The Lindsay Clancy Trial Forces Us to Ask an Uncomfortable Question About Mental Illness

I’ve spent a good portion of my career working with people experiencing serious mental illness. I’ve also spent years working in correctional settings, so the intersection between psychology, criminal behavior, and personal responsibility has always fascinated me.

That may be one reason I’ve found myself following the Lindsay Clancy trial so closely.

The Massachusetts mother is on trial for killing her three young children, 5-year-old Cora, 3-year-old Dawson, and 8-month-old Callan, in January 2023. Her attorneys do not dispute that she killed them. Instead, the central question of the trial is whether Clancy was legally responsible for her actions at the time.

Her defense argues that she was experiencing severe postpartum psychosis and had lost touch with reality. Prosecutors argue that, although Clancy clearly struggled with significant mental-health problems, she understood what she was doing and deliberately planned the killings.

That distinction has turned this trial into something much bigger than a murder case.

It forces us to wrestle with an incredibly uncomfortable question:

When does mental illness explain someone’s behavior, and when does it change how responsible we believe they are for it?

Mental Illness Doesn’t Automatically Mean Lack of Responsibility

One of the misconceptions I frequently see when cases like this become national news is the assumption that being mentally ill automatically means someone doesn’t know what they’re doing.

It doesn’t.

Millions of people live with depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and other serious mental-health conditions without ever harming another person.

Even experiencing psychosis does not automatically determine someone’s legal responsibility.

That’s part of what makes the Clancy case so complicated.

Clancy had been seeking mental-health treatment for months before the deaths of her children. She saw multiple providers, was prescribed psychiatric medications, and admitted herself to McLean Hospital for inpatient treatment only weeks before the killings.

But the experts who have evaluated her don’t agree about what those facts ultimately mean.

Defense experts have testified that Clancy was suffering from postpartum psychosis, including hallucinations, and was unable to appreciate the wrongfulness of her actions. A prosecution expert has challenged that explanation, arguing instead that Clancy understood what she was doing and killed the children because she believed they would suffer after her planned suicide.

Same woman. Same history. Same horrific outcome.

Different psychological conclusions.

And that’s worth paying attention to.

What Exactly Is Postpartum Psychosis?

Part of the public discussion surrounding this case has also revealed how little many of us know about postpartum mental health.

Most people have heard of postpartum depression. Postpartum psychosis is different.

It is a rare but serious psychiatric emergency that can involve delusions, hallucinations, severe confusion, paranoia, dramatic mood changes, and a loss of contact with reality.

It’s important to say something else clearly:

Postpartum mental illness does not make mothers dangerous.

The overwhelming majority of women struggling with postpartum depression, anxiety, or other mental-health conditions will never harm their children.

We should be able to discuss an extreme case without creating unnecessary fear or stigma around mothers who are already struggling and may be afraid to ask for help.

In fact, if there’s a broader lesson here, I think it should be the opposite: when a new mother says she is struggling, we need to take her seriously.

Explanation Is Not the Same as Excuse

This may be the hardest part of the conversation.

Sometimes when we try to understand why someone committed a terrible act, people hear that understanding as sympathy or even justification.

But psychology asks us to tolerate more complexity than that.

We can grieve three children whose lives were taken.

We can acknowledge the unimaginable suffering of their father and family.

We can also ask whether their mother was experiencing a psychiatric illness so severe that her perception of reality was fundamentally altered.

Those ideas can exist in the same room.

Understanding behavior doesn’t erase its consequences.

But if mental illness truly affected someone’s ability to understand reality or appreciate the wrongfulness of an act, then our justice system has to consider that too. That’s precisely why standards for criminal responsibility exist.

The Part of This Case That Troubles Me Most

Beyond the question of guilt, there’s another part of this story that I can’t ignore.

Clancy was asking for help.

Her medical history presented at trial shows months of contact with mental-health providers before the killings. She reported anxiety, depression, difficulty sleeping and suicidal thoughts. She sought different providers and eventually inpatient psychiatric care.

That doesn’t tell us what the verdict should be.

But as a mental-health professional, it makes me wonder about something larger:

How good are we at recognizing when someone’s mental health is moving from “struggling” to “dangerously unstable”?

Mental-health care isn’t perfect. Clinicians make decisions using the information available at a particular moment. People can appear relatively stable during an appointment and deteriorate later. Symptoms can change. Patients don’t always disclose everything they’re experiencing.

There isn’t always an obvious villain or an easy missed sign.

Sometimes tragedy happens despite people trying to help.

That’s an uncomfortable reality too.

Compassion and Accountability Don’t Have to Be Enemies

I’ve noticed that public conversation about this trial often seems to demand that we choose a side.

Either Lindsay Clancy is a monster who murdered her children or she is a severely ill mother failed by the mental-health system.

Human behavior is rarely that simple.

I don’t know what was happening inside Lindsay Clancy’s mind when her children died. Ultimately, the jurors hearing all of the evidence will have to decide whether the legal standard for criminal responsibility has been met.

But I think the rest of us can take something important from the conversation.

Mental illness can profoundly alter how someone thinks, feels, perceives danger, and experiences reality. At the same time, having a mental illness does not automatically remove personal responsibility.

The difficult work is figuring out where one ends and the other begins.

And maybe that’s why this trial has captured so much attention.

It isn’t simply asking us what Lindsay Clancy did.

We already know what she did.

It’s asking something much harder:

How should we judge a person when we aren’t certain how much of their mind was available to them when they did it?

There may never be an answer to that question that feels completely satisfying.

But it’s a conversation worth having.

If you or someone you know are struggling with post partum mental health, please reach out to the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline: 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262)

Why Kids Fall Apart After School

Why Kids Fall Apart After School

As the father of an eighth grader and a third grader, I’ve experienced this phenomena firsthand. I’ve often been perplexed when I pick up my child and their teacher tells me they had a great day. They followed directions, completed their work, and got along well with the other children.

But shortly after we arrive home, they become irritable, argue about everything, or refuse simple requests. Sometimes my third grader ends up crying over something that seems incredibly small.

As a parent, naturally, I wondered: If they can control themselves at school, why can’t they control themselves at home?

It’s easy to interpret this behavior as disrespect, manipulation, or a lack of discipline. Sometimes children do need correction and consequences. But the child who falls apart after school may not be deliberately giving you a hard time.

They may have simply run out of the energy required to hold themselves together.

Keeping It Together Takes Work

A school day asks a lot from a child.

They must wake up on time, get dressed, leave the comfort of home, transition between activities, follow instructions, sit when they would rather move, manage distractions, complete difficult work, and navigate relationships with teachers and other children.

They may have to tolerate a noisy cafeteria, crowded hallways, uncomfortable clothing, unexpected schedule changes, teasing, disappointment, boredom, or the anxiety of being called on when they don’t know the answer.

Throughout the day, they are constantly adjusting their behavior.

Wait your turn.

Raise your hand.

Keep your hands to yourself.

Pay attention.

Walk in a straight line.

Use an inside voice.

Finish your work.

For many children, especially those with anxiety, ADHD, autism, learning difficulties, or sensory sensitivities, meeting all these expectations requires tremendous effort. Some children work so hard to manage their emotions and behavior at school that they have very little emotional energy left by the time they get home.

The pattern is sometimes called after-school restraint collapse. It isn’t a formal diagnosis. It is simply a way of describing what can happen when a child spends the day containing their feelings and then releases them in a place that feels safe.

Why Does It Happen at Home?

Parents sometimes feel insulted when their child behaves better for teachers, coaches, relatives, or other adults.

“I’m the one doing everything for this child, and I get the worst behavior.”

That frustration is understandable. You’ve worked all day too. You may be tired, hungry, overstimulated, and trying to manage dinner, homework, household responsibilities, and several competing demands.

But your child may fall apart around you precisely because home feels safer.

At school, there are social consequences for losing control. At home, your child knows consciously or not, that your relationship can survive their difficult feelings. They may trust that you will still love them when they are loud, tearful, unreasonable, or overwhelmed.

That doesn’t make hurtful or destructive behavior acceptable. Feeling safe is not permission to mistreat the family.

It does, however, give us a different way to understand what is happening.

Instead of immediately asking, “How do I stop this behavior?” we can also ask, “What is this behavior communicating?”

Sometimes the Problem Is Surprisingly Ordinary

Before assuming your child is being defiant, consider what condition they are in when they walk through the door.

They may be hungry.

They may be dehydrated.

They may be tired from sitting, concentrating, socializing, and following directions all day.

They may need movement after being physically restricted.

They may need quiet after several hours of noise.

They may be disappointed about something that happened with a friend but unable to explain it yet.

They may simply need a few minutes in which nobody asks them to do anything.

Adults often need a transition period after work. We may sit in the car for a few extra minutes, change clothes, scroll through our phones, take a shower, exercise, or watch television before we are ready to engage with the next part of the day.

Children need transitions too. They just don’t always know how to create them for themselves.

Connection Before Questions

One of the first things many parents ask at pickup is, “How was school?”

Usually, the response is “Fine,” “Good,” or “I don’t know.”

Then we start asking more questions.

“What did you learn?”

“Do you have homework?”

“What happened with your friend?”

“Why didn’t you eat your lunch?”

“Did you remember to turn in that paper?”

Our intentions are good. We are trying to stay involved. But to an exhausted child, those questions can feel like one more set of demands.

Try beginning with connection instead.

“I’m glad to see you.”

“You look tired. Let’s get you something to eat.”

“You don’t have to tell me about your day right now.”

Some children talk best during the car ride. Others open up while eating, drawing, playing, walking, or getting ready for bed. An invitation to talk is often more effective than an interrogation.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention encourages parents to maintain open communication and positive connections with their children. Connection gives children a place to bring their experiences when they are ready, not necessarily the moment they enter the car. (CDC).

Create an After-School Landing Routine

A consistent decompression period may reduce some of the conflict that occurs after school. It doesn’t need to be elaborate.

Your child’s landing routine might include:

  • A snack and water
  • Fifteen to thirty minutes without questions
  • Changing into comfortable clothes
  • Quiet time in their room
  • Music, drawing, or reading
  • Outdoor play or physical movement
  • Sitting with a parent without having to talk
  • A predictable time when homework will begin

Different children need different things. One child may need to run outside. Another may need silence. A teenager may want privacy before joining the family.

The goal isn’t to eliminate expectations. Homework still needs to be completed. Chores may still need to be done. Disrespectful behavior still needs to be addressed.

The goal is to stop demanding immediate performance from a child whose emotional resources may already be depleted.

Predictable routines can help children feel more secure, particularly during transitions and stressful periods. (CDC)

Regulate First, Correct Later

When a child is in the middle of a meltdown, that usually isn’t the best time for a lecture.

You can maintain the boundary without trying to teach the entire lesson at that moment.

“I can see that you’re upset. You still cannot hit your brother.”

“You don’t have to talk right now, but you cannot speak to me that way.”

“We’ll discuss what happened when you’re calmer.”

Keep your voice steady and use fewer words. If possible, reduce stimulation and give the child space to settle. The American Academy of Pediatrics similarly advises parents to remain calm and avoid lengthy lectures while a child is overwhelmed. (HealthyChildren.org).

Later, when everyone is calmer, return to the behavior.

Ask what happened. Name the feeling. Restate the limit. Help the child identify what they can do differently next time.

Understanding a behavior is not the same as excusing it. We can be compassionate about the reason and still hold children responsible for how they treat other people.

Look for Patterns

An occasional difficult afternoon is part of family life. Not every meltdown is evidence of a deeper problem.

But pay attention when the pattern becomes frequent, intense, or disruptive.

Ask yourself:

  • Does this happen every school day or only on certain days?
  • Is it worse when my child hasn’t eaten or slept well?
  • Does it happen after a particular class or activity?
  • Is my child struggling academically?
  • Has something changed in their friendships?
  • Are they being bullied, excluded, or embarrassed?
  • Are they working unusually hard to hide anxiety or attention difficulties at school?
  • Does the behavior also occur on weekends and during school breaks?

Talk with the teacher and compare what each of you is seeing. A child may appear fine at school while using enormous effort to maintain that appearance. In other situations, the teacher may have noticed signs of frustration, withdrawal, distraction, or social difficulty that haven’t yet been communicated.

If the behavior is severe, persistent, getting worse, or interfering with your child’s functioning, consider speaking with their pediatrician, school counselor, or a licensed mental-health professional. Early help can make problems easier to understand and address. (CDC)

Parents Need a Landing Routine Too

There is another person in this situation whose nervous system matters: yours.

If you arrive at pickup already stressed, every complaint may sound like ingratitude. Every delay may feel like defiance. Your child’s dysregulation can quickly activate your own.

Then two exhausted people begin demanding that the other one calm down.

Before responding, take a breath. Lower your voice. Remind yourself that you don’t have to solve the entire problem in the first five minutes.

You can be firm without becoming harsh. You can offer comfort without surrendering the boundary. You can take your child’s feelings seriously without treating every feeling as an emergency.

None of this means parents must remain perfectly calm. We are human. Sometimes we will react badly, raise our voices, or realize that we misunderstood what our child needed.

When that happens, we can repair it.

“I was frustrated, but I shouldn’t have yelled.”

“Let’s try that conversation again.”

That teaches children something important too.

Home Can Be Both Safe and Respectful

The child who falls apart after school may not need a harsher punishment. They may need food, movement, quiet, connection, clearer routines, or help making sense of what they have been carrying all day.

They may also need boundaries.

Those things are not opposites.

A healthy home can be a place where children are allowed to have difficult feelings without being allowed to hurt other people. It can be a place where parents look beneath behavior while still expecting accountability.

So, the next time the teacher describes your child as delightful and that delightful child melts down in your kitchen twenty minutes later, pause before concluding that they saved their worst behavior for you.

Maybe they saved their most exhausted, unguarded self for the place where they feel safest.

That doesn’t make the afternoon easy.

But understanding what is happening may help you respond to the child in front of you and not simply react to the behavior coming from them.