. Either way, a therapist could help them work it out.
I found your site today by Googling the topic of faking pregnancies because I believe my 23-year-old daughter has just duped me into believing she was pregnant. She has a history of lying (VERY well) about a lot of things, but I was honestly fooled this time because I didn’t think she would lie about pregnancy. It would have been an unwanted condition to someone like her. I don’t know how to approach the issue now that I realize the ultrasound photo she sent me came from someone’s website. We spent half the day (ironically, Mother’s Day) at the emergency room after she said she was spotting; only 5 days earlier had she sent me the ultrasound image to announce that she was 10 weeks pregnant.
But the ER physician said the ultrasound shows an empty uterus, and two blood test results have 0 hCG hormones. This did not fit with the ultrasound image she had, and the doctor has advised her to see an OB/GYN rather than a crisis clinic. She was visiting me for the weekend and has now gone back to where she lives, 2 hours from me (Orlando). After she left is when I got suspicious about the ultrasound image and found it online. She has not communicated with me since then and now I’m wondering how she will “end” this pregnancy. I could not understand why she was willing to have me to take her to the ER where it’s clear she would have been told she is not pregnant. I am hurt, angry, and confused. How do I handle this with her? I see you have counseled to not try to get her to admit to lying. I know that if I tell her I know she supplied me with a bogus image, she will have some rational (to her) explanation. My presumption is that she wants the attention, and perhaps is trying to hang on to her boyfriend. I have no idea if he’s being duped as well.
Assuming she will agree to counseling, can you recommend a counselor in Orlando? Could she see you? She currently has no health insurance, but if need be, I will add her to my own. With this supposed pregnancy, she claimed she would be getting Medicaid. I am doubtful now that it will actually happen, and if she is not pregnant, she certainly won’t qualify.
Thanks for any advice.
Hi Kathy, thank you for sharing your story. This is what bothers me and takes pretending to be pregnant from simply lying to something that starts to look more pathological. The fact that she went as far as to see a doctor and get an ultra sound is reminescent of many of the young teens I saw who pretended to be pregnant and took it beyond what I would consider “normal pretending”. Most did it for attention or to keep a boyfriend as you said your daughter may be doing. It could simply be an issue of self-esteem or anxiety, but whatever the case is it most certainly at the least is neurotic and she could benefit from some counseling. I do tend to counsel against confrontation because in my experience, people who pretend to be pregnant will either get really angry and still insist they were pregnant, or they will get really embarassed and ashamed to the point they fall into a deep depression. In any case, you’re right about her needing counseling. I’m currently taking on a project working with inmates at the Marion county jail which has me putting in 12 hour days not including the hour and a half drive back and fourth, so unfortunately I wouldn’t be available to see her at this time. However I do recommend two options. One is the least expensive if money/insurance is an issue. You can take her to Lakeside Behavioral Hospital, where I used to work. It is a community hospital so it can seem a little scary, don’t worry it really isn’t, but if you go there, go to the Access center, from there your daughter will be evaluated and sent down the hall to the Adult Outpatient center where she will be assigned a therapist. I can recommend a couple of good ones if you go that route include Jarmilla, Noraliz and especially Lorrie. If you would prefer something a little more intense, then a community hospital isn’t the way to go and she would need a more private therapist which is more money/insurance, but typically something can be worked out on a sliding scale basis. I recommend Dr. Marcia Norman(http://www.drmarcianorman.com/) as I have dealt with her professionally in the past for over a year, or contacting Psychology Associates and Counseling, it’s in Metro West (407) 523-1213. They have a number of great therapists. I have professional experience with all of these referrals if you have any questions. If she is not pregnant and has a boyfriend, then chances are she will eventually get pregnant because she is trying to and if she doesn’t, she will most likey continue pretending to get pregnant as long as it has some sort of pay off for her. Please keep me in touch and let me know if there is anything else I can do for you two.
My daughter is twenty years old and has pretended to be pregnant four times in the past year and a half. I think it is a ploy to try to hang on to relationships . Today I was approached by a friend of hers telling me that she is sharing a picture of a baby in an incubator claiming it’s hers. I also noticed her getting congratulated on Facebook about her new one pound baby girl . If my math is right, she should only be four months along . Tell me how that works out. I have wondered if she has some kind of mental imbalance . We are so fed up with her pregnancy ploys. She doesn’t seem to give a damn how emotionally hurtful all of her bullshit is.
Your story sounds just like most of the cases I’ve been involved in when people pretend to be pregnant. They always find pictures on the internet of a newborn, sick babies, ultra sounds and even dead babies to pretend is theres. There is definitely an issue going on, just how deep the issue goes is the question. If it’s just about attention, then hopefully that will pass, but she may need some counseling to help her boast her self-esteem and find healthy ways of getting whatever she is trying to get out of pretending to be pregnant. If it is more pathological, then she will definitely need therapy or the lenths she will go through to prove she is/was pregnant will get worse. Remember, some people have kidnapped babies, cut babies out of another womans stomach, all because they pretended to be pregnant and had to find a way to produce a baby eventually. Those cases thankfully are rare, but the fact that it’s a reality is scary.
I just wonder when it will end. She has conned me into going to the hospital more than one to be checked out. Once to witness a “miscarriage” where they showed she was never pregnant, and this last time where she claimed she fall and they never checked to see if she was pregnant, but assured her that her “baby” will be fine.
Hey I have a question I am married (7 Years) and we have one child . when my daughter was two I wanted another child so badly but didn’t want to go behind my husbands back and get pregnant bc he felt like it wasn’t a good time to have another baby. She is now 6 and the past four years I would watch myself holding my stomach like I was pregnant I gained weight BC I ate every time someone would mentionus having another child I would go in depression mood BC he didn’t want another child. He only wants one. And I don’t want her to grow alone. How can I help myself cope with not having another baby . but deep down wanting to have one so badly . am I weird? Am I the only one that feels this way? I don’t like tell ppl I’m pregnant or pretend to go drs and stuff I just touch my stomach in private or hold it like I did with my first child.
Hi Ashley, thank you for taking the time to read and respond. You certainly aren’t the only one who feels this way and I don’t think it’s odd that you touch your stomach as you long for another pregnancy. Many women in your situation have felt this way and I feel for you. It’s hard when you want something so bad and your significant other doesn’t. Other women I have talked to have all considered divorce, tricking their husband in order to get pregnant and even having an affair. The majority of the women I have talked to that ended up the happiest chose to respect their husbands wishes and settle with only having one child. While initially it was tough, after a few years they grew into accepting their small family and “getting over” the desire to have another child. I am not saying you will “get over it”, but from my experience, the women who ended up being the happiest chose their love for their husband and their current child over the messiness of divorce or lying. Some settled into thinking that everything happens for a reason and if they were meant to have more than one child then they would have. If I were you I would talk to your husband some more, maybe go to therapy together, and then in the end decide what is most important to you. You are not weird, this is natural, I just wish you were partnered with someone who felt the same way, but since you are not, you two have to figure this out together and I really hope you come to a happy conclusion. Good luck.
I faked a pregnancy. The guy I was involved with was the love of my life. We had a terrible breakup and there was nothing in my power that I could do to get him back. Looking back, things would have probably worked themselves out if I wouldn’t have gotten so desperate, but I tried for 9 months or so to get him back with no success. The idea just kind of came to me one night. It’s not like this is something I had plotted for months, it was more of “why didn’t I think of this before – it’s bound to get his attention.” It got his attention alright, but I never planned for it to go as far as it did. We had been casually sleeping together after the breakup so he knew that it was a definite possibility that I could be pregnant. He was upset but gave me the benefit of the doubt. I used a friends sonogram from Instagram and when he was in denial about it being real, I faked a urine test. I had never planned on letting this lie continue, but things went so far that I considered suicide over of telling him the truth about what happened. I thought that I could convince him to come with me to get an abortion but he really wanted to keep it. I panicked at that point because I knew I’d either have to tell him the truth or fake a miscarriage. I faked a miscarriage and he never questioned it but his friends and family were suspicious and raised enough doubt that he started to question too. It was an ugly ugly breakup. In the end I lost him for good and really regret taking the situation to the extreme that I did. I do love him, so why would I put him through this? I know that he didn’t deserve it and that it makes me an awful person. I never imagined that he would want to be a father and the fact that he became so dedicated was so endearing. It made me love him even more and the longer I let it go, the more taxing it became on me emotionally. I dreaded when the lie would eventually come out selfishly because I wanted to keep him but also because I realized that what I was doing was a terrible thing and whether or not he ever found out the truth, he was either going to be hurt by discovering my lie or from losing his child. He proved himself to be a real keeper and I feel guilty every day about what I did to him. The sad part is though that as guilty as I felt about the situation, I probably could have kept up the lie forever. I really believe that if things worked out long term that I could make it up to him eventually somehow. We were so happy together during the time that he believed that I was pregnant. I know that I only have myself to blame – it’s my own fault that I lost and hurt him. We both have to live with my lie forever now. I don’t understand what in my head ever made me think that this ever could have worked out for the best or in my favor. I set myself up for all of this hurt and for the life of me I don’t know why. I know that this was wrong and unjustifiable, but from someone who has done this I think it was desperation and letting the situation snowball out of control that led to this. I wanted to offer you some insight as to why a person may do this. I recognize that I have some mental issues and would like to seek help; sometimes it’s really really hard to live with what I did. The only way I’ve ever been able to admit this is anonymously. I hate to even admit it to myself.
I lied about being pregnant too. Its been 7 years and I still feel guilty. I’m so thankful I didn’t end up with my ex tho. I lied at the time to keep him. I kept lying and it grew huge just because I didn’t know what else to do. I eventually got caught after I said I got an abortion and provided fake paperwork. His parents and mine met and it was a very embarrassing time for me. I still see people that were involved (his family and friends) and get embarrassed. I always wonder what they tell other people. Especially now that our circle has grown closer. I wonder if they still talk about it. How do you handle it if people talk about it?
Hi Amy, sorry for the delay, but thanks for taking the time to read and respond. How do you handle if people talk about it? Well first you can’t control if they still talk about it, so try not to worry about it. Only worry about things you can control and change. It’s been 7 years and hopefully they’ve moved on as everyone has grown a lot in 7 years. If they are still stuck on the past then that is on them. If you feel inclined to answer them you can say, “That was 7 years ago, I was going through a lot, but I am a different person now” or whatever variation of that you want. You don’t have to go into detail, you don’t have to explain yourself. Hopefully they will see you as the person you are now, not the person you were 7 years ago. No matter what, continue growing in a positive direction and let people who want to hold on to old baggage get left behind.
I never received a response. I’ve grown so much since this post, both mentally and emotionally.
I never received a response. I’ve grown so much since this post, both mentally and emotionally.
Hey I know a girl who is currently 3 weeks pregnant who for the past 3 years continually gets pregnant and “miscarries” the last time she miscarried was in January when I had just announced my pregnancy she claimed to be 8 weeks and had actually told everyone at 4 weeks, she decided a week ago to tell me she’s 2 weeks pregnant I told her to keep it between close friends until she’s past her first trimester 3 days later she announces it on Facebook and takes belly pics, tags herself at restaurants and titles the photo as cravings etc I am now 33 weeks pregnant and I feel like she’s going to overshadow the birth of my little boy with another one of her “fake miscarriages”, and it’s not just the amount of miscarriages that has got me to believe she’s faking it it’s the fact the last time she claimed to be pregnant at 6 weeks she knew she was having twins one boy one girl and she could never produce any paper work from a blood test or a sonogram and she has never shown a positive pee stick. I don’t know what to do I can’t not be her friend over something so trivial but I just don’t understand why she does it she’s not trapping a boyfriend because she doesn’t have one and she’s had that many miscarriages I.e atleast 10 that other people comment things on her photos like “sorry to say honey but you don’t show after 2 weeks if pregnancy ” and things like that
Hi I found your post while trying to find information about a girls my son dated
She lied and said she was raped, her baby then died while in her parents care aged 1.5 yrs drowned in a pool I. The back yard. She had given birth all alone with no family support.
Scary part is she did end up falling pregnant for real to me son. I guess most of these girls do someday have a baby, and sadly this child carries our DNA.
I just want to understand her lies and I worry my grandchild isn’t safe.
It’s been a terrible nearly 3 years with this girl caring for my grandchild.
I want her monitored and don’t trust my granddaughter is safe
I worry she will take the little girls life for attention. I need to know my granddaughter is safe.
I had thought the girls parents were watching her however don’t feel that I was correct to think they are taking care of her
Hi, I am so sorry this is so late. I recently took a job in a prison that is much more time consuming than I had planned. This is a tough situation. You want to be there for your grandchild without pushing the mother or she may isolate herself and your grandchild for you and you will know even less about the health/safety of your grandchild. I think the best thing you can do at this point is to be there for your grandchild the best you can be. There is only so much control you have in this situation. You have no control over your grandchild’s mother or what she does, but you can offer to baby sit as much as possible, volunteer to help out and be present as much as possible. That way you can monitor your grandchild’s health and safety as much as possible and if it ever gets to a point where you truly feel like your grandchild is in danger or is being neglected or that the mother is mentally unstable, then you can report it to child protection services, but ONLY if you have sufficient evidence because once you do that you will lose the trust of your grandchild’s mother and most likely push her away. Let her know that you are worried, that you are there to help, but don’t make it look like you are trying to tell her how to be a mother or what to do because that will only push her a way. She definitely sounds like an unstable person, but try your best to be there for her and your grandchild because they (your grandchild especially), need the best support system they can have to ensure a physically and mentally healthy child. Thank you for taking the time to read and respond. Let me know if there is anything else I can do or recommend.
I wanted to know if, as being an adult a woman pretends to be pregnant the whole 9 months, is that considered psychopathic? Although her body responds to the growth of being pregnant?
Hi, thanks for taking the time to read and respond. I don’t think pretending to be pregnant, especially for 9 months is rational. It all depends on the circumstances, such as why is the woman doing this? What gains are she getting from it? Is she getting attention from a man or friends? Is she getting a sense of purpose from it? Whatever the reasons are, pretending to be pregnant isn’t a healthy way to attain those goals. The mind is a very powerful thing and if a woman believes she is pregnant enough, it isn’t unheard of for her body to respond in certain ways, even to the point of weight gain and producing milk. That doesn’t change the fact that she is pretending to be pregnant, but speaks to the fact that her pretending to be pregnant is more than likely a product of some form of mental instability. I have seen young girls pretend to be pregnant and believed they were pregnant to the point where they truly looked pregnant and it took ultrasounds and multiple test and therapy to finally convince them there was no baby.
Thanks a lot for this wonderful blog … one thing I’ve noticed that this topic isn’t much discussed nor exploited, and there’s a lack of awareness of it within the society ..
Even on the internet, I haven’t noticed other significant articles except yours about it, anyhow .. you have still managed to be a UNIQUE source of help for those in need ..
I have a story with the girl whom I’ve lost my virginity with in some sort of a one night stand, in a foreign country “I’m an international engineering student”
This girl manipulated and abused my brain and my sympathy with her fake pregnancy theatric plays
“I ejaculated while during the protected intercourse” but discovered about the after morning pill and told her to use it she came to me the next night with one pill missing “said that she had taken in in the morning .. and then she took the second one in front of me.
She acts sick and seeks attention, she constantly keep on coming to my door step and refuse to go until i go out with her even that I told her that I have Exams , and there is no relationship between us”
one time she faked that she lost her wallet and keys in the train “while it wasn’t actually lost – i saw the wallet – ID – keys- and bank cards 2 days later”
Another day, she came claiming that she has rented a car, and gave it to her friends which disappeared and the car got stolen.
One time she came acting like she’s throwing up , and asked me “what is the date” and when i answered and replied to her asking about her period she said that she has missed it !
each time I ask her about her period afterwards she claims that she is missing it, and she keeps throwing early pregnancy signs like the will to eat strange things…
As serious as I was , as chilled and careless she was about it..” and each time i react to her pregnancy signs she replies that she’s not concerned about pregnancy.. and asks not to give attention for the case and focus on my happiness :s ”
I kept on asking her about her period .. and finally she said that she’s going for the test next day; However SUDDENLY at the exact moment she asked me: what does 2 lines on an HPT mean and then wen’t offline from chat.
I sent her a message to keep the test stripes to show them to me next day.
Next day, I met her to see the the stripes but she said that she discarded them , and that she did 2 , one came pos with a faded line and one came neg .. and then she mentioned that she never took the first pill , and that it feel to the floor in the train.
At that moment I accompanied her to the toilets with a urine test in hand, I observed the testing procedure personally and the result went NEGATIVE.
Those days I acted like really broke and poor .. and things got settled down,and the story apparently died out.
she called me one month later to go jogging with her, where she told me that she wants an intercourse .. and when I refused she was like I feel some stuff in my belly… I ignored ..
On the night of my final exams ” she knows when my exams are” she called and said that her father got a heart attack bcuz she’s pregnant.. However the pregnancy is caused by another man , and she said that she had her period one day after the urine test that i’ve done. and she’s moving back to her hometown.
I kept on investigating her FB feed, where she had posts like the following:
– “in the hospital”
– a picture of a dirty cat at someone’s boot and the picture says ” I beg you love me , I will love you in everyway !”
– ” I’m in love with a russian guy (not me)”
– “3 months pregnant”
– ” I’m a perfect actor ha ha ha”
– ” if you want me not to lie then don’t cheat”
and she never went to her hometown.
she has wrist cuts,uses a fake name and acts like she’s filthy rich but wears the same clothes everyday , she says that she wants to open restaurants and that she usually pays 1000$ for her friends to party with it.. and that anyone who would live with her will be happy.
a friend of mine told me that she did this to another guy , and claimed that she got pregnant, and attacked him with a knife in an attempt to force him to marry her.
I can tell she used the same technique with me.
and now she’s doing it to that Russian guy.
I’m that type of an analytic person , which helped me to identify her lies, but at the same time I’m still stuck and thinking about it, its almost about to destroy me and my studies.
I’ve been fighting those short comings since the beginning of 2014.
latest news , 7 months after our intercourse and 3 months from the date of her “3 month pregnant FB post” , a friend of mine said that he has seen her with a baby girl ..
Wow, sounds like you have your hands full. If I were you I would double check that baby thing just to make sure 1. It’s not really her baby and 2. If it is you aren’t the father. Other than that she sounds like a text book personality disorder, most likely borderline personality disorder or something similar. Sounds like you are doing a good job trying to stay away from her and she most likely doesn’t have a baby and you most likely don’t have anything to worry about, but when you are dealing with women like this you can never be too certain.
I pretended to be pregnant at 13 to my friends. I didn’t know why I needed to do it. My family were very distant and strict – only around 40 was I able to think about how it affected me with clarity. I have read a lot of psychology books for professionals and experienced a lot. I believe that the invented unborns turning up when girls start their periods are their “inner children” or damaged parts of their consciousness split off early in life to protect them from facing the trauma of dependence on inadequate parents. They need better parents, peer support and someone who understand
I have a sister in law that is in her late 20’s that has three young boys. She recently told everyone she was pregnant but soon lost it. We where very concerned that she needed to go to the hospital for a DNC but she said that her doctor said she didn’t need one and that she could try again without any waiting. I think that after 3 weeks she was acting like she was having morning sickness and was sticking her tummy out like she was pregnant again. She would gag like she could vomit or not eat food when in front of people. She already has 3 children that she don’t take care of and leaves with others, but is trying to become pregnant. Her youngest one is 3 and she don’t pay him much attention. Its like she is seeking attention, she acts very strange and avoids direct question in full answers. I asked her why she was sick and she would stated “do you really want to no?” then she replied I’m psychically sick. I thought that was a strange answer seeing that my brother said they where trying to get pregnant. With this being said my brother is in his 40’s and with the knowledge that she has some mental illness. I’m concerned that her desire to be pregnant is dangerous to the condition that she is trying to hide” mental illness” and to her own children. She has become obsessed with having a child to the extent that we believe that she faked the first pregnancy. We don’t no what illness she was diagnosed with but her life is quite dramatic from her first husbands abuse to giving her friends cars and taking them on trips. Perhaps you could shed some light on how we are to help her when she’s pretending to be pregnant again?
This is tough because there appears to be no doubt that there is an underlying mental illness that can be anything from bipolar disorder to borderline personality disorder. If she truly has a mental illness, then there are a number of reasons she could be pretending to be pregnant, from attention to the feeling she gets inside of thinking she is pregnant to something much more serious and psychotic. I’ve known someone with a severe mental illness who believed she was pregnant so strongly that she started having psychosomatic symptoms including a distented stomach, period cessation, swollen breasts and even was convinced she could feel the fetus moving in her stomach. If this woman is under the care of a psychiatrist or therapist, I would try to get her connected with that person to further examine what is going on with her. It may all be innocent, but you never know. Thanks again for sharing.
Thw details of my story might be much but my neighbor has a problem she has a nursery for twins or triplets (always jokes that her bf must have super sperm) she has never been prego with just one..says she has bad cervix and he is high risk bc she has lost babies in the past..all still birth.. she doesnt have any real ultrasounds..she says her insurance wont cover it but thats bs i had. No insurance. And they print them anyways. And the babies were never creamated or buried.. she said the hospital took. Care of it.. she also mentioned she was prego for 18 months.. she is on the heavier side so when she puts on maternity clothes she can look prego.. but never gets bigger.. well she went past 40 weeks wth twins supppsively her family doesnt knowabut her being prego..bc she is scared she will lose them her facebook very private.. well then she goes to doctors they tell her she is 10cm and she is going to deliver.. i told her i could pick up her bf and bring him but she said no bc they need the money and he can come after work..well she started texting me saying baby isn’t breathing they are giving her cpr etc… then she discharged her and was home two hours later..i called her out on it..after all i cooked for her when she was put on bed rest when she had preeclampsia and helped put away baby clothes etc decorate everything..she didn’t try to convince me..her bf came toTalk to me and he was mad at me even when explained all the bullshit.. this woman is 25 i think she needs help.. but she won’t admit she is sick…she won’t talk to me
I could go on and on.. but what do i do? Is there. Anything i can do?
I also called hospital used her full name she said no one was there With that name all day
Hi, thanks so much for taking the time to read and respond! It sounds like this woman needs some serious help. I don’t think there is anything you can really do except try to refer her to some help. She needs to see a therapist to see why she is continuing to lie about being pregnant and going through such great lengths to convince people she was pregnant. It’s possible she has a mental illness, a personality disorder or just the need for attention (which can also be part of a personality disorder). Whatever the case is, you can be there for your friend, but if she doesn’t get help you have to except that this is just part of who she is and it is in my opinion, a sickness that she may not even be aware that she has. You’ll just have to decide if it’s something you are willing to deal with or not if she isn’t willing to get help. Thank you.
Well, I’m actually in this situation at the moment. I told my friends, mum & dad &teachers that I was pregnant and they believed me. My mum has decided to ring school tomorrow to tell then I’m lying but I don’t know if I should own up or just keep it going even after my mum would’ve told them. To be honest I don’t know why I lied about it. Maybe because either I thought I was or I really want to be. I don’t wish for anyone to find out that I’m lying but there’s no stopping my mum after she gave me a chance to do it myself. I still insist on buying all these baby stuff even though Its been proved that its a lie. I feel like I need to for sine reason. I probably need help of some kind . I guess I just have to brace what’s coming for me tomorrow and tell the truth. But what If I carry on the lie? What would happen? I just thought I’d ask for advice. I’m carrying it on with my friends but I obviously can’t with my teachers anymore. I need help 😐
I have a cousin who has faked being pregnant 4 times that I know of. Everytime she does this I want to believe that she is. She comes up with names, due dates, etc. I’m really concerned she has a mental disorder. Our family including her mother knows that she does this, but no one suggest that she needs help. She is a pathological liar. And keeps up with the lies til she can’t anymore. She doesn’t have any friends and I think that’s why I feel the need to just go along with it. I’m the only 1 of the cousins that really talks to her and I know that if I confront her as I did the 1st time she won’t talk to me for awhile. I just need some help on convincing her to get help w/o her just completely shutting me out. Any advice??
At 14 years I told my boyfriend I was pregnant as I missed a period. My boyfriend told his friend. I had my period and said I thought I miscarried. I was very upset I was not pregnant I made up a lie I had been to the gp as my upset was easier to explain. But on reflection I did not want to go gp as I did not want to know in case he said no. At the time I had been seperated from 3 younger siblings who I cared for through parental divorce. And lived with my alcoholic father who was never home. I did want a baby to feel as though I belonged and safe again. My then boyfriend is now my husband and we had first baby at 17 years. Now at 30 years it still anxiety provoking when I think of the lie I told also having regrets of not going to the doctors. As a social worker working with care leavers I’ve come across girls saying they are pregnant when they know they are not. I use holistic approach to look for the motivators for the lie for example stay in relationship. Safety from partners. Belonging. Get out of college. And in some in the hope they have accommodation quicker. It is an area that needs research.
Hi, thanks for sharing your story and your knowledge. It is an area that needs research as it is something that affects many people, especially teenagers and young adults. The motives for the lies are interesting, but they sometimes cause real psychological and emotional damage to not only the woman telling the lie, but the people involved in her life. I really appreciate your comment and contributing to this topic.
This is a helpful article to read with my current situation. I have a friend, we are both 17. When I told her that I had a boyfriend, she told me that she did too. She told me they have been dating for a while. I had doubts from the start and it got worse. Every time I asked to meet him she’d say he was traveling and whenever he’d “show up” at her house it was either right before I got there or right after I left. She said he was 20, and that he moved to London and he wanted her to move with him. Whenever we’re together, she “gets a call from him” and I can clearly see that her phone is blank and she’s talking to no one. Also she claims he has an extravagant lifestyle. Private planes, fancy dinners, money to waste on things like apartments and cars…anyway, now she claims that she is 3 months pregnant and I don’t believe it. She said she wasn’t allowed to tell me until later and that she has a high chance she will miscarry. She said her guy was looking at apartments in Chicago, one specifically with a nursery for her. She looks at homes online and when we got home from Christmas shopping, there was a note on her bed. “From him” it was a clue as to where they were going out but it was written in a slanted, neater version of her own handwriting. The pregnancy thing got worse and she texted me last week and told me that it was twins. But she’s a stick and hasn’t gained any weight and I don’t know what to do about it anymore. It’s getting way out of hand and I’m even annoyed to hang out with her since its all she talks about.
Thank you for taking the time to read and respond. Sounds like your friend has some issues and unfortunately there’s not much you can do about it until and if she ever comes clean. In the mean time you just have to decide how much of it you want to put up with. It will be hard being friends if you think she is a compulsive liar.
I have a friend around 19yrs of age. She keeps telling her family and friends she is Pregnant then tells them she is miscarriages. She has done this about 10 times and the sad part is she makes them believe which causes them to be very upset. About 2weeks after she tells everyone she miscarriages she messages asking my signs of pregnancy, what to expect, she is late, or pregnant again. Now, for myself I have a 16month old child should I worry for his safety? It worries me because she makes herself believe all this and I read about it being a illness. I feel she is a compulsive liar and faking death of an unborn child is very sick. Then to make her ex boy, current boyfriend and all their families believe she miscarriage is truly sad. What you recommend for her? I’ve told her she needs to stop Google pregnancy symptoms.
Hi, thanks for reading and responding. It sounds to me like your friend has a problem, but it definitely seems more like a personality problem than a mental problem. I don’t think that you have to be afraid to have your child around her, the only thing that may encourage if anything is her to continue to lie about being pregnant. I wonder, was she like this before you got pregnant? Chances are that she wants a baby really bad and eventually she will get one. I am just curious to if her desire to be pregnant started before you or any of her other friends were pregnant?
Hi,im from phils.and i was searching some hospitals that can have a baby girl to adopt bcoz my husband will arrive this May and will ask for his new born baby of course until i saw this blogs of yours,i was pretending to be pregnant too it is bcoz i didnt tell to my husband that i was miscarriage last january which is too bad for me bcoz i dont want to disappoint my husband bcoz he really love the baby thoughts that still in my womb,even i was so desperately seeking new born baby to present to my husband just to make him happy,is it mentally disorder?i cant tell him we lost the baby but still i am really still pretending to be pregnant.
You’re grieving, it’s not a mental disorder, but tell your husband the truth and then go get counseling for the both of you. What you are going through right now is normal, but if you go through any other measures to continue the lie it will quickly become abnormal. I’m sorry for your loss, but through counseling and your relationship with your husband, you guys will get through this and possibly try again.
I have been diagnosed with BPD. I have been in recovery for almost a year and recently had some serious relapses. When I was much younger I lied about being pregnant to keep a man in my life, that failed. Then recently I lied again to a man who used me for sex (leading me on the entire time) by saying I was pregnant with his child. I googled this right away because I needed to keep myself from going any further with it. Being Borderline means I struggle greatly with impulse control, and I happen to have an emotionally traumatic history of being mistreated by men. When I lied recently, it was to a man who lead me on, played serious headgames and dumped me suddenly. He called me names and degraded me. I was so angry but I had to let it go. I had been doing well with it until suddenly I became suffocated by anger and resentment towards him. My therapist had recently switched clinics and I’ve been without care for over a month now. She was like my right arm, working with her helped me to get over some extremely difficult aspects of his disorder and I -almost- felt normal for a while. Now Im not feeling so good. I don’t plan on taking this issue any further with this guy. I plan on abruptly ignoring him and trying to get back on track with my recovery. But I felt like I needed to comment. There is alot of feedback in disgust over people who do these kinds of things. But I bet you a small percentrage of them have BPD or traits of it. People who lie about this kind of stuff arent inherently evil or psychotic as you describe. Politicians lie about worse LOL. Though I dont think its okay, this is not justifiable behavior by any means. But there -is- a reason behind it for some people- it comes from a very dark place of being very alone and tired of being used. For some, for others… I cant say why they do it.There is a common misconception that someone who lies or manipulates to keep someone intheir life is somehow the worst person on the planet. Its more out of desperation and fear of being alone. Is it selfish? Absolutely. But ti dosent make them the scum of the earth either.
Thank you for your comment and your insight. I agree that many people who lie about being pregnant have some type of disorder and BPD is likely a great percentage of that. People do desperate things to keep from being alone and to keep people with them and I don’t believe that they are evil, but they do need to get help so that they can understand how to feel whole without another person, otherwise they will always be susceptible to going to extreme measures to avoid feeling abandoned or alone. Thanks again, your comment will help many.
A friend of mine is 13, she had said she was pregnant before but it was an “internal pregnancy”, which most are, but that was why she said you couldn’t see the baby bump. Then she said she had it but she gave it to her sister, she never gave us pictures or anything. It’s been a few months since then but now she is saying she is pregnant again, 10 weeks to be exact, her mom by the way is also pregnant, about 8-10 weeks also. She keeps trying to pretend like she’s showing but she looks the same, she has lied numerous times in the past about all kinds of things, i don’t know how far she’s willing to go to make it so it seems true, but she isn’t a good liar and always lies about everything. I don’t know what to do.
There’s not anything you can really do except allow her to live her lie. She’s currently not in this reality, she is creating her own fantasy world so don’t get dragged into it or you will just be left confused and angry. Hopefully eventually this will pass. In teenage girls this is often a condition of hormones and social issues that will hopefully pass. It’s much more worrisome when grown women do this. Just be her friend and hopefully she’ll come back to reality.
Hi, this is my story: I wonder what you think.
Early last November my son Alex, 23, tried to kill himself. He’d just flown the nest (in August) and was in good spirits as he settled into his new house. But shortly after he moved in he had started a ‘relationship’ with his cousin Lola, who is 29 and married with five children. She had recently told him she was pregnant. This must have been a terrible shock to Alex, especially has she had told him she had been sterilised. He was obviously desperate for her to end the pregnancy, and, having already cancelled a couple of abortion clinic appointments, she did finally did go. Alex had gone with her, but she had sent him away, telling him she didn’t need him there, but afterwards told him that she had changed her mind, that she couldn’t go through with it. Alex was devastated and tried to drown himself in the river (he can’t swim). After that he blocked her calls and broke off all contact with her and I took over the communication (always by text) – I had to protect him from her.
Initially she told me she would have the abortion, but then a few days later I was shocked to get a text from her saying that she had been beaten up by her husband, had broken ribs and bruising, and that a doctor had told her that the abortion would have to be postponed until the swelling had subsided. I assumed that her husband had found out that she’d been seeing Alex, but, bizarrely, she told me that her husband wanted her to keep the baby and was beating her because she had told him she was having an abortion. (‘Because he saw what it did to me having had two miscarriages – he cares about me’). I thought this was very strange – he beat her because he cares??? She kept saying that she loved Alex and cared about him and would give everything up for him. She wanted a fresh start with him, that she needed his support through this.
A couple of weeks later she told me that the ‘swelling’ had still not gone down and that she would need an operation to repair her damaged ovary, and that it would have to be done privately because it wasn’t ‘standard’. She said, ‘I need £6225 for everything, it’s a lot I haven’t even got 1/3 of that’. I was shocked at the cost. She said it was so much because the operation was ‘high risk’ because of all her health complications – the swelling, that she’s diabetic, and her previous c-sections. But if she didn’t go private she would have to ‘wait for the swelling to go down’ by which time it may be too late to have an abortion. ‘Ask Alex to call me and I’ll explain’.
This all seemed very strange and I started getting suspicious. But I went along with it and said I would help her pay for the operation. I told her I only had £4000, and she said her mum would pay the rest. I said I would pay the money directly to the hospital, but she wanted me to pay it directly to her bank account! By now it was obvious that she was lying, especially after a call to the hospital – a chat with a practise nurse about what she had been telling me confirmed my suspicions. When I confronted her she said ‘That’s it, I am gong to keep the baby 100%. All I wanted was for Alex to love me like I did him, not shut me out like this.’ Then her tone became threatening, saying she needed to talk to Alex to discuss what he he’s prepared to do to support his baby. ‘I thought he loved me enough to be there. I can’t do it without him. If Alex really did love me and doesn’t want me to have the baby then he can contact me and support me through it. If he gave me another chance the baby would be gone’.
Now I was faced with the question: if she was lying about this operation to get money out of me, did it mean she was lying about the pregnancy as well? Was her intention originally to get money out of Alex? Is the whole pregnancy thing a scam? I decided that she probably wasn’t pregnant, that was a lie as well. Maybe the scan photo she’d sent him was an old one. When I told Alex he was hugely relieved – it hadn’t occurred to him that she might be lying. But there was still a nagging doubt – she could still be pregnant. I reasoned that surely no-one would take a lie that far, especially after Alex’s suicide attempt.
The next day she told me she had a hospital appointment with a consultant the next morning but didn’t respond when I asked her how it went. Now I had a real gut feeling that the pregnancy was a lie. I confronted her again, texting: ‘You’re not pregnant, are you.’ ‘Yes, I am, would you like to see a scan picture of your grandchild?’ No picture came. Then she said she had another appointment next week. ‘Hopefully my blood pressure will have decreased enough and my consultant can do the referral. Alex is welcome to come with me.’ Then later she texted me to say that she had decided that she couldn’t go through the abortion without Alex. ‘I am sorry but without any support, there was no choice, so scared and confused without him.’
After this I blocked her and tried to forget the whole thing. Then, on the day before Christmas Eve, I got a text from someone claiming to be Lola’s mother, saying that her daughter needed to contact Alex. This shocked and disturbed me and ruined my Christmas. I started to doubt. What if it really was her mother, and what if she really is pregnant? Then a few weeks ago I had an e-mail from her, saying that April is coming round fast and she really needed to contact Alex before the due date. Surely no-one would carry on a lie to this extent, I thought, maybe she really is pregnant.
Last week, wondering whether there might be a clue on her Facebook page, I looked it up. She had posted a photo of herself with a newborn baby and I nearly fainted. But when I looked at the comments, someone had asked her if it was an old photo, and she said yes, it was an old photo of one of her children. When the person replied that they had thought it was a new addition, she said ‘oh no, I’m not having any more, I’ve been sterilised’. She must have put the photo there on purpose, hoping I or Alex would see it, or hear about it.
How could anyone do this? She put us through hell. She must be seriously mentally ill. Thanks for reading this, I would love to hear your comments.
It sounds as if she was never pregnant and maybe was doing all of this for attention and money. Why do people go through all of this? Who knows, but I would guess that she has some type of personality disorder or at least some traits of a personality disorder and it’s a good thing that neither you or your son fell deeply into her trap. Unfortunately your son made a suicide attempt because of it, but at least he is alive and well. If I were you and your son I would stay far away from this woman as she is severely mentally ill and will only cause you both heartache and pain as you already know. Good luck.
Hi. I too have faked multiple pregnancies. It started my first year in high school when I “fell in love” with a boy and desperately wanted to keep him. I continued the lie for months. Telling teachers, friends, his family.. all while trying to keep it from my family. My family would hear rumors and I would just deny it and say that people were making it up. When my family told everyone that I wasn’t pregnant I told everyone that my family just wouldnt admit it because they were embarrassed. long story short that did NOT go well and it causes me a lot more harm then just simply not being with the boy could have caused. I have since then, despite what happened before, lied about being pregnant multiple times. I would just say that I miscarried and go on with my life. Recently I got into another relationship and faked a pregnancy again. This boy handled the situation completely different and instead of wanting to keep quiet about it like the previous boy, he wanted to tell his mom and that worried me which caused him to get skeptical. He would ask me to take a test and I would deny. I never allowed him to go to “appointments”. I lied to everyone and it caused me once again to lose friends and everyone’s trust. I have since then convinced myself that I may be pregnant even though I had negative test and my period. Deep down I know that having a baby isn’t what I need right now but I can’t help but to wish that I was pregnant. I just want to be able to stop feeling this way… I don’t know why I do it. especially knowing that it always ends badly. After the first fake pregnancy incident I babysat a baby boy and soon got attactched to him and would say that he was my baby just so I wouldn’t get called a liar. which ultimately made me look like even more of a liar. I also catch myself making up people. Like telling people that I have older siblings, faking boyfriends, etc. Why do I do this? I know its wrong and I hate living with this guilt and embarrassment. its keeping me from living life…
Growing up, I used to make up people too, especially girlfriends. It’s not all bad. If your are a creative person (artist/writer) it can just be your imagination getting out of hand. However, if you need help controlling this I think you should go to therapy. Something in your life is making you feel like you need a baby or other people to complete you, make you feel something. I’m not sure what it is. Attention and love may be just two of many things it can be. Maybe you don’t want to feel lonely, or you want to feel needed. Whatever you are missing, you’re not going to get it by making up people, pregnancies or even getting pregnant. You have to fix it yourself so that you can have better, REAL relationships without the lies and stories. Do you journal? Try that until you get a therapist. I don’t think you’re crazy or need medication, but I do think that you need someone to talk to.
hi i’m 18 and i’m a student at UNISA I NEED HELP IN THE PAST TWO YEARS I FAKED PREGNANCY TWICE.AT FIRST I TOLD MY BOYFRIEND THAT I HAD A MISCARRAGE WHILE I WAS HOME DURING SCHOOL HOLIDAYS AND HE BELIEVED ME. AT THE SECOND TIME I TOLD HIM I’M PREGNANT AND FAKED A PREGNANCY TEST HE ALSO BELIEVED ME. HE STARTED CHEATING ON ME WITH ANOTHER CHIC AT THE CAMPUS AND I WAS VERY HURT AND NEVER CARED. WHAT I DID IS I GOOGLED AN ABORTION FORM FILLED IT AND GAVE IT TO HIM. HE’S VERY HURT AND HE BLAME HIMSELF ABOUT WHAT I DID. I DID NOT MEAN TO HURT HIM ALL I WANTED WAS TO PAY A REVENGE THAT HE CHEATED ON ME. I ALSO THINK I HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM PLEASE HELP ME
There should be a counseling center on campus and I would advise you to look into that. Many people fake pregnancies for various reasons and it’s good that you feel bad about what you did and you know why you did it. The tough part now is to be honest with him. It may hurt you to tell him the truth, but it will allow him to get over the pain he is feeling and it will allow you to move on from this lie. No matter what happens I would encourage you to seek counseling on campus if it is available, especially if it’s free.
My sister in law (28 yr old) claims that she was pregnant with twin even sent out ultrasounds to the boyfriend and his family. Said that she got pregnant in Feb started telling his family and her friends in March. Right after mothers day the boyfriend canceled a date with her because his son had ended up in the emergency room, thus she stating that she was on her way to the emergency room in the next city and wanted him to come because she believed she was having a miscarriage(at 10 weeks), he did not go to her. My sister in law lives with me and I did not find out until a week ago, now she has lost the other one when confronted about the pregnancy by her family (a mutual friend told me). On the same day that she supposedly received news about the miscarriage (13-15 weeks pregnant) had the birth control implanon inserted and was told that her hormone levels of testosterone and estrogen levels was non existent. We live in a small town and never get test results immediately and there was no evidence of any blood being drawn. The whole reason I suspect that this is a lie is because the story she told the mutual friend that was told to me and read the text messages from her was not the same story I received when I asked her about the pregnancy. I went through the computer and found downloaded ultrasounds off Google and the ultrasounds were then altered to have her name, Dr’s office, and date on them. She keeps everything and there is no paperwork from a doctor nor ultrasounds except on the computer. Also, she has pcos and absent mentrusal cycle there has not been any increase of sanitary products being used in facthe no pads at all only use of tampons. She has also been in a fairly decent mood with no depression. My question is being this if being this far along would she not need a d&c, closely monitoring, and be depressed or emotional. With this lie what comes next in the circle of lies what else could she fake with more extreme since this one has lasted for almost 4 months. Should I be concerned for minexpensive and my sons safety.
Very interesting situation, but the bottom line is that I don’t think you should be too concerned. Most people who fake pregnancies are harmless other than the emotional toll they take on those around them.
my husband of 9years left me just because i could not give him A child, i did all i could to make sure i give him a child, i even went to an extent of forcing him to have sex with me every night but could not work. not untill one evening when i was browsing through the internet, i saw a comment on how a woman in same problem like mine was made home by A man called Dr onofe. i read about him and decided to contact him for help, i did as he ask me to do but i was still wondering how can someone just bring back my love he don’t even know but i keep doing as he ask me to do. i was very surprise one morning my husband came and started begging me to come back to his life. at first i pretend to be angry then i accepted him back. Dr onofe also cast a spell for me to make me have children and as i speak right now i am a mother with 3kids. if there is any one out there who needs his help you can contact him through his personal EMAIL: onofetemple@yahoo. or website: http://onofetemple.wix.com/http com i wish you good luck
Hello, I have a similar situation. My sister in law faked a pregnancy, but did not tell her immediate family at all, including me. She gained weight, carried an ultrasound picture with her, let people touch her stomach even had a fake labor story when she “gave” birth. I was pregnant with her niece at the time she was “pregnant”. I did not know any of this until her ex boyfriends(“the baby’s dad”) sister contacted me. she showed me all the messages from my sister in law, claiming that my baby was hers and her brothers, she sent pictures out to multiple people. She even sent me the ones where she said she had lost the baby because the umbilical cord was wrapped around its neck. Then she recanted the story about losing the baby because she didn’t want her baby’s “dad” to be in the picture since he was a bad influence(he didn’t want to be with her anymore, and I guess faking a pregnancy was to keep him). They believed her for a good couple of months and her ex’s mom even got a second job to buy “her” granddaughter the essentials. She broke it off with her ex for good but kept receiving money from him to support “their” baby. She moved on a month later and found a new boyfriend. While claiming my child is hers, while with him,(this is the time I found out). Her new boyfriend doesn’t know any of this. And I continue to get messages from her friends confused if that is her baby or mine?
I recently met a guy on eharmony and we talked on the phone long distance for hours everyday. I started to fall for him, and he was planning on coming up to Seattle from SoCal in a month to visit, but it was hard for me to wait and keep talking because I had never met him! I told him I was 90% sure, but needed to meet him in person to feel him out for that other 10%; so I broke it off with him and told him if he ever comes to Seattle to give a kid a call.
Well, a few weeks later I was in Cali on vacation and a good friend of mine encouraged me to contact him and see it through, because I was still so interested! He responded and felt the same and had work, so couldn’t come up and visit, so I just decided to drive 8 hours to see him, to see if we are a good match and could continue long distance. Well, I got there and he scared the shit out of me with his excitement and he started saying, when I kiss you, I feel like I’m kissing my wife!
So, I have PTSD and have been working through some issues with my therapist, but I got triggered and kinda took control and just said, “okay, let’s have sex”, (however I intended to NOT have sex and just figure out if we could be a good fit!) And he said – of course and didn’t want to wear a condom, but I made him – he said it would be okay for me to have kids – he wanted to impregnate me!
At one point the condom came off and he ejaculated inside of me – now I have an irregular period, so I have no idea when I ovulate. I left and we broke it off because he said that I’m too old (I’m 33), and he wanted to make sure he had kids and that he wanted to start again with a gal in the church and not have a physical relationship first. Well, even though we had a shitty crazy rough start, I still fell for the guy I could talk to for hours – so confessed that I chose him and want to continue – I was super vulnerable. But, he said no way and was kinda a jerk.
So, I told him to fuck off and deal with his shit and if he ever wanted to talk to me again then he had to get himself together, stop blaming me for his lack of self-control, (50% is my fault – I gave in b/c I was triggered!), but he has to own his part. And he would have to want to pursue marriage if he contacted me, as well. So, it’s been almost 3 weeks and I’ve been having pregnancy-like symptoms and am going to get a blood test – he knows nothing of this – because I only want to contact him if I’m really preggers. I also realize that all of the symptoms I’m having could be stress-induced as well – it’s up in the air! However, I’ve been a little obsessive about my possibly being pregnant – a little scary – but I think it might be like a temporary psychosis thing? I go back and forth between – I’m pregnant/I’m not – and have no idea what is going on at this point, and wonder if I’m trying to keep him near by imagining things. Anyways, I get my blood test tomorrow!
What were the results of your blood test? I am very worried about you. The way you describe this relationship and your PTSD makes me wonder if perhaps you should be under the care of a mental health profession and possible on some medication to help keep you from making sporadic, irrational decisions. It also sounds like there could be something other than PTSD driving this chaotic experience you describe. I’m just worried that you are potentially setting yourself up for future destruction, if that makes sense.
I am dealing with the same situation but with my 12 year old daughter. A little background, she has never met her real father. Me and her mother have been married for 5 years and have been together for 8. She calls me dad, and I have been the only father figure in her life for 8 years. I am her Dad. She is the most amazing girl. Smart, honor roll student, funny, we’ll mannered, everything you could ask for in a kid. My mother in law spoils her with anything she wants and at times makes it very difficult for us to parent her and teach her responsibility. That is a different story that I could go on for hours.Within the last year, she started cutting herself and would tell us that she fell. She never cut the inside of her wrist, just the outsides. We found out through her friends, which are some of the greatest friends I have ever seen. They do not talk to her anymore, because she would constantly lie to them and tell them that she is going to cut again. We were floored to find this all out so we began counseling for her with the hopes that she would be able to get everything off of her chest. I get the impression that counseling is not working or she is lying to the counselor to not talk about what is going on. Now, she is telling her friends that she is pregnant and that she has a 19 year old boyfriend. She is telling them that she is drinking and doing drugs. All of this is not true. Today, we get a call from her school counselor, stating they got a message from the anonymous hotline they have available for kids and parents that she is pregnant and doing drugs. We are so concerned and stuck on what to do next. Do we need to take her in for a psych evaluation? Or do we need to find a different method on how to help her? If anybody has any advice, please tell me. I love her so much and just want her to be a happy kid.
Hi, thank you for sharing your story. A psychological evaluation never hurts. A thorough one will most likely uncover some hidden issues your daughter may be dealing with. I also think it may be a good idea to take your daughter to a different counselor. I’m not diagnosing your daughter, but with what you described I would take her to someone who specializes in dialectical behavioral therapy and/or borderline personality disorder. Not to say that your daughter has BPD, but she is exhibiting some symptoms that could be helped with the same treatments used with people who do have borderline personality disorder. There are a number of reasons she can be displaying these behaviors, some she may not even be aware or fully in control of, but the sooner it gets figured out and appropriately handled, the less likely it is to cause serious damage or develop into something worse. Good luck, and let me know what happens.
So I don’t even know where to start with this one but I am becoming very concerned with my sister and her well being not quite sure what it is that I should do. Apparently she has been pregnant 3 times and not a single baby has been seen. She is 21 now. Her first one went pretty quick. She was 18 at the time. Claimed to miscarry in the first couple months. So suddenly but no one could get her to take a pregnancy test or anything. So my family moves on.
The second time around (February.2013 when she called) she called me when I had came back from my grandfathers funeral out of state told be she was 8 weeks pregnant, which I will admit I was a little furious about because she had just seeing this guy 9 weeks earlier so I was upset she was so careless. Not to mention her boyfriend (who she is still with today) is 11 years older, but that’s beside the point. Anyways were all excited for her at this time I had my first child she was 5 months old so I was excited for her to have a little cousin. Well some time goes by and suddenly her due date was not until November 2013. (Now if you look back to February she was 8 weeks at that time) so in some super abnormal situation my sister would have a year long pregnancy. Well anyways, September of 2013 comes around and she come up to visit our grandma ( now my sister is really overweight so you cannot tell whether or not she is pregnant), she’s not acting like any normal pregnant mother would act. She tells me her and her boyfriend are moving back up to Phoenix from Tucson that they are not going back to Tucson yet they have nothing in the car for babies aside from strangely 2 strollers, no car seats, no clothes anything. So I offer her some things I no longer use for my daughter to help her out yet she refuses to take any of it. Aside from that she never talked about her pregnancy or feeling the baby move or anything and she lays flat on her stomach. So I found that odd. After this visit with her I started to question her pregnancy. She had never shown us any ultrasounds or anything. Wel as she was not going back to Tucson and had no where to stay I said she could stay with me for a while and so she did, however she would never go to the doctor for checkups on her pregnancy. Well November comes around and she won’t go to the hospital insisted on waitingn for her boyfriend, 2 weeks go by and I’m begging her to let me take her in because she 2 weeks past her due date. Same story she wants to wait. Well then 2 months go by and still no baby. So I call her and tell her are you going to go or is my nephew going to be dead because you refuse to go. She says I went to the hospital and they said “they couldn’t find a heartbeat so I have to go back to be induced” I’m thinking ok that’s weird if the baby is dead then they wouldn’t let her leave the hospital until the baby is born. Well then for some reason she ends up in jail some short time after that and she wrote a letter to my grandma, by this time my daughter was 18 months and had passed away from SUDC. My sister writes about her condolences to me about that. But also she wrote saying to my grandma “I went to the doctor they said they didn’t think the baby was going to make it and so I had to go back to be induced but I got arrested first so didn’t make my appointment so I had the baby in jail and they tried to get ahold of Anthony but couldn’t find him to see what he was going to do with the remains” 2nd story well then she gets out and tells my oldest sister that she had “got into an arguement with her boyfriend the night she went to jail he pushed her and she fell on her stomach and and the baby died of brain hemorrhage” well like I said my daughter passed away and it was 4 months before I got a COD so why in a much shorter time (while she was in jail) did she know why her baby died? So 3rd story from her. With this one I was furious because I lost my baby and I know what it feels like and here she is lying like it is a game. Nothing she said or did throughout her “pregnancy” made sense. And then a month or so passes and we never hear about it again. Unless we’d bring it up and shed still swear she was pregnant. I never got over her lie so I was very distant with her.
So now we come to her most recent pregnancy that just ended today. November 2014 she posts a picture on Facebook of a pregnancy test from a clinic saying she was due May 28, 2015. I myself was skeptical from the beginning and never believed she was pregnant because of what we just went through with her last one. And everyone in my family would tell me to stop being negative and to stop being a b***h. I’m sorry but her last lie was a little to personal for me. Well again a few months go by and again her due date changes to July 13 my cousins birthday so it was easy for me to remember. But again I’m skeptical. I have had two kids now (was 3 months prego when my oldest died) and am pregnant with my 3rd (all girls 😊) and I know how the pregnancy goes and the doctor visits and how they determine your due date, so I know they wouldn’t miscalculate by 2 months. Even with this last pregnancy I myself didn’t go to the doctor until I was 16 weeks and they told me “we measure the head back and legs to determine your due date or to get a more exact dd if your going off last menstrual cycle now” so yes maybe they could be off a week maybe 2 but not 2 months. Well July comes and goes and she said they “got the due date wrong the baby hasn’t turned yet” so now she wasn’t due until the end of August. (Again a bunch of bull). Well last Friday, she tells everyone she had her membranes stopped and within the next 72 hours she should go into labor and if not she goes in on Monday to be induced. Well Monday was Labor Day. And she says the cab wasn’t running so she could go. (Cabs don’t even stop running on Christmas) so she’s going in on Friday. (Yesterday) at 10am. So we all start calling the hospitals. We found her there she was admitted to the emergency room. She’s sending us pictures of her armband her iv and an ultrasound machine and of her holding her belly. Well then about 2pm I call to see if she’s been sent to L&D yet as it’s been four hours and it has never taken that long for me and sure enough she was discharged. I try to ask why she was there and discharged as she’s supposed to be getting induced and the nurse tells me “it sounds like you need to talk to your sister she was discharged I can’t give any more information” well my older sister talks to her today. As it was the first time she could get a hold of her since 2 yesterday. She tells her “they said there is no heartbeat and the transferred me to another hospital” well we called all the hospitals around her and there’s no records of her being anywhere else so my sister tells her “they said you were discharged not transferred” and my little sister say that “I wanted a second opinion so I asked to be discharged and went to a different hospital I should be going home tonight” so I’m like omg here we go again. Then about an hour ago she says “I gave birth she was stillborn and I just got home” so in a matter of hours she gave birth and went home. I don’t know if anyone has even gone home after birth in under 24 hours you would think they’d want to make sure physically and emotionally she’s ok before she is sent home. So I am at a loss for words I do not know what to do. And she doesn’t want to talk to anyone as no one could understand what she is going through. That her and her boyfriend at going through it. She won’t answer any questions or tell us what hospital she went to. And now we’re here 3 pregnancies no babies 1 miscarriage 1 died of brain hemorrhage and 1 stillborn and no document of any sort to go with these stories. I just wish I knew what to do for her. Any advice.?. What are your thoughts.?.
Sorry for the length but I am worried
Hi, I’ve only ever admitted this to one person before and to this day I wish I could come clean about the whole story but it was never meant to go that far.
I had just moved into a shared block full of other young people my age (16-26) in a new town.
I moved away for a fresh start and decided I could be whoever I wanted to be.
I made some very nice friends which was new to me because I had always been bullied growing up.
One day everyone seemed a little distant and looking back, they were probably hungover as we all went out the night before but o was worried about losing friends again so I justvstarted crying and I couldn’t stop myself. Every one kept asking me what was wrong but I couldn’t tell them because I didn’t know
They kept asking over and over and out the corner of my eye I noticed one of them real life stories magazines and the front cover was about someone’s baby dying.
So I said my baby was in hospital, they said they didn’t know I had a kid and I said I don’t tell people because I was young and have her up for adoption. They all gave my sympathy and hung around me for the next few days and theu kept asking more and more questions and I had to keep answering them in hopes I didn’t slip up. I eventually thought it had gone too far and wanted to end it so I told everyone she had passed away and that was the end of that. I knew what I did was wrong but one quick lie turned into something massive.
I always say to people who lie about pregnancy and having babies that I won’t be mad at them and I understand there are lots of reasons people do it.
Since then people try to bring it up to me but I just say I don’t wanna talk about it… It was a big lie that I shouldn’t have told in the first place.but there’s no going back on it now and I’m too worried about the horrible reputation I’d get when I moved to this place to get away from name calling and bullies.
I am 35 years old married for 4 years. I have a career, beautiful home, great family and friends. I faked a pregnancy for the past 11 months. I printed the ultra sounds online, made fake dr appointments, had a baby shower with 35 friends and family, decorated a nursery with my husband and even picked out a name. I gained 35 pounds, had morning sickness and my ankles even would swell at night. I looked and felt pregnant. In the back of my mind I knew I wasn’t but it was very real to me. My end game was always that I was going to commit suicide at the end of the 9 months. Well the day my ” scheduled c section” was supposed to happen my husband took the day off work, both of our parents had started on the 2 hour drive to the hospital and I took a bottle of Benadryl and snuck out of the house about 6am. I drove around and around trying to get up the courage to run my car off the road.. About 4 hours later I finally did but it was a pretty crappy suicide attempt. My car was totaled but I didn’t have a scratch on me. Of course the truth came out at that time. It’s been a month now. I’ve been seeing a counselor and the psychologist at the hospital ruled me not suicidal. She said it was just a cry for help. My husband filed for divorce 5 days later and packed all my things and delivered them to my parents. I haven’t heard from him since the day he saw me in the hospital after the accident. I’ve had to leave my job, home and entire life behind. I will never understand why I did these things. I wish someone could tell me. I don’t know how to apologize to everyone I lied too. Return the housing of dollars of baby things and gifts we had or to make my husband understand I wasn’t in my right mind.. Maybe I’m just crazy. . .
I have been pretending to be pregnant to different guys for 10 years. I’m 26 now and this started at 16. Almost every time there has been a completely unbearable fear of dealing with abandonment and I’ve clasped on to this.
I’m logical and rational in almost every way, with a great deal of compassion, so I despise this part of me. Sometimes the guilt and shame consumes me to the point I’m suicidal but when I’m in the moment I can’t stop myself. I’ve considered that I am a psychopath but I do not lack empathy at all, I’m consumed with it.
Why do I love the thought of sharing the closeness of creating a child with someone? It’s deeply upsetting for me. I’m a very broken person dealing with a lot of hurt- I suffer from depression and anxiety and amongst my many other paints, I know I’ll never be able to put myself back together until I can understand why I’ve pretended to be pregnant so many times, why I long for a child and understand this so I can forgive myself for my hurtful lies.
Hi, I myself am ashamed to admit that I had recently faked being pregnant. I dated a guy for a couple months and we had gotten insanely close. I honestly began to deeply care for him. He started going over to a group of girls’ home and staying there until 3 am, or rumored to be sometimes over night and would not come home. He ended up breaking up with me and telling me that it was going to last and he just needed space for 2 weeks after that. Then, two girls had answered his phone yelling at me, and blocked me from contacting him, and I did the most absurd thing and said that I was pregnant. (He also had a whole other girlfriend during this time, or at least someone he was interested in.) He came over the next day and we talked about it and I told him that I had taken the RU 486 pill. I had told my friends to get increasing support to make him feel even worse. But now, seeing him makes me feel so insanely guilty. I never want to tell him because he is so mean and says the most hurtful things anyone could ever say. I genuinely care(d) for him, and I just wanted to make him realize that he was being irrational and mean….it was NOT in hopes to get him back, it was in hopes to make him realize that he was acting terribly and hopefully to influence a ‘wake up call.’ I feel guilty and I think that this has to make me crazy.
My family was also recently affected by claims we strongly believe of a “pseudo-pregnancy” by my son’s 37 year old ex-girlfriend. I had mentioned to him early on in their one and a half year relationship there were several red flags with her – the fact she had three children with two different men starting at age 17 and was only currently raising one of them, had limited contact with her parents, spoke in derogatory terms of several people yet quite highly of herself, stepped in very quickly to a maternal role to our grandson. She also told me her GYN had informed her she had “stopped ovulating” when I visited her in the hospital whole whe was undergoing a GI workup – however, a few days later her daughter gave me tampons to bearing her as she had her period. How does one have menses if no longer ovulating? All my husband and I said then was to be very careful with precautions – which he swore he was. There were other lies as well but my son, I suppose was in this rebound relationship and very much seduced by her outward attractiveness until he decided it was enough and they split up. Three days later she told him she was ten weeks pregnant – he couldn’t understand how that was possible considering he always used a condom and their relations hadn’t been frequent – plus he knew she had a period during the time she stated she was pregnant. She claimed there was one time they hadn’t used protection, she hadn’t said anything sooner because she didn’t think it was viable, and it was only a “light” period. She texted him a sonogram at 1:30 am two nights later. Even though it looked official, as a nurse with background in the field this didn’t add up. Sure enough, research revealed people can now purchase phony personalized pregnancy scans on the Internet. She denied my sons requests to accompany her to OB appts, to have a paternity test, etc. All this through texts in which she said she didn’t make another appointment yet (odd for OB care) followed by saying its a high risk pregnancy and she goes frequently. My son was not responding until she texted it was okay for him to come with her – so he followed up with a phone call to her and left a message. Well, not surprisingly that very night – at 14 weeks – she claims she had to go to the hospital as she’d been cramping and bleeding for days (strange as two days earlier everything was fine), she had a “miscarriage” so he doesn’t have to worry anymore. Good to not worry….but proves to us even more this was a hoax from the beginning. A mid-trimester miscarriage is very unusual and would be followed. Y a D&C. Regardless, it’s over, he’s done with her and has a therapist to help him identify and ideally avoid personalities like that (BPD? Histrionic? Both?) in the future.
I’m glad your son is in therapy. Certain personality types are drawn to women like that and vice-versa, so for you son to figure out what it is that attracted him to her and to help him avoid women like that in the future is a major accomplishment.
PS. LMC, There are some spelling and grammatical errors you may want to consider correcting in fhe initial posting above
Thanks, I’ll review it. I need an editor lol
I see I had a number of editorial snafus in mine as well; no worries – it’s partially due to autocorrect undoubtedly. You’re providing good insight here, thank you. Seems this is sadly not as uncommon as one would expect, no pun intended.
On a side note, for some anonymity purposes, is it possible to only be identified by perhaps partial name or initials?
Thanks again. I went through this and tried to fix as many errors as I could find. Guess I need to periodically go through these and clean them up!
Good job all around providing support and enlightenment to those of us who have been targets of such deceit and troubled women – of all ages and varieties of behavioral health issues
I (18M) recently found out that my, now ex, girlfriend(19F) has lied to me about getting an abortion and getting raped. We used to be friends and she came to me when she broke up with her ex, saying she had an abortion and he didn’t believe her. I didn’t think much of it, because I didn’t think she could fake something like that. Later that year we started a romantic relationship and about a month in she tells me her first sexual partner had actually raped her.
One year later we have a fight and those things come up and she comes clean and says she really faked both of those. With a little help from me she admits to having lied to me about a lot of her past.
We still keep in touch and she is someone I really care about. While I don’t think I can be with her, I still want to help her. I understand that she desperately wants compassion and lies to get it. Is this actually a mental illness and what can be done about it?
It can be a sign of mental illness, possible a personality disorder, in which case she would need real therapy to help her and she’d have to acknowledge and want help to benefit from it. Continue to be her friend, seems like you’ve helped her so far, but she will have to do a lot of the hard work herself.
I have a friend who “says” she is currently 8 1/2 months pregnant.
When she first told everyone she was pregnant she moved to another state all by herself with no family and no one knowing except me and a few other friends. When she first started going to Doctor appointments I kept asking to see her sonogram pictures and she would send Sonos of a pretty big baby for her to be so early in this pregnancy.
Finally she stopped posting pictures and deleted all her social networks and resurfaced in October.
Her first picture was of her with a baby bump and she looked like she was growing and healthy. That was the last time we seen a baby bump.
January comes and she gets herself into some trouble in the state I live in and needed my help so I finally got a chance to see her and when I did my mouth dropped.
I was expecting to rub a belly and maybe even see a baby kick at 8 months pregnant but her stomach was so flat it was completely obvious she wasn’t pregnant.
I’ve been asking all the right questions towards finding out is she is lying to me and I’m so confused because I would hate to ask if she’s really pregnant at 8 months.
I later found out she has been stalking the supposed to be dad and drove all the way to Georgia from NY to see him unannounced. He obviously put her out and called the cops when he realized she still going on with this pregnant story.
All she talks about is “she can’t wait to her baby gets here” and im getting uncomfortable with the conversations more and more.
How do I ask a friend who has dragged this out so far if they are lying?
Even when I ask her questions about the pregnancy she barely knows or she stops responding to me.
I would like to be there for my friend if she has a true mental problem but this is becoming harder as her “due date” approaches in March of 2016
I’m a teacher, and I believe my supervisoring teacher at work has faked 2 pregnancies and miscarriages. She mentioned her miscarriage very soon in our working relationship, and I thought it was odd, but having dealt with fertility issues myself, I had a lot of sympathy for her. Then, at a school event, she announced to several colleagues that she was miscarrying again (she said it was boy/girl twins), but would stick it out to stay at the event “for the students.” I thought this was pretty extreme, but again, I chose to believe that a professional, educated adult would not lie about that. Now I am pregnant, and every time we talk, she talks about her two pregnancies, and she seems to have forgotten that the 2nd miscarriage was with twins; now it has become a singleton. I am well-versed in the fertilization, implantation, and early pregnancy stages, and her description of all these things is downright wrong. (One would think one would do her research into these matters before describing them in detail). I suspect borderline personality disorder or psychopathy based on her egotistical nature, insecurity, chronic lying, changing her personality on a dime. What is the best way to deal with this woman? How can I protect myself as a pregnant woman from suffering her wrath/resentment? She has our principal’s ear, and I work at a charter school. I’m afraid her jealousy of my pregnancy may put my job at risk.
Wow. Sorry I am just getting to this, but I think your diagnostic instinct is correct. Before I even read your diagnostic impression, I was already thinking borderline personality disorder. There’s not much you can do when it comes with dealing with someone like this other than create space between you when you can and try not to engage her when she is lying or if she starts to become confrontational. Just make sure you have emotional and physical space between you whenever you can. She will likely start to become more unstable the further you are along in your pregnancy, that’s why the distance is important. Hopefully the distance will make her focus on you less, but in the mean time, just continue being the great teacher you are and congratulations on your baby!
Just going to put a warning in advance in case this may trigger some people.
Also my apologies as this will be a long post.
When I was 13-14 years old I was raped by a boy I was seeing at the time. We were both drunk and at a party and I had agreed to sleep with him. We started getting intimate and then he told me he didn’t have a condom so I said no. He however wouldn’t take no for an answer and raped me. I didn’t get pregnant. I was going through a lot at the time with my father dying. He had dementia and motor neuron disease and by this stage he was starting to forget who I was because of his illness. I had also been sexually assaulted as a child 6-9 years of age and hadn’t dealt with these issues.
As a result I was using drugs and alcohol to cope and shortly after this incident occurred I was drunk at a party and told a friend I was pregnant and this story got around and I didn’t know how to come clean about the fact that I wasn’t really pregnant. I stuck with the story for maybe a week or two. I honestly considered suicide because I couldn’t see a way out and then panicked and said I’d had a miscarriage.
It’s been ten years since this occurred and I still feel such immense guilt over it that it makes me sick. I’ve also been raped and sexually assaulted since then many times and I told myself that it was karma for what I had done.
Over the years a refused to let any one help me with any of my issues around all these things as I felt I wasn’t worthy of help because of what I had done.
For the past year or so I have been seeing a psychiatrist to deal with these things so I can finally move on with my life but I’ve yet to tell her about my lie as I’m afraid she won’t:
Want to help me anymore
Won’t believe that other assaults I tell her about (which I haven’t really told her yet)
Will judge me and think I’m a horrible person.
I was just hoping for your advise on whether I should tell her as I really need to tell her so she can help me work through my guilt and learn to forgive myself (if I even deserve that) and also the other issues I’ve mentioned above which I’ve never received help for because as I said I didn’t think I was worthy.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
I am having a similar issue with a coworker. And it’s quite unsettling to me. This started back in August 2015. I found out i was pregnant and was extremely excited about it. I told everyone, including my coworkers. My due date was to be April 17 2016. The next day this coworker, a 45 year old woman, who does not have any children told us she was pregnant too. She said was around 4 months and just didnt tell anyone. So yay we are all happy to be pregnant together! I was informed during my first ultrasound at 9weeks that i was miscarrying my child. This was mid September 2015. i had some spoting a few days before. Well the time has passed on and this coworker has been openly drinking and smoking marijuana while supposedly pregnant the entire time, which was just boggling to me. She was originally due in February. Then she changed it to March… we all started questioning if she was really pregnant at this point. And now the due date was for may 6th. She is not “showing” she has already forgotten thst she told us she was due 2 weeks ago. She said she was scheduled for a c section and the drs didnt go thru with it becsuse she was too stressed…. and now she says shes getting an abortion. Now im pro choice but an abortion at 9 months just feels wrong to me. She said the baby has down syndrome and she is not mentally prepared to deal with it so shes getting rid of it. i just found out that i am pregnant again. YAY! And im having a really hard time wraping my head around her decision to lie, or a real decision to abort this late in the pregnancy. I want to confront her so badly but im afraid she is really mentally disturbed. I have to work with this woman and i dont know how to go about this… noone at work believes she is pregnant anymore and is just happy to go along with her stories and talk about her behind her back. I just can’t do it anymore, but if this is a mental illness maybe i shouldn’t confront her. Its eating away at me. She has been a friend for 2years now and i just dont know how to move foward with this!! Any advice?
Hahahahahah We Teenage Girls dont have mental issus or nothing like that . we just get bored and put a blancket into our stomach and pretend cause were bored.
Hi, i’m in relation for 7 years and right after my girlfriend went for a research travel she told me that she was pregnant after she realize that her period was a little late, she wrote me with concerns about being pregnant, then she told me that she made the tests and she was sure. I gave her a lot of attention after that, but in fact after some discussions that we had about having or not the baby she confessed to me that it was a lie. I really don’t know what to think, i really love her, and i think that she was afraid to lose me, i forgave her, but i don’t know what actually happened and what am i suppose to think… sorry my english, i’m writing from a non english speaking country
My brothers ex girlfriend who is my nieces mother, continually fakes being pregnant and then makes up some beleivable story of a miscarriage like atleast 3 to 4 times a year! Her and my brother split up about 2 years ago. She did this when they were together and my brother would get so excited and me too because I can’t have children! So I would kind of live threw her since I will never get to experience pregnancy! But she would always have a miss carriage! At first I was so heart broken for her! Like I felt that’s the worst thing someone could go through! But after the 4th time she pulled this crisp I finally realized she wax full of it! But I never confronted her about it because sometimes if you try and tell her about herself she completely looses it and goes all psycho on you! So I would play along with her BS story and when she had the miscarriage (as usual) I’d pretend to care! But I talked to my brother about it because I was sick of it and he told me he knows she’s lying and he ignores her and stopped coming around all the time all she wants is attention! So they broke up and he started dating another girl and after a year his new girl friend got pregnant and now she is like pretending left and right getting pregnant and miss carrying like every other month even making up crap that the doctors say is what she has that’s causing her to miss carry!! I’m so fed up with it it makes me so angry to see her pretend to miss carry and then you see fb posts of her in bikinis and swimming without a care in the world like nothing happened!! I can’t get pregnant and would give anything to have a baby and you got people like this in the world who already have a kid and don’t take care of her and want to be pregnant again! Yea my brother takes care of his daughter she’s too busy partying all the time to care! What do you call this behavior?
She probably has some type of personality disorder. It’s hard to say without knowing more information, but that would be my guess.
I have a baby to my boyfriend… He cheated on me with a girl, then I found out and we tried to make things work between us. When the girl found out he was still with me, she said she was pregnant. Don’t know what ever happened to that baby… She Caused A LOT of problems, actively tried to ruin our relationship even tho she only knew him for 6 weeks at this point.
Long story short I kicked him out because her harassment was too much.
They ended up getting together for 3 months, broke up and now me and him are back together.
Well when she found out we were back together, she is now saying she is pregnant again.
I know there’s a possibility of it being true, but I find it very hard to believed seeing a as tho she has pulled this stunt before.
She also threatened suicide prior to the pregnancy claim, but that didn’t work..
She is very mentally unstable and harasses me and my boyfriend constantly and makes dozens and dozens of fake Facebooks, snapchats, etc.
Do you really think she would actually be pregnant? She is desperate to get this guy back and she hasn’t stopped at any lengths so far, so I’m really doubting it.
I know a girl, not very well, we met in an online game. She is “dating” abother person I know from the same game. A few das ago she told me she was pregnant and that her bf knows. They’ve never met before, today is their first day meeting. She claims an ex of hers drugged her and raped her and that now she’s almost 6 weeks along. She sent me an ultrasound picture. I grew concerned the more I thought about it. Knowing that she recently suffered an ectopic pregnancy from the same ex who drugged her previously, I looked up ultrasound pictures. The first link when I searched 5 weeks and 4 days sent me to a website of ultrasound pictures from the first trimester broken down by week, one of those sites that tells you what to expect when you see the ultrasound etc. On that same page was the exact ultrasound picture she had sent me showing her baby. I don’t know what to do. Either she’s going to have her boyfriend actually knock her up, or she’s going to fake a miscarriage later on. And I’m seriously not okay with either of those things happening. I care about both her and her boyfriend, and I can tell you that this girl has some serious issues. Pathological lying is not a “sickness” in and of itself, but it is a side effect of many mental illnesses. I’m not sure what o should be doing, or if I should stay out of it and let them sort it out or what.
This may be completely disturbing but it’s worth a try since I am running out options and cannot find any information anywhere related to this issue.
I have 15 yo son with Autism (high functioning but with a low IQ) and for the past 12 months, my husband and I have found him playing/pretending to be pregnant. This behavior includes taking his younger sisters stuffed animals, pillows, and sometimes clothing and stuffing them under his shirt. The odd behavior normally takes place at night while he is in bed. He also searches the Internet for images of pregnant women.
He doesn’t seem to know by he does it when we ask him. We have taken him to see a therapist, shortly after discovering this disturbing behavior. However, the therapist rarely touches on the issue and just tells my son to keep a calendar and mark the days he does this “pretend pregnant business”
As a family, this disturbing behavior, along with his already difficult Autistic and educational behavior, is creating a very tense and unhappy family environment. I’m hoping you can shed some reasoning for his odd behavior and maybe indicate to Where I can find more information on this. There isn’t anything online in regards to this, and I’m at a complete loss.
Hi, I’m not an expert on Autism although I have worked with Autistic children before. With that said, I think your sons pretend play is okay. It may make you feel uncomfortable, but I don’t think it’s harmful and in time will hopefully fade away. It’s also probably the reason the therapist didn’t make a big deal out of it. The less attention you give it the faster it is likely to become less and less of an issue.
My sister was recently raped and ended up pregnant. After much deliberation she decided to keep the babies (8 week ultrasound showed twins, I was at the ultrasound). Around 12 weeks she lost both babies (I found this out later). She continued to pretend being pregnant (purchased fake belly on internet, fake sonograms from the Internet, etc) until things started not adding up. We confronted her and she broke down and confessed she had lost the babies and was too devastated to admit it to herself. What is going on here? Why would she continue trying to fool us and herself that she was still pregnant?
There’s a few things could be going on here. If your sister was raped she was probably traumatized and trauma causes people to have all kind of strange reactions to the traumatic experience. Also, once she decided to keep the babies, she probably became excited about being a mother and then that was taken away from her. Remember that losing both babies in itself could count as another traumatic experience, so we are dealing with someone who may be psychologically dealing with two different traumas. Also, although she lost the babies she’s still probably dealing with some hormonal imbalances that come from being pregnant and emotionally/mentally she may not quite be herself yet. Because of all these factors I would say it’s quite normal that she continued to pretend to be pregnant after the miscarriage, but would also recommend some help for her so that she can deal with the psychological traumas in a healthy way.
This post is very old, but I think I’m dealing with a psychopath.
My brother has dated a woman for the past three years. She has three children from a previous relationship. They live in another state, with their father. She’s at times immature, emotionally unstable, and cruel with his children. Often times behaving in a way that makes everyone question her actions and teen mentality. She is 37.
This past February she claimed to be pregnant. I instantly thought she was lying but left it. At 14 weeks she posted an ultrasound on Facebook, I did a reverse search and found it on a popular pregnancy website and called her out.
She’s left the photo up, insists she is pregnant and has claimed I’m sexually interested in my brother to attack her like this. She’s claimed that my brother and others have gone to the doctor with her, but none of them have.. She texts from her phone as other people to say they’ve gone to the doctor with her and that I am just wanting my brother to myself. She’s lived off the state and my parents and now another person (along with my brother) this entire three years.
I looked into her past. Talked to her exes (she claimed were in prison for assault and rape) none are in prison and they have information she had done this before, I was even sent baby shower photos of a previous fake pregnancy. At that time her ex in laws stated she had a tubal (separation and burn) in 2005. They stated they new for a fact she isn’t pregnant. I believe them. She has never produced a pregnancy test nor ultrasound at all to anyone, and claims only my brother and the lady they live with need to believe her.
I have found fake Facebook profiles, dating websites she’s active on right now (without mentioning her pregnancy)…but she’s gaining weight (I don’t see it, she’s been very heavy from the start.) and has made comments to the point I’m not willing to put her again with anything until after she runs or claims stillbirth. (She ran every other time..,)
My problem…because people see her heaviness and the fact she’s “due” in twenty days they don’t believe she’s faking it. She lives on welfare and other people she could never afford a tubal reversal, claims an IUD failed to family and still produces no proof other than saying she’s gaining weight right she must be pregnant. That and my brother and his daughter claim to have felt a baby move.
I’m not willing to turn over all information, I decided to just wait it out. My brother has never been to an appointment but stays with her. My family has never seen proof but believe her. She’s isolated my brother against us, and actually got mad they won’t do a baby shower until after a baby is born.
I don’t see pretending pregnancy as normal or ok at all. I’ve watched manipulation at its finest. I’ve seen her glee at everyone believing her. I honestly think she’s holding out on the outcome she’s chosen because I know she isn’t pregnant.
I’m actually looking at legal recourse. Theft by deception and fraud. I’ve contacted the state agencies she’s previously stolen from and statements from previous people she’s done this with. The problem is it’s not cut and dry and they have to wait until she gives birth, runs or miscarries to do anything! We can’t force an ultrasound, in hospital pregnancy or anything else because of hippa and because people believe her.
There is a need for changes in response to the faking of pregnancy. There needs to be a way to force people who fake this into some form of mental care. In this case, I know she’s a psychopath. My parents are afraid for my brother, he’s too drunk to care. I know she will be investigated if she has a stillbirth and isn’t able to produce a baby. If she runs, I don’t want her to do this to another, but she hides…doesn’t work…how will we know where she is? Do I contact the men she’s been meeting on dating websites to warn them? It’s all then a legal catch 22…to which I was told out her on a blog and leave it up and open to search engines.
Im tired. Of the belittling, the turning my family against me as a liar.
So I wait….it’s hard waiting for the truth.
Almost as hard as waiting for an actual baby.
For me, I have only faked one pregnancy but like, “only” is a mild term for it. I found out last year that i am not able to have kids, and I’ve been grieving ever since, however this year a friend told me I looked pregnant and felt my belly claiming to feel a kick, and I didnt have the heart to tell her no. I have been sort of stuck because she is a close friend and I don’t want to lose her trust after she went shopping with me and spent time picking out clothes (I made sure she paid for nothing)
However, I spiralled out of control and cant stop going out of the house unless I have my fake belly. I even go to maternity stores and get clothes. I decided to do this, partially because it was nice to get the attention, but mainly, I wont get to experience this ever again. I want to at least see this through to the end, now.
I must be a terrible person but I really felt I needed this, it was healing in a way, but that still doesnt excuse the lies.
Allison, I understand why you did this. I’m sorry that you can’t have children, but can you in the future look into adoption? What your’e talking about could be therapeutic in a way, but when you are lying to your friends and those close to you, all you’re doing is creating future problems that will damage those relationships. Be honest with your friend. Hopefully she’ll understand and process this with you.
Sounds like a bunch of liars on this site and iflgnorent talker. I dont even believe in this “diagnosis” after seeing all these hateful messages from na sayers.
My son was in a brief relationship with a woman who is the mother of two children. He got cold feet and broke things off with her after a month and a half. She first said she was feeling ill. That became, “I’m late.” She dragged this on for a MONTH, sending a picture of a positive pregnancy test (which we located on the internet), followed by an ultrasound of TWINS, which we also found on the internet belonging to a woman in another state. She made up a due date and said she was extremely high risk. When confronted about the fake pictures, she sent my son an email with pictures of an alleged miscarriage in a toilet and specks of tissue on her finger that she said were the babies. A Google search after the fact produced two felonies that she plead guilty to many years ago for stalking an ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend. I share this story to illustrate that men must be extremely careful, and that women will go to great lengths to lie about these matters.
I work with a girl who has been claiming to be pregnant and just found out today that she’s not and that she’s done this before. I don’t know what to do about this she has everyone treating her specially and her mother said this is a thing with her. She’s a bit slow in learning but she’s sweet and I like her I am upset at the deception but I think she needs help. She’s had people buying her things and planning a baby shower. My boss and I are at a loss and have no idea how to handle this. Any help would be greatly appreciated
This situations are always difficult because we don’t know how fragile this individual is both mentally and emotionally, but if there is an Employee Assistance Program that offers counseling, I would refer her to counseling so she can talk to someone and hopefully they will be able to address the issues that are causing her to feel like she needs to pretend to be pregnant to get attention.
Hi, so I have a crazy looong story. I had a very traumatic childhood lots of domestic violence, sexual assault, drug abused parents etc. When I was 13 child protective services removed me and my 5 siblings from the home and I was placed with my grandmother and 3 younger siblings I went into a deep depression and I just wanted to party and not care about anything. When I was 15 I tried texting a random number just to be silly it ended up being a 21yo guy and all I was thinking was he can buy me alcohol so I became involved with this guy who I told that I was 18. We ended up being together and wanted to have a baby after being together a few months. I was so in love with the idea of starting over with a new life creating my own family but I was on birth control which he was unaware of (I was also scared of what everyone would say when our ages had been exposed, he still thought I was 18) So I went to his house and we had unprotected sex and I went home and took a plan B pill because I was scared. A few weeks later I regretted taking the pill and being on birth control and I told him that I was pregnant and he was So excited and he told all his family and they were excited and all of a sudden I lost sight of reality because I was just as excited as they were. I then started to see reality when he started asking to take me to my appointments(around 2months in) i would come up with excuses as to why he couldn’t come. Finally I told him that I was protecting him because I was actually 17 going on 18. He was mad and didn’t know what to do so we were on and off for a while. Then around “3months” I told him that I was bleeding and might be having a miscarriage, he said if I lose the baby that I lose him and I was so in love with him and the thought of having a family with him I ended up going along with the whole pregnancy! I know it’s horrible but I lost sight of reality. I would pick fights with him just so I could have a reason to talk to him so he ended up breaking up with me. I then realized what a horrible person I was and attempted to commit suicide. It didn’t work and he had no idea so I still went along with it and eventually ” had the baby” and would send him pictures all the time. I don’t know why I couldn’t stop I guess I figured I was in too deep and couldn’t go back. He begged me to meet her and I would come up with so many excuses and tell him he didn’t deserve to be in her life. Eventually when she was about “2” his family did their research and found out my REAL age and that I was never ever pregnant to begin with. By this time we had an emotional attachment and stayed together for about a year, but we ended up breaking up when I was 19. I was so heartbroken but I moved on to be with this guy who had been begging for my attention since I was 16, I fell in love with him and it felt so much better because I was the real me no lies and things were good, until he cheated on me but I thought it was karma for what I did to my ex. We got married at the age of 21 and shortly after my ex came back into my life and wanted to be with me, I pushed him away because I was married but I still had feelings for him and 8months later I left my husband and went back to him. He wanted to try to have a baby so again we had lots of unprotected sex. I was gone for a month when my husband finally came and took me back we had lots of unprotected sex( I didn’t think I was able to get pregnant because I had been trying with my husband for over a year) well come to find out the next month I’m pregnant and we have no idea who’s it is because I am irregular. My husband said no matter what it’s his and my ex didn’t believe me because of the last time. So I had the baby and still kept in contact with him since we weren’t sure. A year later my ex asks for a home DNA test my husband said NO. I did it anyways my husband found out and long story short he’s in jail and I’m a single mother of a beautiful baby girl. (The test was “inconclusive “) this is my karma.
My wife does this. Before we were married she tried telling me that she was pregnant. I told her that her timing of everything didn’t match up and she stopped talking to me about it but continued telling her friends (never family) that she was, lied about symptoms and appointments… I wasn’t living with her at the time so I couldn’t really confirm or deny these doctor visits, but they conveniently were always scheduled for when I wasn’t there… I was still staying with her overnight 3-4 times a week, both weekends included, and we worked full-time 40+ hours a week. I was never told about any appointment until after it happened. She never “showed” and never changed any habits or had any symptoms that I could see. Then she conveniently miscarried while I was at work. She said she had her dad drive her to the OB/GYN (she wasn’t driving at the time) but he had no idea why, then the uncaring doctor came in, told her she miscarried and then left the room after writing her a script for some drug to take after a loss to help your body expel everything so you don’t get an infection. I later found out that she never went anywhere with anyone, was never seen by a doctor and was never given anything. She went on web forums dedicated to pregnancy loss and posted stories (and stole a bit from ones she read), she sought comfort in my friends, she stayed up at night crying and saying that I was being uncaring because I thought it was weird that she wanted to name it, she even holed herself up at a friend’s house on the “due date” because she was so upset. Then, seemingly overnight, she stopped bringing it up and never said 2 words about it.
A few years later (we’re now married) and I find out that she’s telling people at her job that she’s pregnant (she brings up the previous one at this point but doesn’t get as involved in the storyline as she was before). She tells her co-workers to not ask me about it though, because “it’s still really early and after the first loss we don’t want to celebrate anything until we’re passed a certain point”… this one was also “lost” right before she would start to show, though there was much less fanfare about it.
Now (a year later) she’s right back at it! We moved to a different area because she got a better job, and I find out that she is currently telling people that she’s 7-9 weeks pregnant, WITH TWINS! And the kicker this time is that she’s claiming that she got knocked up by her “ex-boyfriend” (another lie, as she hasn’t seen this guy in YEARS and they never slept together, even before she and I started dating). She admitted to me it’s a lie when I called her out on it. After I demanded that she tell everyone the truth, she said that she didn’t know why she said it but she didn’t want to lose friends over it, so she wouldn’t tell them it was a lie, but she would just say that she lost it/them and not say it again. I keep telling her that covering up her lie with another lie isn’t going to help matters… and that saying the you aren’t going to lie anymore isn’t the same as being honest.
I also keep telling her that, if she really values these friendships, then she should want to be honest with them and not lie about things like this, but she doesn’t want to listen.
HI, My name is Carol I have a 16yr old daughter who is claiming to be pregnant, some how i dont believe her as she and her boyfriend broke up and I think she is doing this to keep him. He has said that he wants nothing to do with her and she must stop messaging him.
I spoke to his mom and she has said that my daughter did the same thing a couple of months ago when he broke up with her.
I am based in South Africa, what kind of help can I get for her.
Please hope you can help me
I’m interested if by now you have found out if she is pregnant or not. Young girls going through a break up often use this to try to keep the boy around. It’s not even abnormal at this point, but becomes so the longer she pretends to be pregnant and the things she does to try to convince people such as gaining wait, pulling up fake pictures of ultra sounds from the internet, etc.
$$$$Hello , recently about 6 weeks and 3 days ago me (17) and this girl (15) has sex , I know it was dumb on my part but you know how teenage emotions and hormones are , anyway , after we had sex about a week after words I get a text from her saying she’s late for her period , as days went by we kept talking , I mentioned the abortion pill in which she said she would take but when we argued or she got frustrated with me she said “I’ll just keep it” , occasionally this would be said but now 6 weeks later she is all for an abortion , she’s been taking lots of vitamin c to try to have a natural miscarriage , she says she’s having all the symptoms , morning sickness , boobs hurting , etc she’s taken 9 pregnancy tests , 4 of which were in my presence 5 of which I was not present but sent me pictures of the positive ones on snap chat , she says she “Dosent wanna tell her mom or want me to tell my mom “, she says she “wants to get the abortion pill and take it so no one ever knows about the pregnancy” (if she even is pregnant) me and my mom are going to get her this weekend and make her take 2-4 Tests at my moms house , I told her she needs to tell her mom but she said “if the tests are positive this weekend we will tell her but if not we will just go on with our lives” I don’t know what to think , is she pregnant or not ????????
Hi Harold. If she took 4 pregnancy test in front of you and they came out positive then it’s a pretty good chance that she is pregnant. You can always follow up with a doctor to be sure because it doesn’t sound like she’s even confident that she is pregnant, but since most pregnancy tests are 99.99% accurate, it’s a good chance that she is if you witnessed 4 positive tests yourself. Good luck.
I’m going throught this right now. I met a girl, and i believed there was something not quite right about her from the start, but i gave her a chance, i suppose because i was lonely. I’m 40, she is 36. I broke off the relationship after less than a week. We had unprotected mediocre sex once. She told me she had an implant. I didn’t ejaculate. When i broke up with her she was hysterical, i was very surprised at her reaction. she sent me a 16 (!?) page letter saying how i was wrong for splitting up with her because i hadn’t given it a chance, she also detailed all the ways she wanted to kill herself. It was very scary. Then she texted me a couple of week after the split telling me she was pregnant. I’ve never believed it, i’m 99% sure shes lying, but that one percent is really doing my head in. I asked for proof she gave me a letter from her GP. it was fake. She also has fake friends on facebook, and actually put up a pic of a xmas tree claiming it was hers. the picture is all over the internet. I was certain this story would end with a miscarriage….however, its been 9 months and shes been seen pushing a pram round. I have no idea if there is a baby in it. her facebook page has gone, however i googled her name and it appears shes been looking at fake babies on facebook, not dolls as such, very realistic looking exepensive fake babies. I wondered what your opinion is? I’m amazed by how common this is all is, however, i am concerend that she’s actually walking round with a pram. I’ve read a lot of these stories on here and its not often someone goes that far.
OK, an update to this. Social services were called by a neighbour. The police have confirmed there is no baby. However she is still pushing the pram round. It’s very sad, I hope she gets the help she needs. Afew of my friends have said things like, “How could she do that? I would never do that.” And it just makes me think, well, you are the lucky one then, because someone else had to do it. They were compelled to for whatever reason, and once they’d started, they couldn’t get out if it. I don’t think she meant to hurt anyone, not really. It just got out of her control. Her actions have been very child like is the best way i can describe it. It’s like i’ve been dealing with a woman who hasn’t grown up yet, and she just handles everything in a very immature way. Shes been like a child having a strop, all the time. I can quite honestly say ive never met anyone quite like her.
I don’t know how to even start this message, yet I find myself typing. My daughter is going to be 27 old in December, over the last 17 years all she talks about is been pregnant at less 4 times a year . An of course ever delivery she’s by yourself, or the child has died or was born stillborn. I’m just trying to get her to understand that I no longer want nor care to have conversations about babies that she’s not carrying nor have . It saddens me that she can’t have a conversation with me other than talking about babies , my younger two children whom are grown now she has also said that I was her aunt raising her children so that she can finish high school. I just don’t know how much more I can take , I mean she feels like I should mourn her died children yet never a death certificate never a hospital visit with a vision of a child I just don’t know what I can do to help her get past this, as a Mother a women I’m concerned that one day my daughter may attempt an kidnap a baby from the hospital because she’s there at least 6 months out of a year , she always befriends people whom are pregnant or has a lil baby . I just don’t know what to do and how to help her please reply a mother needing help
Hi Samika, I’m sorry to hear about your daughter. For this to have gone on for so long tells me that your daughter is indeed in need of therapy. It is possible, due to how long this has gone on, that your daughter may have experienced a tragic loss of a child 17 years ago that she never got over. It is also possible that your daughter is suffering from some type of delusional thinking and may need medication. In my experience, it is unusual for this to go on for so long, although sometimes people with various personality disorder will fake being pregnant for the majority of their lives. I recently encountered two middle aged women who both claimed to be pregnant, but were not and could only be persuaded after being shown negative pregnancy test and given medication. One has a diagnoses of bipolar disorder and the other has bipolar disorder and autism.
Hi so I to have lied about being pregnant. I used to lie about it when i was younger and it always ended in miscarriage. It wasn’t to keep a boy around but i had always wanted to be a mom. I was sexually abused by my father for 14 years and my mother neglected mein many different ways. I stopped lying when i became an adult and found God. But, i now can’t get pregnant and my husband and i have even done fertility treatments. I feel like this is my punishment for lying so much about it. I know i did it for attention and i know it stems from the abuse some how but i just really wish i knew more about why i did that. Thank you for posting this.
My daughter has been doing this constantly. I thought she grew out of it and I find out she’s at it again. She just turned 18 and this has been going on for 3years now. I mean the kid had invited ppl to a fake baby shower. This so concerning and I’ve sought help for her for this and other issues but this was never addressed and it’s just not right. No boy she’s trying v to trap for it or anything so that really makes me think that it’s caused by mental illness.
Something similar has happened to my brothers girlfriend. My brother has a mental illness and just recently this year lost his best friend. He’s new girlfriend then started to claim she was pregnant, even to go as far to say they are twins (She new this was my brothers dream to have twins). We obviously believed her at first, until she showed us her first scan that she claimed to have which was only a picture on her phone. This could easily have been taken off of Google. We decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and asked can we be present at the next scan. Numerous scans were apparently booked but each time there was a different excuse as to why she didn’t end up going. It has been nearly 6 months now and there is still no evidence of the pregnancy, she has still not had a scan and she does not appear pregnant. We have asked her time and time again to just be honest with us as we would rather know the truth, but she will not admit it. I was not aware this could have been to do with a mental illness. She has lost both of her parents and seems to have a lot going on in her life, but we don’t know what to believe anymore. It’s like she is a compulsive liar.
just found your article and it hits very close to home. I am going through this again with our 15yr daughter. she did this last year and went as far as taking her baby book ultrasound pics and using them as hers. she spent last year at a residential facility. and now is back home and is doing this all over again…
she has recently been diagnosed as Bipolar.
i was this girl in middle and part of high school. as someone who is mentally i’ll and being partially treated for it, it felt like a mental illness. for me personally, i thought about it all of the time. i had such an infatuation with pregnancy and babies out of nowhere. i still do, but not to the extent of before.
i had an abusive boyfriend whom i got really close with emotionally. we were very young at the time, but he posted a snapchat story saying i was pregnant (i wasn’t, and we never had sex). of course, people believed him, and so this was a lie we kept up for a little bit. then he stopped feeding in, but i for some reason didn’t. i had convinced my friends that i was actually pregnant (this wasn’t the first time) and of course then i miscarried.
looking back on this, i 100% think in this situation, my abusive boyfriend had a lot to do with the lie, because he really scared me. otherwise, i still don’t really know why i lied about being pregnant. it’s embarrassing to look back on, but something about it feels more mental than imaginary.
I’m dealing with a bizzare situation.
When I was 15-17 I was sexually assaulted multiple times. I was a virgin and socially impaired coming from a neglectful home with addiction and I also had a major problem with anorexia, never got below a normal weight I went from being kinda chubby to really pretty almost overnight. When I was really pretty during my eating disorder days was when I got sexually assaulted and that’s another topic all together. When I would tell the truth to my peers or superiors I was called a liar. I shut down. I was medicated against my will. The psychiatrist was even a mandated reporter and she failed to report. I dated a guy on and off between 14 and 18 who was my first kiss so I over valued him and he just saw me as the notch on his bedpost and would constantly push me beyond my comfort level but I agreed to it ( He never assaulted me he just treated me like shit). I finally slept with him when I was 17 after disclosed my sexual assault history and not feeling like I held value anymore. He broke up with me two weeks later said he just wanted some time well another week goes by and he’s already dating my frenemy. I was absolutely livid. Told him I was pregnant. Everyone told him I was faking which made me more upset because I know I was lying this time but wasn’t about the assaults. I went as far as trying to find pictures online of sonograms but my brother told me not to and I listened to him I think I don’t remember. Anyway over the summer my dad had a massive heart attack because of everything I shut down and gained massive amounts of weight and only wore baggy clothes. I really had to work hard to just brush my teeth and shower. School comes around the following year and he doesn’t even acknowledge me. I go to the nurses office one morning because I took citrus with one of the medications I was on and puked someone saw it and then the rumors spread that I was actually pregnant. The frenemy who was still dating him was in one of my classes and she kept taking digs at me. The medications I was on made me really sleepy too so I was really tired and would sleep in that class. I kept my mouth shut about pregnancy. Before the end of the year he asked me to come closer to take a look at me while he was sitting on the floor with another girl. I should have kept walking but I went over to him and kinda leaned over and he said that I have a big pointy nose and he had a small round nose and I almost started crying when I walked away. The girl sitting next to him laughed. He broke up with frenemy for the girl shortly after that. I started weaning myself off of the medications after I graduated and social media was coming out so it was easier to reconnect with people. I became friends with a girl who kinda new back in school and she switched to a different school but kept in touch with everyone and she commented on my weight and I said that I had a baby with ex and gave the baby up for adoption because my parents wouldn’t let me keep the baby. And she said that makes a lot of sense because I changed so much between sophomore and senior year. One of our friends had kids and she would compare my stuff to hers and I’d go with it as vaguely as possible because I had no idea what I was talking about like someone said newborns are ugly and I said that I thought they were beautiful type of thing. Well I had my ex on Facebook and he got a hold of me or I got a hold of him I don’t remember but he was dating a foreign exchange student and we met up and talked about us and he asked me if I ever was and I told him no I never was then we started hooking up again while he was in the long distance relationship. There was a trend on facebook where it was like the status for a confession. He liked it and I went into explicit detail about our affair on his page late at night so his over seas girlfriend would see it and all of his friends would see it. We never spoke again and he wound up marrying the foreign girl.
I started partying and dating around again and would now volunteer the gave baby up for adoption story to people who used to know me. I started dating a guy who had a massive crush on me when we were in school but he had a violent temper and did harder drugs and while we were in school. He went to jail and graduated and we became inseparable. Around the 4 months mark I got it in my head that I might be pregnant because none of my relationships lasted that long and he always dumped the girls who faked pregnancies there were 2 just for him when we were in school so I was up front about it. I took a test and I thought it came up negative so I left it in the garbage and went to a party without him. Came back after kissing another guy and drinking and he saw the test which was positive. I was surprised and we had a long talk and he was so excited but he knew I drank and I then just confessed everything to him and he just listened. A few days later I almost cheated on him again with the guy I made out with at the party when he was ignoring me. When we were driving around town I almost got caught by his brother and then asked to be dropped off near his house and broke it off with the party guy. I started bleeding a few days after so idk if it was a miscarriage or not but I feel I lied about being pregnant for some reason. He had no idea and we were together about 2 years later we had an unplanned pregnancy but I think it was a coerced pregnancy because I woke up to him raping me in my sleep and then he refused to let me leave until I apologized for making him feel like a rapist. We stayed together another 3 years but the domestic abuse and lack of upward improvement on his end and me finally working on bettering myself we split up and focused on co-parenting.
After splitting up with him I focused on my career and physical health which was skyrocketing. And got together with my now husband whom I knew and flirted with back when I was with ex#2. I was planning on breaking up with with my ex officially to go out with him when I think the coerced pregnancy happened. It made things really iffy on who’s the father because I don’t think I cheated but there is one night in particular that makes me think I fell back into old destructive patterns and he doesn’t remember but everyone else swears nothing happened and that the worse it got was a peck on the cheek for a dare then I asked to leave. But I still feel bad. And that what happened when we got back together was I apologized for my behavior prior and then because we both changed so much we started dating. He already knew about my 3 yr old because of the same circles we were in but he didn’t know about my concerns I brought it up around the 6 months mark and he freaked out and told me that would be his worst nightmare and told me a about a 1 night stand situation years back that wound up being someone else’s and she miscarried. He was willing to do a DNA test and I tricked my ex into doing one and results came back the my kid was with my ex so I felt better but my husband won’t let it go any time my kid does something like him he always hints that it’s because he is his. After the DNA test my husband who was still just my boyfriend at the time stopped using birth control and removed my cervical cap so not long after that I thought I was pregnant but not sure so I took a test and it had a super faint line and I told him and he was so happy he didn’t even want to see the test and then his whole family found out and my friends found out and then someone mentioned it at work and I went with it again but again symptoms faded and I started bleeding really weird. Everyone was devastated I was relieved but it made work conversations awkward. It worked out for the best and now we are in a much better situation than we were when that happened. I don’t know if it was faking a pregnancy though. I had the same feeling when we thought I was pregnant in-between 2 back to back pregnancies or if it was a real miscarriage. I have had all the kids I’m going to have. I know what being pregnant feels like and I don’t have very good pregnancies so I am baffled by my previous behavior. Was it for attention or something else?
This lead me to today. Ex#2 and I haven’t spoken in almost 6 years everything threw lawyers and he hasn’t seen or reached out to our kid in years. Ex#2 had a girlfriend recently who went out of her way to find my direct contact information to tell me she is pregnant he is abusive and a rapist… All things I experienced she needs my help with her restraining order hearing. I ask a lot of questions. And do my own follow up research a lot of what she said held water. Exs financials being hidden and how, forms of fraud against our kid, his illegitimate child with his very recently deceased ex isn’t his, his drug use etc. I give her a list of local resources and I try to get more info from her on why she is reaching out. She says she is already a mother and she filed a restraining order against him (true) they met online she looked past his past and became his sugar mama even got him a new lawyer how they had only been together 4 months but she was trying to get him to sign off his parental rights so she could have a baby with him and told me to not take offence to it because it was just financial. My ex refused to sign it. She got him a new lawyer when his old one dumped him and said she canceled a $10k check to pay off my ex’s arrears balance. She said she was 8 weeks pregnant back in February but she didn’t tell him anything and I asked about the pregnancy being coerced because I thought mine was. She said no she said he raped her too but it was when she was trying to break up with him and didn’t want to talk about it. I encouraged her to file a police report. She said her 6 year old kid was on suicide watch and wanted to know what he did to mine and I didn’t give her much info other than vague references to therapy’s he was involved in that helped and gave her more info to local resources and she said she already had a social worker because of the kids suicide watch. But I have friends in social work and they said that a 6 year old on suicide watch would be removed for their own safety not left with a mother who brings new drug addicted men over. I asked about the drug use and I think it’s weird that she would be with a guy who shoots meth and heroin regularly but it was ok when it wasn’t around the kids unless she was using too. And for her to be 8 weeks pregnant while planning a family with him while trying to convince him to write off his own kid is beyond insane. The same for Exs newest kid not being his is plausible but for her to bad mouth a deceased woman and just swoop in and try to become instant mom to a traumatized toddler is sick she said she worked at the local hospital and I said that would make her a mandated reporter and she said that she was a mandated reporter but didn’t want it to look retaliatory she wouldn’t say what she did for a living but internet search shows all low wage jobs so she probably wasn’t a mandated reporter if she was employed at all she said she had a trust fund and her father worked for the local police department so she was well connected too. It also would have made sense that she would have told him the moment she was pregnant which could have been about a month prior. It just doesn’t make sense. I keep looking on social media or in the news for birth announcements and it’s business as usual with her. I called CPS to report the two of them. Hers was because if her kid is on suicide watch and if she’s getting pregnant by a guy she met online with a serious history of abuse she needs professional help. His was if the baby wasn’t his that would be considered kidnapping and if he’s on drugs on top of his upbringing the kid could be in danger. This has complicated our legal stuff both financially and with these new allegations that need to be addressed. My instinct automatically told me she was lying. As someone who did something similar over a decade a go I empathize with her but I don’t get it we are adults now being a parent is hard work and being pregnant is hell why continue to do this stuff.
Wow, that was a lot! You have survived a lot of trauma and abuse. I have no idea what is going on with your ex’s partner. She probably comes from a traumatic background as well and is coping with things the best she knows how, even if the way she is coping with them may be toxic. It sounds like you’ve done all you can by calling CPS to protect the child. Sometimes unfortunately that’s all we can do. At this point, I would say to stop worrying about them and their drama and focus on you and your family. It’s easy to get sucked into other people’s chaos, especially when we are used to chaos. You have come a long way and I am sure you’re still working on improving yourself so don’t get distracted by toxic people. I know legally and financially you have to deal with them, but try to keep things as professional as possible and don’t get too personal or things will just be messy and more stressful than they need to be.