I’ve been asked a lot since my post Is Pretending to Be Pregnant a Mental Illness, what are the most common reasons someone would lie about being pregnant.
I’ve talked to many women who have lied about being pregnant since I wrote that post and have heard many reasons these women pretended to be pregnant. Here are five of the most common reasons.
Reasons Women Lie About Being Pregnant
- Attention: A lot of women tell me that they like the attention that they get from their partner, their friends, family or just other people in general when they think they are pregnant. They feel that people treat them nicer and that feeling of being treated special can be very addicting.
- To Keep a man: This is probably the biggest reason Some women claim to be pregnant, to keep a man from leaving them, or in some instances to get him to propose. They believe that a good man won’t abandon them if they are pregnant and will use that lie to keep him around either long enough to actually get pregnant or long enough for her to win back his affection which usually requires more psychological and emotional manipulation. This strategy doesn’t usually work and only prolongs the inevitable break up. However, throughout history it has worked enough times that some women see it as a worthy gamble.
- Extortion: Some women, a surprisingly a large number of them being college students, will use pretending to be pregnant as a money making extortion. Some of are having affairs with wealthy, but married men, some who are college professors or other prominent members in the community who would pay large amounts of money to make the evidence of their infidelity go away. Some women actually do this on a regular basis, conning more than one guy at a time as they rake in the money to pay for college tuition, books, shopping sprees and trips.
- Privilege: There are women who will pretend to be pregnant for the smallest, trivial things. Some to get in the front of a line or use a restroom in first class on a plane. Some lie about being pregnant to get free food, to explain eating large amounts of food, to escape from being judged for being overweight or to get special treatment or time off from work. In her book, Meternity, Meghann Foye writes about a woman who pretends to be pregnant in order to get paid maternity or has she says, “meternity” leave.
- Revenge: Some women use the lie of being pregnant to get back at a partner who has left them. They may lie about the pregnancy to make him look bad, to cause drama in his new relationship or simply to just drive him crazy with anxiety and fear so that he can’t move on because it’s possible he may be having a baby with someone he is trying to move on from.
There are countless reasons why someone pretends to be pregnant. I’ve heard everything from “to get my roommate to move out” to “to get out of helping someone move”.
Some of the reasons require someone to pretend to be pregnant for a very short time, while others require a longer commitment. I don’t think either one is better than the other, but psychologically, I think women who pretend to be pregnant to people they have to deal with on a regular basis and thus have to continue to lie for longer periods of time are women who are more likely to have deeper personality, mental and emotional issues. Unlike a short lie about being pregnant, a prolonged lie requires a resolution at some point. A baby either has to be produced or another lie about an abortion or miscarriage has to be created.
In extreme cases, this may cause someone to kidnap or even murder someone else in order to steal and secure a baby.