psychology – Licensed Mental Health Counselor

Signs of a Psychopath: What Science & News Reveal in 2025

19 Sep 202517 Sep 2025by Torey C. Richards, LMHCLeave a Comment

Psychopathy is one of those terms that triggers strong images of cool, manipulative villains, violent criminals, or people who feel no remorse. But the truth is more complex. Recent research, court cases, and psychological studies show that psychopathy is a spectrum, with traits showing up in many different ways, not always in extremes. Here are some of the clearest signs of psychopathy, plus what new findings are changing how we understand it.

I was first drawn to psychology because of my fascination with psychopathy. In fact, when I started out, I imagined myself working for the FBI as a criminal profiler, chasing the shadows of the worst of the human mind. That interest shaped my career. It’s the reason I spent years working in a mental health hospital and inside a corrections facility, where I saw firsthand how these traits play out beyond textbooks. Even now, in my downtime, I catch myself binging crime shows or listening to true-crime podcasts, still captivated by the complexity of psychopathy.

What Psychopathy Is (and Isn’t)

Psychopathy is typically characterized by traits such as callousness, lack of empathy, manipulativeness, boldness, impulsivity, and emotional coldness. These traits are measured using tools like the Hare Psychopathy Checklist (PCL-R) and others. Psychology Today+2Taylor & Francis Online+2
It overlaps with, but is not identical to, Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD). Not all with ASPD are psychopaths; not all psychopaths break the law. Some manage to live “functional” lives. Psychology Today+1

Recent Stories & Insights

A recent story: In the trial of Bryan Kohberger, accused of killing four University of Idaho students, prosecutors were barred (by a judge) from using terms like “psychopath” or “sociopath,” citing that they could prejudice the jury. The decision reflects awareness that these labels carry cultural baggage and can distort how people are perceived before evidence is weighed. The Guardian
The “Corporate Psychopath” Conversation: Business media outlets have reignited discussion around leaders who display traits like superficial charm, ruthless decision-making, and lack of empathy. These individuals may not break laws, but their callousness can devastate teams and organizations.
Psychologists at UC Berkeley are pushing to update how psychopathic personality is measured, beyond the older checklists from the ‘70s. The new model emphasizes three dimensions: boldness, callousness, and disinhibition. This allows for a more graded understanding. Someone can score high on some traits without being a “textbook psychopath.” Berkeley News+1
Another study found people with higher psychopathic traits are less likely to punish injustice when it comes at personal cost. That is, they might see a wrong happening but choose not to intervene if there’s a risk or sacrifice involved. This reveals how moral decision-making can be impaired in subtle ways. PsyPost – Psychology News

Signs That Suggest Psychopathic Traits

Here are some common signs/traits (not a diagnosis) that researchers suggest are associated with psychopathy. If you see a few in someone (or even yourself), it doesn’t mean they’re a psychopath, it just might mean these traits show up more strongly in that person than average.

Lack of Empathy: Difficulty understanding or sharing others’ emotional pain. This can show as dismissiveness or emotional coldness. PMC+1
Superficial Charm: They often come across as charismatic, persuasive, or smooth, but the warmth may feel shallow.
Grandiose Sense of Self: Overconfidence, belief in superiority, entitlement.
Pathological Lying / Manipulation: Lying not just to avoid trouble, but as a habitual strategy to get what they want.
Shallow Emotions: Emotions may be present but fleeting; they may mimic what’s expected without deeply feeling it.
Impulsivity / Irresponsibility: Acting without considering consequences; poor long-term planning.
Lack of Remorse or Guilt: Little or no regret for hurting others or breaking rules.
Need for Stimulation / Boredom Proneness: Getting easily bored, seeking thrills or novelty.
Parasitic Lifestyle: Relying on others financially or socially, exploiting others.
Poor Behavioral Controls: Aggression, irritability, violation of social norms.

Why It’s Important to Be Careful

Stigma & Labels: The word “psychopath” is sensational. In legal settings (like Kohberger’s case), using the label early can bias how people are treated. The Guardian
Spectrum, Not All-or-Nothing: Research is showing that many people have some psychopathic traits without being “dangerous” or criminal. The newer measurement models help recognize that. Taylor & Francis Online+1
Context Matters: Environment, upbringing, neurobiology all play roles. Trauma, neglect, or brain injury can contribute to developing some psychopathic traits. PsyPost – Psychology News+2Psychology Today+2

What to Do If You See These Traits

If someone you know has several of these traits and they cause harm (to themselves or others), encourage / help them seek professional evaluation.
Don’t assume diagnosis. Traits can overlap with other disorders. A clinician can use validated tools (PCL-R, PPI, etc.).
In relationships (work, personal), protect boundaries. Recognize manipulation or deception and assert your needs.
For personal self‐reflection: if you recognize some of these traits in yourself, it doesn’t mean you’re “bad” or irredeemable. Traits can be managed, awareness is the first step.

The Grey Areas

One of the most important lessons from both research and recent stories is that psychopathy is not all-or-nothing.

High-Functioning Psychopathy: Some individuals score high on traits like boldness and low empathy but channel them into socially acceptable arenas—business, politics, or even entertainment. Media often calls them “ruthless visionaries.”
The Everyday Impact: Not every psychopath is violent, but their traits can still corrode trust in workplaces, families, and communities. A co-worker who habitually manipulates or a partner who feels emotionally hollow may not headline the news, but the harm is real.

Final Thoughts

Psychopathy is not just fiction; it’s a real set of personality traits that show up across a spectrum. But much of what people believe comes from movies, sensational headlines, or trial reporting. The real power lies in understanding how these traits work and how they impact not just criminals, but everyday people.

We’re better off when we see psychopathy with clarity, not fear. By recognizing signs, separating myths from facts, and staying grounded, we improve our ability to respond, whether to support others, protect ourselves, or simply understand human behavior a little better.

Popular Psychology

Locked In: Why More Young People Are Choosing Hyper-Focus + How to Do It in a Healthy Way

17 Sep 2025by Torey C. Richards, LMHCLeave a Comment

“Locking in” (or being “locked in”) has become one of the buzziest phrases among Gen Z and younger Millennials. It’s about more than just staying busy—it means dedicating yourself to a goal with near-military focus, cutting out distractions, and aligning your habits with what you want to build or become. Newsweek+4Refinery29+4The Guardian+4

If you’ve seen motivational TikToks, to-do list montages, or people deleting apps, resisting social plans, or meal prepping like their future depends on it—it’s probably because they’re trying to lock in. Let’s dig into what’s behind the trend, why it’s appealing, some of its darker sides, and how you can try it out without burning out.

What Is “Locking In”?

Origins & evolution: The phrase appeared in gaming and sports circles first. As an athlete and sports fan I have been familiar with the phrase for a very long time. “Locked in” meant being super focused during a match, practice, or competition. Reddit+2The Guardian+2 Over time, it has shifted to broader usage. Goals related to work, fitness, finances, academics. The Times+3Refinery29+3The Guardian+3
What people are doing: Routines with structure, early alarms, limiting time on phone or social media, meal preps, working on side hustles, studying harder, investing, saving money, etc. Refinery29+2The Washington Post+2
Why now: Part of a shift away from “soft life” aesthetics (rest, comfort, peace) toward “hustle with purpose.” Economic stress, uncertainty, comparisons on social media, and a sense that waiting isn’t enough all feed into it. Refinery29+2The Guardian+2

Why It’s Attractive

Locking in holds appeal because it promises:

Agency: When things feel chaotic or out of control, it feels good to take back control, structure, and direction.
Motivation & momentum: Having a declared goal, public accountability, and a routine helps build momentum and can make progress visible.
Purpose & clarity: It pushes you to clarify priorities, what’s important, what to cut out, what to protect.
Feeling ahead: There’s this sense of “if I lock in now, I’ll be better prepared later” which feels satisfying psychologically. Yahoo+1

Risks & Pitfalls

But as with many intense trends or lifestyle shifts, there are trade-offs. Some things to watch out for:

Burnout: All discipline and no rest often leads to exhaustion. People may push too hard for too long. Refinery29+2The Guardian+2
Rigidity & guilt: When you miss a goal, skip a workout, or need rest, guilt kicks in. The trend can cultivate shame around rest or “off days.”
Comparisons & performance pressure: Social media amplifies curated lives; seeing someone else “lock in” all out can make people feel they aren’t doing enough.
Loss of balance: Sacrificing relationships, spontaneous joy, relaxation for the sake of productivity can degrade wellbeing in other areas.

How to Use “Locking In” Mindfully

If you want to try this trend without letting it dominate or harm your mental health, here are some suggestions:

Set realistic goals
Start with smaller, achievable targets. Break big goals into parts. Don’t try to overhaul everything overnight.
Include rest & joy
Block in time for fun, connection, and rest. Rest isn’t optional; it’s part of sustainable performance.
Make accountability work for you, not against you
Share goals with someone you trust. But don’t let external judgment become your main driver.
Check in with your why
Ask: “Why is this goal important to me?” If the answer starts to feel like “because everyone else is doing it” rather than something meaningful, you might need to adjust.
Adapt & adjust
If something feels toxic, unsustainable, or harming other areas of your life (relationships, health, mental clarity), pivot. Flexibility builds resilience, too.
Celebrate progress
Mark wins, big or small. The process matters, not just the outcome.

Final Thoughts

“Locking in” can be powerful. It’s a collective reawakening of discipline, purpose, and intentional living, especially in times when distraction is easy, and external pressures are high. But strength doesn’t come from endless structure alone. True resilience comes when we combine focus with meaning, rest, connection, and kindness—for ourselves.

So if you’re thinking about locking in: Go ahead. Just make sure you’re doing so in a way that builds you up, rather than wearing you down. Because locking into life should add life, not subtract from it.

Abnormal Psychology

A Journey into the Mind: Understanding the Alice in Wonderland Syndrome

18 Aug 2023by Torey C. Richards, LMHCLeave a Comment

“Curiouser and curiouser!” cried Alice as she tumbled down the rabbit hole into a world that defied logic and reason. Lewis Carroll’s fantastical adventure has not only entertained readers for generations but also inspired a curious medical phenomenon known as the Alice in Wonderland Syndrome (AIWS). This condition, much like Alice’s adventures, involves distortions of perception and reality, leading one to question what’s truly real.

What Is Alice in Wonderland Syndrome?

AIWS is a disorienting neurological condition that affects perception. Individuals with this syndrome may perceive objects as smaller or larger than they actually are, feel as though their body is changing size, or even lose a sense of time’s passage. These experiences can be both fascinating and frightening, taking one on an unexpected mental journey.

Symptoms of AIWS

Alice’s strange adventures in Wonderland resonate in the experiences of those with AIWS. Symptoms might include:

Size Distortions: Objects or parts of the body might appear larger (macropsia) or smaller (micropsia) than they actually are.
Time Distortions: Time may seem to slow down or speed up, causing disorientation.
Spatial Distortions: Distances may appear incorrect, with things seeming too close or too far away.
Altered Body Image: One might feel as if certain body parts are growing or shrinking.

Causes and Triggers

AIWS is not a disease itself, but a symptom that can be associated with various underlying conditions, including:

Migraines: The connection between migraines and AIWS is well-established, with distorted perceptions often occurring before or during a migraine attack.
Epilepsy: Seizures can sometimes trigger AIWS symptoms.
Infections: Certain infections, particularly in children, can lead to transient episodes of AIWS.
Psychiatric Conditions: Although less common, some psychiatric disorders might lead to experiences akin to AIWS.

Understanding the root cause is essential for proper management and treatment, which can vary widely depending on the underlying condition.

Diagnosis and Treatment

AIWS can be a challenge to diagnose, as its symptoms are so subjective and often transient. Medical history, detailed descriptions of the symptoms, and appropriate testing can lead to a diagnosis. Treatment usually focuses on managing the underlying condition, such as migraines, epilepsy, or infections.

The Mind’s Mysteries Unveiled

The Alice in Wonderland Syndrome offers a captivating glimpse into the complex and sometimes mysterious workings of the human mind. It reminds us that perception is not always an accurate reflection of reality, and our brains are capable of creating experiences as surreal and whimsical as any Lewis Carroll tale.

AIWS in Popular Culture

Beyond medicine, AIWS has inspired artists, writers, and thinkers. Its association with altered states of consciousness has led to explorations in literature, visual arts, and even philosophical discourse.

Conclusion: A Window into Perception

Alice’s adventures in Wonderland are more than mere children’s tales. They provide a metaphor for a medical phenomenon that challenges our understanding of perception and consciousness. AIWS is a rare but captivating condition that encourages us to reflect on how our minds construct reality.

Though it may seem fantastical, AIWS is a reminder that our perception of the world is a complex and delicate system, easily swayed by various factors. It invites us to question what we perceive as real and to marvel at the human brain’s ability to create worlds within worlds.

As we navigate our own rabbit holes in life, we can take a moment to appreciate the wonder and complexity of our minds, knowing that reality is sometimes as malleable and extraordinary as a journey through Wonderland.

Popular Psychology

The Unheard Voices: Exploring the World of Maladaptive Daydreaming

7 Jul 2023by Torey C. Richards, LMHCLeave a Comment

Daydreaming: we all do it. It’s the mind’s escape hatch, letting us leave our desks, classrooms, or daily chores to briefly venture into a realm where we’re the scriptwriters, directors, and leading actors. But for some, daydreaming isn’t just an occasional mental diversion—it’s an intricate, time-consuming saga that can interfere with their daily life. This phenomenon is known as maladaptive daydreaming, a fascinating yet often misunderstood aspect of mental health.

What is Maladaptive Daydreaming?

First coined by Professor Eliezer Somer of the University of Haifa, maladaptive daydreaming (MD) describes a condition where an individual gets excessively absorbed in daydreaming to the point where it disrupts their life. Unlike regular daydreaming, MD is not merely a brief escape from reality but a significant investment of time and mental energy.

Individuals with MD create complex daydreams, often with recurring characters and ongoing storylines. They might be triggered by real-life events, books, movies, or even music. The daydreams are usually incredibly vivid and immersive, frequently more enticing than reality, leading to individuals spending hours lost in their imagined worlds.

The Impact of Maladaptive Daydreaming

While this intense daydreaming might sound like a boon to creative individuals, the ‘maladaptive’ in maladaptive daydreaming underscores its potential drawbacks.

Individuals with MD can become so engrossed in their daydreams that it hampers their productivity, social relationships, and overall quality of life. They may neglect work or studies, have difficulty sleeping, and become socially isolated. The vivid, detailed nature of the daydreams can also elicit strong emotional responses, which can be exhausting.

Not Just Daydreaming: Recognizing Maladaptive Daydreaming

One of the key challenges with MD is that it’s not formally recognized as a disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). However, several characteristics can help distinguish it from ordinary daydreaming:

Duration: Maladaptive daydreams consume hours of a person’s day, unlike regular daydreams.
Control: Individuals with MD often feel they have less control over their daydreaming and may struggle to stop or reduce it.
Distress and Dysfunction: MD leads to significant distress, often due to guilt, shame, or the inability to perform daily tasks effectively.
Immersive Daydreams: The daydreams in MD are incredibly vivid and detailed, often with complex plots and characters.

What Can Be Done?

For those who identify with the traits of maladaptive daydreaming, acknowledging it is the first step. Awareness is key to understanding how these daydreams might be influencing your life.

Next, consider seeking professional help. Therapists, particularly those specializing in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), can help individuals develop strategies to manage their daydreaming and deal with the issues it may cause.

For some, maladaptive daydreaming is a way of coping with loneliness, trauma, or dissatisfaction with life. In such cases, therapy may involve addressing these underlying issues.

Finally, finding supportive communities—such as online forums or local mental health groups—can also provide comfort and shared coping strategies.

A World Within a World

The realm of maladaptive daydreaming reminds us of the mind’s immense capacity to create, illustrating how our internal worlds can sometimes become as influential as the reality we navigate daily. While this mental phenomenon can cause challenges, understanding it is the first step to managing its effects and helping those who experience it live balanced, fulfilling lives. With more research and recognition, we can hope for better support and resources for those living in the world of maladaptive daydreaming.

Popular Psychology

Tips To Fighting Depression While Social Isolating

6 Apr 2020by Torey C. Richards, LMHCLeave a Comment

This morning I was speaking with a coworker who shared how she was starting to feel depressed with the quarantine and social distancing most of us are experiencing. She stated, “There’s only so much texting and talking on the phone you can do.” A lot of us are feeling that way and as this crisis goes on for (hopefully only) a few more weeks, it can become more and more depressing and anxiety provoking.

To combat becoming depressed and anxious during this time, here are seven of my favorite tips.

Take Care of Your Body

It’s easy to lose focus of our bodies with all the gyms closed and us being forced to stay inside, but working out, eating healthy and getting rest is one of the best ways to keep us both mentally and physically healthy. Your workout can be a simple walk around the block or taking advantage of a multitude of easy workout apps just to keep your body moving and endorphins flowing.

Limit News Intake

We all want to stay informed, but it’s too easy to become overwhelmed with the 24/7 news coverage and nearly hourly breaking news interruptions. I even find myself watching hours of local and national news and have to remind myself to take a break. For people who are prone to depression and anxiety, too much media intake will only make it worse. Stay informed, but limit yourself to how much coverage you follow.

Create a Routine

Many of us are working from home or perhaps even laid off. It’s easy to stay in bed all day or sit in front of the television for hours. Having a routine helps to break us out of that. We can even create a to-do list of all the things we’d like to accomplish that day. For some us struggling with anxiety and depression, it may be as simple as waking up before noon, taking a shower and eating something healthy.

Don’t Work Too Hard

For those of us who are working from home, it may become easier to just focus on work and even work more than we would if we were actually in a physical building. This can lead to burnout. Try to keep the same schedule and hours you wold have at work, even if you’re at home. Take your lunch breaks and start and stop work as you usually would.

Reach Out To Others

We may not be able to visit friends or go to Starbucks with our best friend right now, but we can still take advantage of the various ways we can still communicate such as the telephone, text, Skype, Zoom, and Face Time. The list goes on and on. Reaching out to others helps us remember that we’re not alone in this even if we may feel like it.

Fight Boredom

Being bored can make everything feel worse than it is. Now is the time to catch up on a series on Netflix you’ve always wanted to watch, finish that 1,000 piece puzzle or challenge yourself in any other way you can think of. I personally am using this time to catch up on some reading and a little bit of Netflix too.

Be Positive

Tony Robbins, one of my favorite motivational speakers often says, “Trade your expectations, for appreciation”. No one wants to go through what we are going through, but we can still find something positive in this moment. It could be getting closer through messaging with a friend we hadn’t spoken to in years or spending more time with our family.

A friend of mine who was laid off used his newly found free time to fix up a boat that had been neglected and sent me a photo of him and his dog out on the lake enjoying the sunset! He could be really sad right now focusing on being laid off, but instead he’s being positive and embracing the insanity. It’s easy to focus on the negative, but finding small things to appreciate will help us get through this.

Remember This Is Temporary

Thankful, like all crisis and disasters, this will come to an end. If we focus on how long it’s been or how much longer it will be, each day will drag by. Take it one day at a time. Focus on today and what’s good about today. We’ll worry about tomorrow when it comes.

Popular Psychology

5 Reasons Women Pretend To Be Pregnant

9 Mar 20209 Mar 2020by Torey C. Richards, LMHC1 Comment

I’ve been asked a lot since my post Is Pretending to Be Pregnant a Mental Illness, what are the most common reasons someone would lie about being pregnant.

I’ve talked to many women who have lied about being pregnant since I wrote that post and have heard many reasons these women pretended to be pregnant. Here are five of the most common reasons.

Reasons Women Lie About Being Pregnant

Attention: A lot of women tell me that they like the attention that they get from their partner, their friends, family or just other people in general when they think they are pregnant. They feel that people treat them nicer and that feeling of being treated special can be very addicting.
To Keep a man: This is probably the biggest reason Some women claim to be pregnant, to keep a man from leaving them, or in some instances to get him to propose. They believe that a good man won’t abandon them if they are pregnant and will use that lie to keep him around either long enough to actually get pregnant or long enough for her to win back his affection which usually requires more psychological and emotional manipulation. This strategy doesn’t usually work and only prolongs the inevitable break up. However, throughout history it has worked enough times that some women see it as a worthy gamble.
Extortion: Some women, a surprisingly a large number of them being college students, will use pretending to be pregnant as a money making extortion. Some of are having affairs with wealthy, but married men, some who are college professors or other prominent members in the community who would pay large amounts of money to make the evidence of their infidelity go away. Some women actually do this on a regular basis, conning more than one guy at a time as they rake in the money to pay for college tuition, books, shopping sprees and trips.
Privilege: There are women who will pretend to be pregnant for the smallest, trivial things. Some to get in the front of a line or use a restroom in first class on a plane. Some lie about being pregnant to get free food, to explain eating large amounts of food, to escape from being judged for being overweight or to get special treatment or time off from work. In her book, Meternity, Meghann Foye writes about a woman who pretends to be pregnant in order to get paid maternity or has she says, “meternity” leave.
Revenge: Some women use the lie of being pregnant to get back at a partner who has left them. They may lie about the pregnancy to make him look bad, to cause drama in his new relationship or simply to just drive him crazy with anxiety and fear so that he can’t move on because it’s possible he may be having a baby with someone he is trying to move on from.

There are countless reasons why someone pretends to be pregnant. I’ve heard everything from “to get my roommate to move out” to “to get out of helping someone move”.

Some of the reasons require someone to pretend to be pregnant for a very short time, while others require a longer commitment. I don’t think either one is better than the other, but psychologically, I think women who pretend to be pregnant to people they have to deal with on a regular basis and thus have to continue to lie for longer periods of time are women who are more likely to have deeper personality, mental and emotional issues. Unlike a short lie about being pregnant, a prolonged lie requires a resolution at some point. A baby either has to be produced or another lie about an abortion or miscarriage has to be created.

In extreme cases, this may cause someone to kidnap or even murder someone else in order to steal and secure a baby.

Popular Psychology

Interview With A Hit Man

27 Jun 201927 Jun 2019by Torey C. Richards, LMHCLeave a Comment

In my line of profession, I often talk to people who have committed horrendous crimes, including murder. It is not uncommon for me to have spoken to half of dozen people each day who have been convicted of killing someone else. It is rare, however, for me to speak with someone who has been convicted of killing multiple people. A serial killer if you will, but this man, Jose Martinez is a dangerous Hit Man.

I won’t say more as I don’t want to be in violation of his HIPPA rights or violate any other codes of ethic, so here’s a public video showing an interview with Mr. Jose Martinez.

Popular Psychology

Violence And The Mentally Ill

24 Jun 201924 Jun 2019by Torey C. Richards, LMHCLeave a Comment

Many people believe that all violent, sadistic and dangerous people in our society are mentally ill, thus coming to the conclusion that mentally ill people are dangerous.

The truth is, people with mental illnesses are no more likely to be violent than anyone else. Only about 3% to 5% of violent acts can be attributed to individuals with a serious mental illness.

Many movies depict violent characters as being mentally ill and often the news continuously replays stories of the rare occurrences when someone with a mental illness acted out in violence. We start to associate mental illness with violence.

One of society’s biggest fears are acts of violence that are senseless, random, unprovoked and unpredictable and thanks to the media, we often associate this with mental illness. We somehow take more comfort in knowing a man was stabbed to death walking down the street during a robbery than if he was stabbed to death walking down the street for no apparent reason.

This stigmatization is just one of many things people with a mental illness face. I have often heard people say they were afraid of a suicidal individual or someone who self-injured themselves: “If they would do that to themselves, what do you think they would do to me?” The fact is, most suicidal and self-harming individuals would rather hurt themselves before they would hurt anyone else.

While it is rare, people with mental illnesses, just like anyone else in the general population, can act out in violence. Individuals who have a substance abuse disorder alone are much more likely to become violent than the general public, including those individuals who have a mental illness alone or an associated substance abuse disorder.

However, when it comes to dealing with mental illness, individuals who abuse substances, have a co-occurring mental disorder and are non-compliant with their medication are at higher risk of committing violence.

Even with the combination of substance abuse and non-medication compliance, the general public are not at high risk of being attacked by someone with a mental illness. People who are in close relationship with these individuals such as family and friends, especially if they have troubled relationships and/or are financial dependence are more likely to become victims of violence.

Some of the most predictive variables for violence untreated psychotic symptoms to include suspicion/paranoia, hostility, severe hallucinations and poor insight into their delusions and the overall mental illness.

A Tragic Example

I recently spoke to a young man who appears to have had his first psychotic episode, at-least as far as he knows. He’s in his early twenties and at the prime age for the onset of many psychiatric disorders including schizophrenia.

One day last week he was home watching YouTube videos and became paranoid that someone was going to come and rape his mother. Alarmed and frightened, he armed himself, first with a shotgun, but discovering the shot gun was not operational, he armed himself with a handgun. He proceeded to guard the house from what he thought were real threats to his mother, some mysterious intruder/rapist. What happened next rocked the whole community.

At some point, his mother came downstairs and he shot her twice in the head. He then shot their dog twice in the head as well before setting the house on fire and rowing a boat across a lake. According to the people who were at that house, he came out of the boat shirtless, walking slowly and looking like Jason from Friday the 13^th. He was chased away by the homeowner and ran off into the woods. Soon after he turned himself into authorities and the totality of his behavior was brought to light. When the authorities went to his burned down home they found the charred body of his mother and their dog.

I have worked with a lot of individuals who were experiencing their first psychotic episodes, but I have never spoken to someone so young that went from apparently “normal” to acting out so violently in response to paranoid delusions and hallucinations.

Most individuals, who develop a psychotic disorder or any mental illness for the most part, start off with small signs and symptoms that if left untreated, can lead to worsening symptoms and rarely horrible things like suicide or violence. Usually this takes several months to years to decompensate to this level. It’s very rare for someone’s first psychotic episode to turn out so violent, causing death and destruction.

Thankfully, situations like that are extremely rare.

Warning Signs

Some warning signs to look out for when dealing with anyone, not just someone with a mental illness include:

Pacing
Psychomotor Agitation (i.e., leg bouncing rapidly)
Combative posturing (i.e., fist balled up)
Paranoid or threatening remarks
Irritability
Talking to self in language that includes violence or paranoia

If you see these behaviors, it may or may not mean that the person has a mental illness, but these are signs that someone is possibly in a volatile state. Stay calm, give them space, avoid intimidating eye contact.

If you have to deal with the person because they are a friend, family member or even a customer in your place of business, use a calm/soothing voice, helpful attitude, avoid loud noises, remove potentially dangerous objects and attempt to give positive reinforcement until you can either get help or get out of the situation.

We all probably know someone with a mental health problem and many of us don’t even know it because most individuals with mental health problems are productive members of our community.

When we destigmatize the violence associated with being mentally ill, we make it easier for those individuals to seek treatment and to talk about it with their family and friends instead of hiding it out of fear or shame.

Overcoming Suffering While Incarcerated

14 Jun 201914 Jun 2019by Torey C. Richards, LMHCLeave a Comment

Working in a correctional setting, I often find myself reciting my favorite quote by Viktor Frankl; “To live is to suffer. To survive is to find meaning in the suffering.” The reason this quote appears to have such relevance when dealing with incarcerated people is that many of them see themselves as suffering. They are imprisoned, away from their families and often facing uncertain futures. Many become depressed, anxious, hopeless and unfortunately, suicidal.

When I speak with inmates who see themselves and their situation as depressing and bleak, I remind them that yes, they may feel like they are suffering, but that is life. A large part of life for most people includes a great deal of suffering. There is joy, and there is pain. I remind them that they are not the only ones suffering. They are incarcerated with hundreds of other individuals going through similar situations and millions of people around the world who are going through their own struggles.

I encourage them to accept the reality of it. Learn from it. Figure out how to use this suffering to become a better, stronger person instead of dwelling on it and allowing it to punish you even more.

There is a popular saying in prisons that goes, “Do time, don’t let time do you”, which means to use your time incarcerated to better yourself, to live life even in the bleakest circumstances and to not just be miserable and unhappy counting down the months, years or even decades until you are released (if ever). Have something to look forward to and remember that suffering doesn’t have to last forever. This situation doesn’t have to be permanent. People find ways to live good, happy lives even while imprisoned for life.

I ask every inmate I evaluate, “What do you have to live for? What are you looking forward to?” I want to know what will motivate them to not only survive the stressful environment of being in incarcerated, but also what will give them something to hold on to when they start struggling with depressing and negative thoughts.

Many will say they have kids to live for, or they’re young and have their whole lives ahead of them, or their family or goals they want to accomplish. These individuals tend to be much less likely to both get in more trouble while incarcerated as well as are less likely to attempt suicide compared to those who struggle with or can’t find a reason to live.

Lastly, I also try to help inmates to stop seeing themselves as victims. Many inmates think that they are being punished unjustly, or they keep getting arrested because they have bad luck. They blame the system, their friends, society. These inmates are more likely to deal with depression, suicidal thoughts and to become repeat offenders.

Instead, I try to help them see that things happen for them, not to them. Yes they got arrested and it sucks, but maybe this is going to save their lives by getting them off drugs, stop them from associated with that criminal element, teach them that they really do need anger management classes or that they really need to take their psychotropic medications. Hopefully this experience will help them reexamine their lives and make better choices.

When people see things as happening for them, instead of to them, they do time better, easier and even happier. They become inmate workers, earn GEDs and even college degrees while incarcerated. They tend not to look like the typical depressed, angry, bitter inmates that I encounter far to often.

The things I try to teach these inmates are invaluable to helping them survive being incarcerated and they can use it when they are released to hopefully live better lives and to not come back. It can also help all of us understand that we’re not special, things happen, life sometimes sucks, don’t take it personal, don’t dwell on it, learn from it and grow from it. It’s when we get stuck feeling down, victimized, hopeless, worthless and negative that we stop fully living life and start suffering though life. That’s when we start living in a prison of our own construction regardless of if we are incarcerated or not.

Get In To The Habit Of Asking Yourself: “Does This Support The Life I’m Trying To Create?”

24 Apr 2019by Torey C. Richards, LMHC1 Comment

We create the lives we want by the things we think, the things we do, how we spend our time and the people we spend our time with.

The problem is, many of us mindlessly do things and spend time with people that do not support the life we are trying to create. We say we want to raise our standards and make positive changes in our lives, but our habits show otherwise.

This is a very common theme with the inmates I work with in the jail. I see some of the same inmates re-incarcerated over and over again. Many of them are generally good, caring and intelligent individuals who could do anything they set their minds to.

They have goals and dreams that don’t include being behind bars, yet when they get released from jail they tend to go back to the same neighborhood, hang around the same people and end up doing the same things that landed them in jail to begin with.

They are holding themselves back, just as many of us are holding ourselves back by wasting time and energy doing things and associating with people who are not going to get us to the lives we want for ourselves.

We may be in relationships with partners who don’t believe in us, don’t support our goals and dreams or worst, attempt to sabotage our goals rather it be weight-loss goals, financial goals or our happiness.

We may be at jobs that don’t offer room to grow, that doesn’t offer training courses for professional improvement and career advancement or simply requires so much of our time and energy that at the end of the day we have none left for much of anything else, let alone to pursue our passions and talents.

There are countless ways we can be in situations that are not supportive of what we are trying to create for ourselves. It’s real easy to get stuck situations and habits without thinking much about it, which is why I think it’s important for us to take a step back from time to time and become mindful about what we are doing and to remember what is it we really want.

So get into the habit of asking yourself, especially when you get that gut feeling or you know deep down you shouldn’t be doing something (i.e., going out drinking when you should be home studying): “Does this support the life I’m trying to create”.

At least once a week, get into the habit of taking a quick inventory of your life. It doesn’t have to take a long time or be complicated, but check in with yourself:

How is my life going? (take a quick look at all the important areas of your life and how satisfied you are in those areas)
Make a note of the areas that need adjustment (areas where you are not so satisfied) and then commit to making changes in those areas.
Get to work making changes in those areas and repeat this check in again in a week or so. Little adjustments add up to big changes and you will realize you’ll start living more mindfully and intentional in creating the life you want and deserve.